What advice would YOU give my daughter? (68)
Len05:
And i'll say this in defense. sometimes a bit of love is better then no love.
And i'll say this in defense. sometimes a bit of love is better then no love.
True 'nuff. She IS happy!
VivianLee: That's very true, especially as I have no idea myself whether she's right and this is different for him. She could be.
Trust your first impression here. It is a warning sign, if he lies all the time. In my opinion that is a problem. It is often linked to a person who will wreak havoc in a persons' life.
Look up information on Compulsive Lying Disorder is frequently confused with pathological lying, but it’s important to recognize the difference between the two. Compulsive liars engage in dishonesty because it is their automatic response to questions and situations, while pathological liars do so in order to manipulate other people and achieve their goals with complete disregard for the feelings of others. However, both compulsive and pathological lying is associated with antisocial personality disorder, more commonly known as “psychopathic behavior”.
VivianLee: This parenting thing should definitely come with a manual
My mother used to tell me that parenting is on the job training.She wasn't lying.
JeanKimberley: Trust your first impression here. It is a warning sign, if he lies all the time. In my opinion that is a problem. It is often linked to a person who will wreak havoc in a persons' life.
Look up information on Compulsive Lying Disorder is frequently confused with pathological lying, but it’s important to recognize the difference between the two. Compulsive liars engage in dishonesty because it is their automatic response to questions and situations, while pathological liars do so in order to manipulate other people and achieve their goals with complete disregard for the feelings of others. However, both compulsive and pathological lying is associated with antisocial personality disorder, more commonly known as “psychopathic behavior”.
Look up information on Compulsive Lying Disorder is frequently confused with pathological lying, but it’s important to recognize the difference between the two. Compulsive liars engage in dishonesty because it is their automatic response to questions and situations, while pathological liars do so in order to manipulate other people and achieve their goals with complete disregard for the feelings of others. However, both compulsive and pathological lying is associated with antisocial personality disorder, more commonly known as “psychopathic behavior”.
People lie:
Because they behave badly but want to still 'look good' - as with the politician who has an affair or cheats on his expense account, then lies in an attempt to cover it up (Westminster, anyone?).
To genuinely save someone else's feelings.
To control other people. People may lie about how much power/status they have and then threaten people with that fictitious power and influence.
For self-aggrandizement in order to make themselves appear wonderful, especially gifted, more interesting, or exciting - either through a sense of inadequacy or overly high self-esteem.
Through sheer force of habit - "Lying is as easy as breathing for me!"
- See more at:
JeanKimberley: Trust your first impression here. It is a warning sign, if he lies all the time. In my opinion that is a problem. It is often linked to a person who will wreak havoc in a persons' life.
Look up information on Compulsive Lying Disorder is frequently confused with pathological lying, but it’s important to recognize the difference between the two. Compulsive liars engage in dishonesty because it is their automatic response to questions and situations, while pathological liars do so in order to manipulate other people and achieve their goals with complete disregard for the feelings of others. However, both compulsive and pathological lying is associated with antisocial personality disorder, more commonly known as “psychopathic behavior”.
Look up information on Compulsive Lying Disorder is frequently confused with pathological lying, but it’s important to recognize the difference between the two. Compulsive liars engage in dishonesty because it is their automatic response to questions and situations, while pathological liars do so in order to manipulate other people and achieve their goals with complete disregard for the feelings of others. However, both compulsive and pathological lying is associated with antisocial personality disorder, more commonly known as “psychopathic behavior”.
Jean the pathological liar is what my former sis in law is.But to me a liar is a liar.
Understand that you’ll never get a consistent story when you talk with a pathological liar.
Keep in mind that pathological liars typically exaggerate everything they tell you so take their stories with a grain of salt.
An individual who lies habitually will generally lose the ability to differentiate lies from reality. He or she will believe the lies to be the truth - making confronting a pathological liar on their lies nearly impossible.
"Mythomaniac", "compulsive liar", "habitual liar" or "chronic liar" are other names used for a pathological liar.
Someone who consistently lies to you is a form of disrespect––not someone you want to trust or consider to be a true friend.
As a former pathological liar, it becomes very difficult to control. Most responses are quick and reflexive, although mostly fabricated. Even compulsive liars have tells that give the lie away, get your friends to ask the liar a number of test questions to discern their tell. Then call the liar out every time he's caught in a lie. Eventually the liar may start calling out his own lies right after he tells them. Remember these people generally have low self esteem, so if they're caught in a lie a few times then it will deter them from lying.
Keep in mind that pathological liars typically exaggerate everything they tell you so take their stories with a grain of salt.
An individual who lies habitually will generally lose the ability to differentiate lies from reality. He or she will believe the lies to be the truth - making confronting a pathological liar on their lies nearly impossible.
"Mythomaniac", "compulsive liar", "habitual liar" or "chronic liar" are other names used for a pathological liar.
Someone who consistently lies to you is a form of disrespect––not someone you want to trust or consider to be a true friend.
As a former pathological liar, it becomes very difficult to control. Most responses are quick and reflexive, although mostly fabricated. Even compulsive liars have tells that give the lie away, get your friends to ask the liar a number of test questions to discern their tell. Then call the liar out every time he's caught in a lie. Eventually the liar may start calling out his own lies right after he tells them. Remember these people generally have low self esteem, so if they're caught in a lie a few times then it will deter them from lying.
If you care about the person, remind them often that they don't have to pretend to be perfect. Point out a few of your own awesome screw ups and failures in life.
Most successful people know how to make their lies work throughout their lives. Every day they begin with a new lie and eventually their lies kill their conscience and life becomes a dream.
Try not to completely ignore or 'unfriend' a chronic liar, their problem is just liked any other, and it can become very lonely not having any friends, and even lead to anxiety, and depression.
Most successful people know how to make their lies work throughout their lives. Every day they begin with a new lie and eventually their lies kill their conscience and life becomes a dream.
Try not to completely ignore or 'unfriend' a chronic liar, their problem is just liked any other, and it can become very lonely not having any friends, and even lead to anxiety, and depression.
JeanKimberley: Understand that you’ll never get a consistent story when you talk with a pathological liar.
Keep in mind that pathological liars typically exaggerate everything they tell you so take their stories with a grain of salt.
An individual who lies habitually will generally lose the ability to differentiate lies from reality. He or she will believe the lies to be the truth - making confronting a pathological liar on their lies nearly impossible.
"Mythomaniac", "compulsive liar", "habitual liar" or "chronic liar" are other names used for a pathological liar.
Someone who consistently lies to you is a form of disrespect––not someone you want to trust or consider to be a true friend.
As a former pathological liar, it becomes very difficult to control. Most responses are quick and reflexive, although mostly fabricated. Even compulsive liars have tells that give the lie away, get your friends to ask the liar a number of test questions to discern their tell. Then call the liar out every time he's caught in a lie. Eventually the liar may start calling out his own lies right after he tells them. Remember these people generally have low self esteem, so if they're caught in a lie a few times then it will deter them from lying.
Keep in mind that pathological liars typically exaggerate everything they tell you so take their stories with a grain of salt.
An individual who lies habitually will generally lose the ability to differentiate lies from reality. He or she will believe the lies to be the truth - making confronting a pathological liar on their lies nearly impossible.
"Mythomaniac", "compulsive liar", "habitual liar" or "chronic liar" are other names used for a pathological liar.
Someone who consistently lies to you is a form of disrespect––not someone you want to trust or consider to be a true friend.
As a former pathological liar, it becomes very difficult to control. Most responses are quick and reflexive, although mostly fabricated. Even compulsive liars have tells that give the lie away, get your friends to ask the liar a number of test questions to discern their tell. Then call the liar out every time he's caught in a lie. Eventually the liar may start calling out his own lies right after he tells them. Remember these people generally have low self esteem, so if they're caught in a lie a few times then it will deter them from lying.
This is an excerpt from a website not my words.... not that I haven't lied in my life - but I do try to speak the truth -
Ccincy: Jean the pathological liar is what my former sis in law is.But to me a liar is a liar.
They sure can wreak havoc in the family, right?
Len05: :-D
that is the mothers fault.
you should produce them with a guide manual, and matching shoes, a nice dress, maybe a baby brush.
Why can't giving birth be more like unpacking a barbie box. :-D
that is the mothers fault.
you should produce them with a guide manual, and matching shoes, a nice dress, maybe a baby brush.
Why can't giving birth be more like unpacking a barbie box. :-D
Yeah, well usually there is no
ouch!
VivianLee: My daughter met this guy online, and they hit it off bigtime, she’s really happy. 2 things I don’t like. He has NO friends, because he sees men as competition, and women as flirts. And he lies. All the time. He’s a crap liar, she can always tell, but mostly lets it go. She says their relationship is unique, and he’s getting better all the time as he learns to trust her. Better at lying?
She's getting cross with me. She says this is special and I should trust her judgement.
Special? I think he’s a dud and she should get out before they get too serious. Should I shut up and let her learn the hard way?
She's getting cross with me. She says this is special and I should trust her judgement.
Special? I think he’s a dud and she should get out before they get too serious. Should I shut up and let her learn the hard way?
Take it easy and let her be, but keep watching both.
Also I forgot to say, I would not give advice to your daughter, I would give advice to you because your daughter is not looking for advice.
JeanKimberley: However, both compulsive and pathological lying is associated with antisocial personality disorder, more commonly known as “psychopathic behavior”.
To be fair, the lying is more by omission - he just keeps quiet. For eg he is being flirted with by a colleague who doesn't know he is in a relationship because, he says, it is none of her business. That DOES bug my daughter. Even though it isn't strictly speaking a lie.
JeanKimberley: Also I forgot to say, I would not give advice to your daughter, I would give advice to you because your daughter is not looking for advice.
Ha, good point. Actually she did ask. I over-reacted, I think. Damn.
bungallow55: Take it easy and let her be, but keep watching both.
watching ...online today!VivianLee: watching ...
yer......watching.....and applie vasaline on moving parts.....
VivianLee: watching ...
not like that
like thissilverwolf109: I hate to say it, but sometimes they have to learn the hard way, but when it happens, forget the "I told you so". It will be time to talk to her and help he rtrough it so she can avoid the pitfall of becoming attracted to nothing but trash.
She is usually so sensible, I'm pretty sure this is a one-off.
is very hard when we see from afar what our children can not see. the advice is free, full of the best Intention but don´t work.
is when all you can do is be strong and be there. while your daughter follow the same pattern of people nothing will change. you will always be her mother. live fully!,we all lived trial and error once.. she must learn at some point I think..
is when all you can do is be strong and be there. while your daughter follow the same pattern of people nothing will change. you will always be her mother. live fully!,we all lived trial and error once.. she must learn at some point I think..
minnie50: is very hard when we see from afar what our children can not see. the advice is free, full of the best Intention but don´t work.
is when all you can do is be strong and be there. while your daughter follow the same pattern of people nothing will change. you will always be her mother. live fully!,we all lived trial and error once.. she must learn at some point I think..
is when all you can do is be strong and be there. while your daughter follow the same pattern of people nothing will change. you will always be her mother. live fully!,we all lived trial and error once.. she must learn at some point I think..
Thanks, Minnie. Live and learn, yes.
online today!truheart1941: yer......watching.....and applie vasaline on moving parts.....
like arms/legs....if sitting out in the cold.....and a flask of tea.......
well I think you need to stop bothering her I have 5 kids and they wont listen and when you think about answer this question would you listen to your mam at 28 its a no and is proper its part of growing up when you were her age you made mistakes we all do allow them make them its okay if you keep on about that chap you will just make a big mistake and if it does not last she wont even trust you might even blame you stand back that's my thinking
To beware of mashed potatoes 
Your daughter had 2 long term relationships that didn't work out because there was something missing there for her.
She has now met somebody totally different, and is enjoying it.
She is aware of his faults, and has still chosen to be with him in spite of them.
This is her choice, and she has made it.
Step back and let her get on with the relationship.
Just let her know that you are there for her whichever way it goes.
She has now met somebody totally different, and is enjoying it.
She is aware of his faults, and has still chosen to be with him in spite of them.
This is her choice, and she has made it.
Step back and let her get on with the relationship.
Just let her know that you are there for her whichever way it goes.
mollybaby: Your daughter had 2 long term relationships that didn't work out because there was something missing there for her.
She has now met somebody totally different, and is enjoying it.
She is aware of his faults, and has still chosen to be with him in spite of them.
This is her choice, and she has made it.
Step back and let her get on with the relationship.
Just let her know that you are there for her whichever way it goes.
She has now met somebody totally different, and is enjoying it.
She is aware of his faults, and has still chosen to be with him in spite of them.
This is her choice, and she has made it.
Step back and let her get on with the relationship.
Just let her know that you are there for her whichever way it goes.
The fascination of the unknown. And all women believe they can be the one to change a man. Yes, you're right.
johnjjm: well I think you need to stop bothering her I have 5 kids and they wont listen and when you think about answer this question would you listen to your mam at 28 its a no and is proper its part of growing up when you were her age you made mistakes we all do allow them make them its okay if you keep on about that chap you will just make a big mistake and if it does not last she wont even trust you might even blame you stand back that's my thinking
I have stopped bugging her about him, this poll was just to see what advice she should have been given. Everyone has agreed she is entitled to follow it through and if it doesn't work out, to find that out for herself.
I'm grateful.
VivianLee: My daughter met this guy online, and they hit it off bigtime, she’s really happy. 2 things I don’t like. He has NO friends, because he sees men as competition, and women as flirts. And he lies. All the time. He’s a crap liar, she can always tell, but mostly lets it go. She says their relationship is unique, and he’s getting better all the time as he learns to trust her. Better at lying?
She's getting cross with me. She says this is special and I should trust her judgement.
Special? I think he’s a dud and she should get out before they get too serious. Should I shut up and let her learn the hard way?
So u will be the grandma of the kids of a Liar ? She's getting cross with me. She says this is special and I should trust her judgement.
Special? I think he’s a dud and she should get out before they get too serious. Should I shut up and let her learn the hard way?
Well viv if your anything like me I have to speak my mind but Id say well it's your choice and I've said what I think so best luck with it,
No one likes to be told something they don't want to hear and she is smitten with the guy,
You have done your bit by giving your opinion when you just care for her but really she has to find out for herself and for her to learn to trust her own judgment and form her own opinion,
It's part of growing,
I think all you can do as a mother is be there for her and as previous poster said don't tell her I told you so,
We all have to learn for ourselves and people come into our lives to learn from whether its positive or negative,
She is 28 and may distance from you if you don't allow her to learn for herself ,,if the man was a threat to her as in danger then I would intervene or if he was treating her in an abusive way .
No one likes to be told something they don't want to hear and she is smitten with the guy,
You have done your bit by giving your opinion when you just care for her but really she has to find out for herself and for her to learn to trust her own judgment and form her own opinion,
It's part of growing,
I think all you can do as a mother is be there for her and as previous poster said don't tell her I told you so,
We all have to learn for ourselves and people come into our lives to learn from whether its positive or negative,
She is 28 and may distance from you if you don't allow her to learn for herself ,,if the man was a threat to her as in danger then I would intervene or if he was treating her in an abusive way .
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:-D
that is the mothers fault.
you should produce them with a guide manual, and matching shoes, a nice dress, maybe a baby brush.
Why can't giving birth be more like unpacking a barbie box. :-D