If you did not have to pay child support would you? ( Archived) (56)

What is sad ,is that I have seen women live off the child support and letting the children have very little. One woman would leave her three kids in the car....go in a cafe,have ice cream while her kids were in the heat. She would dress fancy and her kids had shoes and clothes falling off their bodies.

She needs to have her....her.... ...sewed shut!

No children, so no child support...But I would have paid it if children were the case.

zee

Ah, but, if he wants to see his son, would you not agree to that?

Because child support and contact are two very different things.

If, he was to see his son, then it may bring back the reality of responsibility.

Sometimes, when we want something, or to make a person face up to something, some reverse pshycology is required.

Like walking a drunk person home, make them feel you are more drunk than they are, you will get them home quicker.

If you are witholding contact because he has not paid any money, that in the UK, would not qualify as a reason to withold contact.

Sometimes people cannot pay, that is no reason for a child to be without a father.

I am not criticising you at all, I am making an observation.

I have seen many families torn apart because of child support payments.

All parents should pay for their children, it should be voluntary, any decent parent would do that without having to have a judge tell them.

He may think you are coping, without money, are there not laws where you are, such as an attachment of earnings?

Ten years is a long time.

He may have changed, he may want to have a relationship with his son.

thats disgustingthat someone could do that i always put my sons needs before my own i dont have a car so i can afford to send my son to a private school so he gets a good education i wear seconhand clothes he wears brand new stuff thats what parents are ment to do in my book put the child first.

speaking of folks that do
not pay...

i was blessed to raise my two children alone...

we never received monetary or emotional support from their mother...

now they are adults
she would like to build a relationship with them..

interesting dynamic...

Message to divorced/separated men who are paying child support...
In terms of costs, you should see it in this way:

Where else are you going to get a person to live in, look after your children 24/7, feed them, wash/iron their clothes, do their homework with them, bus them around, raise them, teach them, care for them when they're sick, love them, .....at that price??????

...if you tried to hire that sort of service on the open market, it would cost you 3 times as much...

so count yourself very lucky...you are getting a very good deal.

if she were my mother i would tell her to go f*** herself thats puting it nicely.
__________________________________________________________________

my son .. is of that mind set...

my daughter... wants her mom...
i fell a bit short on the mom side of the parenting...

the path they each choose is theirs..
whats around the corner...?
makes it an adventure

I've never had kids but do believe you take care of your own no matter the situation.

Really depends on what this question is about, be more clear.

the only time I can think of, that you might not have to pay it, is if the kid isn't yours.

But if you mean that the children are yours, and you don't pay or don't want to pay

Im told them to take it, my daughter is the world to me.
and money isnt an option when it comes to her.
on top of maintinence I buy her clothes, school uniform and put £50 a month in to her trust to fund her uni/collage
it a good investment into her future.
and my well being in old age.

and I would challange any man to justifie any regret in paying for his offspring.

I would pay child support. My parents are divorced, and I know that my father did not want to pay support, and did whatever he could to get out of it. I now have no respect for my father. Now my brother is trying to get out of paying child support. I think my brother is a scumbag as well.

My son is 9 and my daughter is 4 and I never get child support. My kids don't know their dad, I took them last Thanksgiving to meet their fathers for the first time in 6 years/4years. Not because I wanted to, but my kids wanted to know who they were.

While it would make life a lot easier to get support, its really not worth my time and energy to try and fight them over it. Besides I don't want to influence the way my children think of their fathers, and a court battle wouldn't be a good way for them to get to know them.

Both times I was pregnant when I left, so my kids don't know the crap that went on in my relationships( got cheated on both times I was pregnant...) Both of them now have a son each living with them, and I wouldn't want to take them away from their families that they actually choose to acknowledge. That wouldn't be fair to their other kids. Though being completely ignored by their father is not really fair to my kids, at least that is their fathers choice and I don't have to feel guilty about it. Having them thrown in jail and taken from their families would just make me feel bad especially since one is a single father now and his son would have nobody.

Yes the non custodial parent- dad or mom- should be happy to help out with their child, this is just the right thing to do, but sometimes that's not how it works out, and you can either get the courts involved, or just let it go and do the best you can for your kids. I for one give all I have for my kids. They are my life, and I do without a lot of things that I want so that my kids can have nice clothes, computers, toys, video games, a nice home, and things that I wouldn't be able to provide them if I were to go and buy nice new clothes or a new car or whatever for myself. This is nothing special I don't think, just something that any parent should do for their child, without having to be told to do so by some judge.

I always say some people just shouldn't be allowed to procreate, and if you are the kind of person to ignore the fact you have a kid, or have to be forced to pay support, maybe you should go and have yourself fixed so you don't have any more kids.

I left my ex just over 2 years ago..Our youngest daughter is 15 and with me full time...I do not ask him for any child support, figured I supported our 2 daughter's all the years we were together why ask for money now...

Correct, but the custodial parent can spend the money on anything they chose. If my ex wanted a new car, clothes for herself, hair, makeup, nails, vacations, even a new house, all can be funded with the child support under the guise of "I need these things which in turn benefits my child." I know of one case where the father agreed to pay for the horses and related expenses for his daughter, OK good right? Then when his ex got a new boyfriend, the father had to pay for the new boyfriends truck (to pull the new horse trailer), along with everything for the new boyfriend as long as it was attached to the horse issue.

I would pay support yes. My husband paid me support for a while, recently he stopped as he bought a Wii and basically he's a very selfish man who works fulltime but is 26, living at home, and spends all his earnings on himself (stuff he doesn't need.) He never cared to send his son a birthday or christmas present. He had the attitude anyway "I wont see him again so I wont pay" (He's in the USA, me and my son in Canada...he could visit his son here but he CHOOSES not to). I just hope if and when he ever tries to see my kid as he grows up he'll say F* you. I don't think unpaying, non-responsible parents DESERVE to see their child. They made their choice. Can't have everything.

sorry to disappoint you, but it wont be laugh out of court, he will have the right to see his own son... its law!!!

and I'm not saying this cause I'm a male, I'm telling this, cause i have been through family court...

the only way, this will not happen if you can prove to the courts, that he is a unfit father... other then that,,, these is not much you can do about it... sorry about that!!

I pay 800 dollars to one ex and 400 to the other. I have spent 70,000 dollars over the past years to ensure my rights to have access to my children and regardless of the outcome (unanimously in favour of regular access) my exes follw the plan outlined by the courts until a few months pass and then I have to engage the courts again and again. I cannot call or even check their school records because they just refuse. Telling the schools without any documetation that they are the sole parent seems to work even when I bring in the court papers.
My mother died last year and my first ex has decided that even though it has been almost eight years she is entitled to the house. It has been thrown out of court multiple times already but she returns with a new direction each time. Now it is that the house is entitled to our children but in her care. Soon to be at a court near me for the low low cost of about 20,000 dollars.
When they decide to mutually attack me (odd that they never knew each other before but now party together all the time) they call the FRO (Family Responsibility Office) and report non-payments which freezes my bank accounts instantly. Even though all payments are through them. Any report is treated this way automatically even when it is clearly impossible. My payments to them come off of my cheques before I see a single cent. Three months of this early last year had me at a point where I could not even afford to eat. Then I get the typical phone calls laughing and explaining that they will not rest until I am dead and buried. My youngest son was horrified to see me one day on the street because his mother had told him that I died. He was cring uncontrollably in my arms and it damn near killed me.
Both of my exes have given up working for welfare. The first one and her boyfriend were arrested for half a million dollars worth of drugs, guns and other issues. He took the fall and went to jail for three months. Last year they vacationed in the US and Mexico, no border issues no nothing. I know people who have done three months for half an ounce of pot and no priors and to this day have criminal records that keep them tightly inside our Canadian borders.
The new ploy which has pushed my completely away is the FRO though as whenever I regain access through the courts they get involved (still have not gained a single penny back from the almost 15,000 dollars they froze). When my money is gone I cannot afford to feed myself so how could I in any good faith accept my children for a week with no food? It works let me tell you and I am done. I give up. In Canada a welfare lawyer is virtually undefeatable as the government does not want to pay for the woman and the child alone so they always get money from the man and even with all the issues on the mother's sides with drugs (both of them now) money talks in court here. Just keep paying and you win. I cannot compete with a drug dealer's salary no matter how hard I work.
I am leaving this country not to avoid payments but to free myself from all the headaches of these two hateful women. Oddly I have not spoken to the first in almost 7 years and the second in 3 yet somehow I am some sort of fisture in their imaginations.
I should have just killed the first one, I would be getting out of jail in the next few years and never would have met the other one. But then again I could never hurt the mother's of our children no matter what they do. It's why I gotta go.

this is a good point mate, its how i bring up my son, i am there to help him, and teach him "right" from "wrong" but I always allow him to make his decisions in his life, in what he wants to do about problem solving, which isn't a lot being only 5 going on 6...

I'll do it, for 5 minutes.