Her hair is like spun gold
Hard, brittle and sparse
A smile to launch a thousand ships
And send them to the bottom
Eyes bright like dead of night
The corpses they run screaming
Teeth of pure pearly white
Well maybe they once were
Now just black and rotten
The skin on face, smooth and white
On the cracks she used body filler
Her ears so daintily long
Almost touching her shoulders
Nose so petite, sits right there
Competition for Mt Fujiyama
All in all such a beauteous sight
And that's just above her shoulders
Well shoulders so dainty
Come on, you think I jest
Compared to the hump she carries
To call it a hump is to make light of it
Would seem more like a small Mitsubishi
And bosoms so fine, they're rather large
They drag along the ground behind her
It would be remiss of me
Not to speak of this other
This place so private it be
But hell, I might as well
You can certainly smell it coming
This smells something between
A huge rotting cesspool
And the other I don't want to imagine
So my advice to you my friend
If you should see her coming
Leave your honey toast behind
And run like hell's hounds behind you