Should a man still have to pay child support if his partner became pregnant after sabotaging birth c (69)
michaelkkkilkenny, Kilkenny Ireland41 Postsif the mother of the child is that calculating and deceitful...i feel sorry for the child!
Foxxie: I am just interested in hearing peoples thoughts. This is not a man vs woman poll as I know there are men who sabotage birth control as well.
*If you unzipped your pants then you're at fault, period! If you had kept your pants zipped up this would never have become a problem.
it's a sad situation and all too common - however, it takes two to create life - and now with DNA - the father gotsta pay -
The child did not ask to be born into this world and that is where the child support goes - to the child.
The child did not ask to be born into this world and that is where the child support goes - to the child.
It's a tough one. I would have no time to anyone deceiving a partner in any way and it says a lot about a person who would do something like that. A family should ideally consist of 3 people, a woman deceiving a man prevents that. If a woman purposely sabotages birth control and decides herself to get a child, I think she should be responsible for it herself. Everyone involved can only hope the father would take responsibility for the child's sake.
but ya if u are willing to be responsible for the "outcome" be it medical care, parenthood w/e - then by all means do ya thang
jac379: What would each man's conscience say in terms of the child being to blame?
If you bring a child into this world, you should be responsible for it....Regardless of circumstances.
There's something else missing here.
How can you prove sabotage on Birth Control... I mean pills can fail and EVERY kind of contraceptive method can fail... so ,there's a chance that the mom would get pregnant involuntarily as well... Would the dad still have the right to claim "sabotage"?
It's the same if a mom gets pregnant by accident and gives up on the baby ... cos it wasn't planned...
I know there are women that would do anything to keep a man with them , including birth control sabotage and irresponsable men that would run away and stuff... but that's not my point.
But regardless of HOW was the baby conceived ( I mean the circumstances... wel all know how are babies conceived lol),a baby is a baby... right?
A good hearted man wouldn't give up I think, regardless of everything.
How can you prove sabotage on Birth Control... I mean pills can fail and EVERY kind of contraceptive method can fail... so ,there's a chance that the mom would get pregnant involuntarily as well... Would the dad still have the right to claim "sabotage"?
It's the same if a mom gets pregnant by accident and gives up on the baby ... cos it wasn't planned...
I know there are women that would do anything to keep a man with them , including birth control sabotage and irresponsable men that would run away and stuff... but that's not my point.
But regardless of HOW was the baby conceived ( I mean the circumstances... wel all know how are babies conceived lol),a baby is a baby... right?
A good hearted man wouldn't give up I think, regardless of everything.
Mmmmh... he should probably rethink his choosing of women...
Washington State has a very weird law on the books. In my state, if a man dates a woman with children, he is responsible monetarily for those children, even if he is NOT the father of the children!
That's why a lot of men will not date any women with children in my state. So it seems like single mothers in Washington would have a hard time finding any dates.
This law was in place as of a few years ago, and I assume it is still the law.
That's why a lot of men will not date any women with children in my state. So it seems like single mothers in Washington would have a hard time finding any dates.
This law was in place as of a few years ago, and I assume it is still the law.
Now, I love kids as much as the next guy, but I wouldn't want to take responsibility for other people's kids, at least not monetarily, anyway. Babysitting is one thing, but paying for their care is way out of my monetary league.
I've never been fortunate enough to have children but I'd like to think I'd be only too delighted to have some of my flesh and blood in the world, regardless of how they got here and I'd like to think I would play some part in their lives including financial responsibility. I think it is evil to turn your back on a child.
My feelings for the mother however, would be a whole different ball game. I think though, I'd try to come to terms with it though as the child would sense the tension.
All theory though. Like I said, I've never had kids.
My feelings for the mother however, would be a whole different ball game. I think though, I'd try to come to terms with it though as the child would sense the tension.
All theory though. Like I said, I've never had kids.
felixis99: I agree - nothing wrong with requesting paternity to be tested - that's not always foolproof but another good tool. I don;t think sabotage is something that happens often either. Most likely the couple gets careless about the birth control and now the guy is wanting out of things - in a case like that I say NO. You have to share in support, but so does the mom. AND both families as far as parents (if the couple is very young) In fact the father should also remain in the vicinity to gt to know his "offspring" and share in the care
I was wondering if anyone would open this door. (Thanks). In some states, if the father has paid child support (if estranged), OR if the couple is married or in a domestic partnership, he is ordered to continue financial support for the child even if testing proves he is NOT the biological father. (The trick is to refuse to pay until tests are done and are conclusive). A "negative" result means that the man can charge her for the testing, and any lost time from work, if applicable. Oh, I almost forgot, the reason for the ruling of continued financial support: The courts in those states believe that there must have been good enough reason to accept the baby as his own, AND the fairness issue of the child not being in any way responsible, and the right of the child to expect the same love and care from the father it has come to believe is its own.
rohaan: I was wondering if anyone would open this door. (Thanks). In some states, if the father has paid child support (if estranged), OR if the couple is married or in a domestic partnership, he is ordered to continue financial support for the child even if testing proves he is NOT the biological father. (The trick is to refuse to pay until tests are done and are conclusive). A "negative" result means that the man can charge her for the testing, and any lost time from work, if applicable. Oh, I almost forgot, the reason for the ruling of continued financial support: The courts in those states believe that there must have been good enough reason to accept the baby as his own, AND the fairness issue of the child not being in any way responsible, and the right of the child to expect the same love and care from the father it has come to believe is its own.
I think that is a horrible law designed to keep the financial supporter paying money so the state does not have to. What if the 'father' who has just discovered that he is not actually the father at all, has no relationship with the child. Why should he be forced to continue making payments to support another man and womans child who he has no relationship with, and who may have no relationship with him? Seems bizarre.
seems like there should be some distinction for a man who has no relationship to the child, I agree - but only where paternity has been PROVEN to be someone else. most women do know who the father is. And again, IF you are a parent you are - it's black & white
take responsibilty or keep 'em zipped up
I do not agree that men are treated unfairly. I think the parent least able to pay is usually treated the least fairly OR the parent the authorities believe to be the most law abiding will get the shaft because the authorities feel they can get that person to "obey" (which is what happened to me)
interestingly I have a niece who refused to tell who the father of her child was because she did not want to allow him any part of their lives - and she moved 600 miles away from him - so it can go both ways- I think he did want t obe involved but with paternity not established - and her whereabouts unknown.....
the scenarios can be so varied that it is foolhardy to think one solution can resolve everything
the only real constant is - if you are a parent: you are
take responsibilty or keep 'em zipped up
I do not agree that men are treated unfairly. I think the parent least able to pay is usually treated the least fairly OR the parent the authorities believe to be the most law abiding will get the shaft because the authorities feel they can get that person to "obey" (which is what happened to me)
interestingly I have a niece who refused to tell who the father of her child was because she did not want to allow him any part of their lives - and she moved 600 miles away from him - so it can go both ways- I think he did want t obe involved but with paternity not established - and her whereabouts unknown.....
the scenarios can be so varied that it is foolhardy to think one solution can resolve everything
the only real constant is - if you are a parent: you are
felixis99: we're going to be charging you double and loving it
just kidding BTW
I am sure the mother won't care if u don't hang around
take it easy bad boy
Carl96190: No surprises there. That is one of the reasons that I have not touched a woman for 11 years.
well then a cyber hug will have to dohope you noticed that I did follow up & say I was joking
honestly carl I have seen the system be ridiculously unfair to men & women both. best advice I have is to stay OUT of it - if you want to split up do so amongst yourselves - agree & come to terms together because once a couple ends up in the courts they lose all control over their children, lives & assets - both men & women
and most stomp off to court in childish anger not realizng the damage they are going to cause for themselves & others
a couples assets should be spent on improving their lives & those of any children NOT on lawyers...jmho
As a single mother I never took dad to court and all of our lives have been better for it.
NAKEDMUDPEOPLE: As a single mother I never took dad to court and all of our lives have been better for it.
does this mean he took you to court instead?
Foxxie: I am just interested in hearing peoples thoughts. This is not a man vs woman poll as I know there are men who sabotage birth control as well.
It must be proven in a court and by a jury in a full trial based upon willful fraud...
No all you have to do is give up rights to the child to the courts. And you wont have to pay child support.
Yes, he should pay and should get involved in the child's life. We assume a risk when we accept to tango. We put our trust in the other one and the other one could betray the trust; but we accepted, so we also must assume the consequences of the outcome.
Foxxie: I am just interested in hearing peoples thoughts. This is not a man vs woman poll as I know there are men who sabotage birth control as well.
Read the whole thread. And ya aren't going to like what I gotta say. Both should be held responsiable for the child. If you don't want a baby you do what you are suppose to do not to have one. Otherwise pay the piper. Two consenting adults is what I am talking about. So we can take from this if you are going to sleep with someone who has a deceptive nature put on a rain coat. If you say you did not know her to be deceptive then put on a damn raincoat you don't know her that well if you did not know that she was deceptive. Take percautions to prevent it. Put the blame where it belongs with the person who did not want children and yet did nothing to prevent it. Have a nice day 
In response to: and the biological mother has no responsibilities?
The world will always expect a higher level of accountability from men. It's the way it is.(quote did not break correctly...)
The world will always expect a higher level of accountability from men. It's the way it is.
The world will always expect a higher level of accountability from men. It's the way it is.
rohaan: The world will always expect a higher level of accountability from men. It's the way it is.
it depends on what world you live in. I see more and more women taking a back seat and the men mommying. So naturally if these couples break up it is the woman that pays the child support. And yes court ordered. It seems the only way child support is rendered now a days is with a court order. It really is quite easy if one does not want to be in this position then don't have children. It is not a magic act. I have not checked your profile to see how old you are but this really seems a little out dated "The world will always expect a higher level of accountability from men." and maybe it is not the world you live in but the time you grew up in. 
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