Having a full background check done on a potential mate... ( Archived) (47)

Look at it this way....

if he bothered to have a search done then he would be very interested in you as a future partner....so in some way its a compliment....

In hind sight I wish Id done a few searches on one exe....would have seen he was prone to violence...

If you have nothing to hide I dont see a problem

Does that also count for work etc.???

If we think we have privacy in todays society we are kidding ourselves.

Can we also then say asking any questions about our past by a potential partner is an invasion of privacy???

I have never and would never do a search but am open minded to someone needing to do that

my question/thought exactly roh

and my answer is in such a case the relationship would be over - altho I have a clean background - I will choose the time & place AND with whom and what information to share with others

it would permanently end the relationship - not negotaible

Very interesting. If you look at the breakdown of responses, the group who most believe it's a good way to protect oneself is women ages 18-40 at 67%. Men 18-40 have 0% in that category, with most responses in the "invasion of privacy" category.

Remember that the wording of the poll specifies "potential mate." This would not include someone with whom you are already "mated." Personally, I have done such checks. In the early days of my online dating experience, I ran a check on a man I had been communicating with for over 4 months. It's a good thing I did. He was a scammer. He had chosen the identity of a person who actually existed in the state of Maryland. He had a web site for his fake business. He said that he was going to do some business in Greece for a couple of weeks, but it was 10 days before he contacted me again. It was during this time that I ran the check. It's a good thing I did. He was off on just enough details that I became suspicious, so when he requested a "loan" of $1,800 for supplies to finish up his business so that he could hurry and get back to the states and come to meet me, instead of sending money, I asked questions. I refused to send the money and never heard from him again. I'm pretty sure that if I had sent the money, I still would have never heard from him again. I had no idea that scammers would spend 4 months priming a victim for the strike.

Would I run a check on someone I met face to face? Maybe. I feel that if someone feels it is an invasion of privacy to peruse public records, they probably have something to hide. Would I care if he ran a check on me? Absolutely not. I have nothing to hide, and would probably applaud his prudence.

Felix thing is.....

Unless they told you they had done the search....you wouldnt know anyway that it had been done

If I have minor children in the home for the sake of their safety, I would absolutely have a background check done.

well the original question presumes knowledge.


but coincidentally there are actaully mistakes - locations (residences) for example in my background so I would be onto him most likely if he coughed up incorrect details or asked the wrong question
but you make a good point - it's question I will be sure to ask - face to face

and here (to rivame and roh also) is why I know I am NOT going to meet someone online - I would never bring anyone into my home as a mate or potential mate whose background I do not know already. Ima small town girl