Would you check a partners E-mail or Texts unbeknown to them?.... (77)
No, and I wouldn't want that done to me. And I have other ways of finding these things out. 
jac379: analogy
?'nal?d?i/
noun
noun: analogy; plural noun: analogies
1.
a comparison between one thing and another, typically for the purpose of explanation or clarification.
I see where people may struggle with my figurative thinking as opposed to perhaps more literal concepts.
?'nal?d?i/
noun
noun: analogy; plural noun: analogies
1.
a comparison between one thing and another, typically for the purpose of explanation or clarification.
I see where people may struggle with my figurative thinking as opposed to perhaps more literal concepts.
I wouldn't have struggled with the war analogy alone.
The other bit read to me like you were saying the snooping,
was an assault.
If that wasn't your intent, then I misunderstood.
PS...Yea that's me, I struggle with analogies.
Ocee102: Source: Associated Press, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy
Research Date: 1.1.2014
Marriage Infidelity Statistics Data
Percent of marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional 41 %
Percent of men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they’ve had 57 %
Percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they’ve had 54 %
Percent of married men who have strayed at least once during their married lives 22 %
Percent of married women who have strayed at least once during their married lives 14 %
Percentage of men and women who admit to having an affair with a co-worker 36 %
Percentage of men and women who admit to infidelity on business trips 35%
Percentage of men and women who admit to infidelity with a brother-in-law or sister-in-law 17 %
Average length of an affair 2 years
Percentage of marriages that last after an affair has been admitted to or discovered 31 %
Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught 74 %
Percentage of women who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught 68 %
Percent of children who are the product of infidelity 3 %
This is being discussed like people with doubts about their
partner's fidelity are crazy tinfoil hat wearing conspiracy theorists.
I understand the desire to see it that way, but it's just not the reality.
People cheat, alot of people cheat.
Research Date: 1.1.2014
Marriage Infidelity Statistics Data
Percent of marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional 41 %
Percent of men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they’ve had 57 %
Percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they’ve had 54 %
Percent of married men who have strayed at least once during their married lives 22 %
Percent of married women who have strayed at least once during their married lives 14 %
Percentage of men and women who admit to having an affair with a co-worker 36 %
Percentage of men and women who admit to infidelity on business trips 35%
Percentage of men and women who admit to infidelity with a brother-in-law or sister-in-law 17 %
Average length of an affair 2 years
Percentage of marriages that last after an affair has been admitted to or discovered 31 %
Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught 74 %
Percentage of women who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught 68 %
Percent of children who are the product of infidelity 3 %
This is being discussed like people with doubts about their
partner's fidelity are crazy tinfoil hat wearing conspiracy theorists.
I understand the desire to see it that way, but it's just not the reality.
People cheat, alot of people cheat.
Those are some sobering stats! Thanks for sharing.
CasualCarol: Those are some sobering stats! Thanks for sharing.
I wouldn't hang my hat on them.
They're the first link I hit when I googled infidelity stats.
I'm mostly trying to offer some balance to the conversation.
Not many will be willing to admit to peeking, for fear of being looked on poorly. Similarly not many will admit to having discovered something when they did look. Being cheated on is a little embarrassing for some, there's fears of being seen as having been inadequate in some way.
All in it's just not a well represented group.
jac379: Is there an argument for not behaving in certain (questionable) ways in front of kids to prove that it's right to upset them by splitting up the family? I'm thinking damage limitation here and who exactly benefits most from the truth at any means.
Are we asking the children to hack the other parent's email account now? I don't imagine it's the sort of activity one would involve the children in. Any one raised by a parent who would involve them in that is going to have a lot of things to sort out as adults, hacking mommy's email account for daddy is going to be a grain of sand on a very large beach.
Ocee102: Are we asking the children to hack the other parent's email account now? I don't imagine it's the sort of activity one would involve the children in. Any one raised by a parent who would involve them in that is going to have a lot of things to sort out as adults, hacking mommy's email account for daddy is going to be a grain of sand on a very large beach.
No, not at all.
I'm talking about kids witnessing their parents going through the breakdown of their relationship.
If snooping is witnessed, or snooping related conflict is witnessed, what does that do to the kids?
In terms of the just war analogy, is witnessing an emotional assault less damaging, or not damaging at all as compared with kids witnessing domestic violence?
Is it possible to justify snooping as defending children's needs?
jac379: I'm talking about kids witnessing their parents going through the breakdown of their relationship.
If snooping is witnessed, or snooping related conflict is witnessed, what does that do to the kids?
Is it possible to justify snooping as defending children's needs?
If snooping is witnessed, or snooping related conflict is witnessed, what does that do to the kids?
Is it possible to justify snooping as defending children's needs?
If something is found, the cheating debate will end.
It is possible to justify acquiring facts where they're reasonably available when making decision about the future of their family structure. I'd characterize it as effortless.
Ocee102: If something is found, the cheating debate will end.
It is possible to justify acquiring facts where they're reasonably available when making decision about the future of their family structure. I'd characterize it as effortless.
It is possible to justify acquiring facts where they're reasonably available when making decision about the future of their family structure. I'd characterize it as effortless.
Okay, I'm struggling to conceptualise that situation.
I'm also comparing that type of conflictual breakdown with the kind of stuff my daughter witnessed between me and her father. I was very honest with her about what was going on at times, particularly in terms of going through the family court system. In retrospect, I think perhaps it burdened her and she might have benefited from a bit of secrecy and lying on my part.
Never have and never will invade someone's privacy
If I have suspicions that he is cheating I will confront him
I was alone in his house when he went to work and had an opportunity to go through his dresser and his computer. Why would I do that to the man I love? Why not just ask him what I want to know. I did just that.
Unacceptable to invade someone's privacy unless he/she is on their deathbed and you need to notify their family of the situation
If I have suspicions that he is cheating I will confront him
I was alone in his house when he went to work and had an opportunity to go through his dresser and his computer. Why would I do that to the man I love? Why not just ask him what I want to know. I did just that.
Unacceptable to invade someone's privacy unless he/she is on their deathbed and you need to notify their family of the situation
About_Blank: Just been listening to a very interesting radio article on trust issues, and this was on the discussion...[newstalk 106 - henry mc'kean saturday morning show]...
If you had suspicions, would you check up on your partner and/or confront, and for the 'opposition', would you fess up before it got to being found out or call off the afair/bit on the side...
If you had suspicions, would you check up on your partner and/or confront, and for the 'opposition', would you fess up before it got to being found out or call off the afair/bit on the side...
no. and no. there are no justifiable reason to check a partners E-mail or or anything else.....
if i have a doubt, i will ask. no games, or idiotic retaliation.
No.
No. Totally unethical and demeaning to all concerned.
Ocee102: If something is found, the cheating debate will end.
It is possible to justify acquiring facts where they're reasonably available when making decision about the future of their family structure. I'd characterize it as effortless.
It is possible to justify acquiring facts where they're reasonably available when making decision about the future of their family structure. I'd characterize it as effortless.
Having just suggested to Life on the cheating thread to let go of her moral indignation and 'them's the rules' attitude to find her answers, I now find myself eating a bit of self-inflicted humble pie.
I can begin to conceptualise the human story behind the moral transgression.
You said here you'd 'characterise it as effortless'. I imagine that confirming your partner is cheating and facing the prospect of losing the children you've raised is not as effortless as the mere physical act of having a sneaky rummage in someone's handbag.
Merriweather: No.. I would rather not know.. much easier that way..
nice nice dearI would check it right in front of him. I do not like being sneaky.
Glengirl: Absolutely not!!!!
There wouldn't be any need to anyway because if I didn't trust him, the relationship is already over.
There wouldn't be any need to anyway because if I didn't trust him, the relationship is already over.
Spot on.
I hope the men on here - ones not interested indating women way beneath them - understand that the reason why women so publicly talk of trust is because privately they're turned on by jealousy. By speaking of trust they are trying to compensate for an inherent susceptibility to the kind of men that make them jealous(which are often cheaters), and how they will endlessly forgive these men.
Half the reason that I'm on Cs is because I thought I was doing my ex girlfriend a favor by checking her texts after she fell asleep because she saidd that she was texting her brother "David"....She wasn't lying that she was texting "David", but it wasnt her brother, it was a barman we both knew...sweet nothings between the both of them..So that was my proof that she was playing around behind my back.
If you need proof then by all means check. If you find nothing, then there was no reason to worry in the first place.....
Better to find out sooner rather than later....my episode was after a 13 year relationship....so cheaters, let go of the person that you are cheating on, if you have any feelings towards them. Its only right.
If you need proof then by all means check. If you find nothing, then there was no reason to worry in the first place.....
Better to find out sooner rather than later....my episode was after a 13 year relationship....so cheaters, let go of the person that you are cheating on, if you have any feelings towards them. Its only right.
About_Blank: Just been listening to a very interesting radio article on trust issues, and this was on the discussion...[newstalk 106 - henry mc'kean saturday morning show]...
If you had suspicions, would you check up on your partner and/or confront, and for the 'opposition', would you fess up before it got to being found out or call off the afair/bit on the side...
If you are paying attention usually, as the song goes, they can't hide their lying eyes. Succinctly, I believe that if you have those suspicions, right or not, the relationship is failing, anyhow. So, fish, or cut bait, or return to harbor. Stagnant stinks. JMOIf you had suspicions, would you check up on your partner and/or confront, and for the 'opposition', would you fess up before it got to being found out or call off the afair/bit on the side...
Obstinance_Works: I hope the men on here - ones not interested indating women way beneath them - understand that the reason why women so publicly talk of trust is because privately they're turned on by jealousy. By speaking of trust they are trying to compensate for an inherent susceptibility to the kind of men that make them jealous(which are often cheaters), and how they will endlessly forgive these men.
Wrong Rumples.
You got this wrong. It's not even an age-gap difference of view,l which is what a attribute sometimes to the differences of opinion between you and I regarding male-female dynamics.
I have been involved in 4 serious relationships in my life.
2 of those men were not faithful to me, one of them was my fiance when I was 27. The other, my last serious relationship two and a half years ago.
Neither of them were given a 2nd chance, although last serious relationship comes around every few months or so to test my resolve. He doesn't understand it's not about resolve, but that he broke Us and I can't ever trust him again.
Obstinance_Works: I hope the men on here - ones not interested indating women way beneath them - understand that the reason why women so publicly talk of trust is because privately they're turned on by jealousy. By speaking of trust they are trying to compensate for an inherent susceptibility to the kind of men that make them jealous(which are often cheaters), and how they will endlessly forgive these men.
Another crock of **it ...
inherent susceptibility? lmao
CasualCarol: Another crock of **it ...
inherent susceptibility? lmao
try to be patient with him. He's a nice enough guy, just misguided. It's almost legion!inherent susceptibility? lmao
Obstinance_Works: I hope the men on here - ones not interested indating women way beneath them - understand that the reason why women so publicly talk of trust is because privately they're turned on by jealousy. By speaking of trust they are trying to compensate for an inherent susceptibility to the kind of men that make them jealous(which are often cheaters), and how they will endlessly forgive these men.
Ah, you have much to learn and a long way to go...patience young grasshopper.
2intrigued: Ah, you have much to learn and a long way to go...patience young grasshopper.
Hi cutierohaan: Hi cutie
Hiya pumpkin seed.
i think there's only two choices... love or fear.
love is trust.
love is trust.
If you're in a committed long-term relationship there should be nothing nefarious or underhanded about this. I mean if you're married, have joint $$$ ventures like owning a house, share mutual friends, and have common interests, then why would it be necessary to keep such secrets from one another? If you have children most of the communication with the school is through e-mails. I guess it depends if the basis of your relationship is built on mutual trust and common respect for each other.
If you are just entering a relationship then my answer would be NO, respecting their undisclosed secrets and privacy is a must in building trust.
If a significant other suddenly found it necessary to change passwords, get a disposable phone, and started being secretive or evasive ... then I would certainly have questions.
If you are just entering a relationship then my answer would be NO, respecting their undisclosed secrets and privacy is a must in building trust.
If a significant other suddenly found it necessary to change passwords, get a disposable phone, and started being secretive or evasive ... then I would certainly have questions.
No I would not.
More Threads
Sleepy Don!
men's perspective towards women
Karen McDougal - Playmate Model will testify in Hush Money Trial
More Proof The GOP is a Criminal Organization
Unions support Democrats!
The weird and the random facts around the world
the way you look
Happy Birthday MysteriousGirl80
The Best of the GOP
Ladies
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
Related Forums
- Sleepy Don!
- men's perspective towards women
- Karen McDougal - Playmate Model will testify in Hush Money Trial
- More Proof The GOP is a Criminal Organization
- Unions support Democrats!
- The weird and the random facts around the world
- the way you look
- Happy Birthday MysteriousGirl80
- The Best of the GOP
- Ladies
Were talking about looking in a sock drawer to be sure we're right
to split a family.
analogy
?'nal?d?i/
noun
noun: analogy; plural noun: analogies
1.
a comparison between one thing and another, typically for the purpose of explanation or clarification.