Solipsistic

by BentleeSmith Falls, Ontario, Canada

Jan 2011 1,023 Views 14 comments

~Solipsistic~

The band they "Do" march to the beat of "My" drum
Defined and placed where "I" need them to be
As "I" stare through "My" gaze of pictures "I" paint
As "I" sit and think of what's next to come.

Perhaps deep inside "I" see life is just wrong
What they say, what they think, what they do in their life
Maybe it's working just only for them
For "Me" it's not right and "YOU'LL CHANGE IT RIGHT NOW".

You're kidding right!!!!!!........aren't you!!!
As you mess with "My" head
"YOU'LL NEVER SUCCEED TO HAVE IT YOUR WAY".

"I" get more players to join "My" band
To trumpet "My" thoughts of how it will be
As "I" think of whats right in this play of "My" life~

~Bentlee~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Posted: Jan 2011

About this poem:

~Solipsistic~

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Comments (14)

BentleeOPSmith Falls, Ontario CanadaFeb 2, 2011

Solipsistic......check the meaning of the word, it reminded me of me back when I was that age.........hence the inspiration to write this

FellsmanLake District, Cumbria, England UKFeb 2, 2011

Hi Bentlee

I know what solipsism is: I also know where you are coming from with your poem.

I read it through a couple of times, the second time making a conscious effort to ignore all the inverted commas.

I found the rhythm flowed really well when I read it through second time. I think the reason could be because the inverted commas have the (possibly unintended) consequence of turning an unstresses syllable into a stressed syllable resulting in an unwanted pause in the wrong place, and this interferes with the rhythm.

Can I stress that this is only my opinion, and isn't intended as a criticism - after all, I am the one who can't make the poem scan reading it with those commas - yet I know exactly why you are using them.

Does any of what I've written make sense to you?

Best wishes

Fellsman

BentleeOPSmith Falls, Ontario CanadaFeb 2, 2011

Ty Fellsman. It really was a hard one to write, to try to identify a person didn't seem to work, unless it was directed at me being the writer. Yet it's not about me, it's purely a derivative of the definition of the word. Ty for commenting and sharing what you got from my write. Bentlee. Cheers and ty for your ideas.

SCatlynBrecon, South Glamorgan, Wales UKFeb 2, 2011

Wow - been meaning to look up solipsistic so I could comment here. But at the moment I'm blown away by the definition

... b/c it's something I've thought about, though I don't believe it's true. (I'm real, btw, so solipsistic... it's only a theory IMO... b/c you know you're real, and I know that I am. So there's 2 of us, which means there are millions more. But the thought had occurred to me a few years back - what if I'm the only one & everything is a figment of my mind, including all the people I know of, and their reactions. I think I got that idea partially from an episode of Twilight Zone.)
Well, this will sound VERY confusing if a person doesn't know the definition of Solip., or if my understanding of it is wrong. It wouldn't be the 1st time I got it wrong

Will have to comment later - when I can compare my "pre-solip" view w/my "post-solip" view.

I know this much - it's great!

gnj4uBoston, Massachusetts USAFeb 2, 2011

Hi, Bentlee,
To a college friend's comment that the only sure thing in life was death, I remember responding that the only sure thing in life was life. Was that solipsistic? Were only the self to exist, lucky is one who can write The band they "Do" march to the beat of "My" drum and be pleased with the tune created. I, for one, would not be too proud of some of the "representations of that self having no independent existence" ...too much responsibility with little recognition of power to alter to a better reality. I'm so glad that I created you and your poem in order to consider this point - or, at least, that I read it!

BentleeOPSmith Falls, Ontario CanadaFeb 2, 2011

Ty Scatlyn for your cool reply.

When we are young, we tend to balk the system, be it the school, the law, the parental or the ........ system, to which ever is represented as such. We knew it all back in those days, we were always right......in our mind. Lack of life experience or lack of proper guidence combined with ignorance, left us to be strong in our thoughts or survival skills for the moment we were at. Ty for sharing your ideas with my write.

BentleeOPSmith Falls, Ontario CanadaFeb 2, 2011

Thanks Gnj, absolutely life is a given, death is a given, as well as being right.......with an immature noncultured mind. Where with, in-experience of life, one's mind needs to believe in something solid and credible, even if it's non-tangible. Personally I believe it's a part of growing up and a pass through phase. Just my opinion.

SCatlynBrecon, South Glamorgan, Wales UKFeb 16, 2011

Okay, now I've read again... and with a clearer head(I think

). Between reading again & your explanation, I would guess that the word "Solipsistic" is a metaphor for your state of mind, or way of seeing things, in your younger years...
(even if it's not, I do understand your poem!lol)

BentleeOPSmith Falls, Ontario CanadaFeb 17, 2011

thats exactly it Scatlyn, a one minded view of things....one's own. Lol ty for sharing your thoughts

caroljoyceManchester, Greater Manchester, England UKFeb 25, 2011

I just do simple stuff, I have no head for technicalities but I do see life as a huge play where we all play agreed parts in it.
Interesting and intelligent write.
CJ

schawalskiCork, IrelandApr 5, 2011

hey bentlee hmm quite interesting , i feel like this sometimes , so am i selfish , egotistical , righter than right , I could be , I just checked out the meaning of the title

BentleeOPSmith Falls, Ontario CanadaApr 22, 2011

Hi Shawalski, perhaps perhaps not lol. I was talking with a friend one day about this, topic of conversation only, I thought it would be an interesting write. Ty for commenting