CestMero - lol! We all have those moments and times. I'm grateful I have a bed to put sheets on, but do kick myself if I don't put sheets on the bed as soon as I take the other ones off. Inevitably it's a night when I'm really tired and go into the bedroom and .... well, you know how it is.
Focussing on hate only brings more of what you hate, and is usually a reflection of what one hates in themselves. A very wise counsellor once told me, what people say and do is about them and only them. I learned that she was absolutely correct.
He's lovely, Daniela! (You can call me Imp). How lovely that he's in a place that will take care of him for the rest of his days. I'm sure you will find others to help with his care as there are a lot of people that remember the joy a horse has brought to them, and repay the favour by caring for one such as Swan.
I'm sure he appreciates the care you give him, and in return, the healing you've received is incredible.
ChesneyChrist - that's the problem in disagreements between couples many times. They assume they know what the other is thinking and meaning, and in the heat of the moment, fail to actually listen to what the other person is trying to say, interrupt each other with more accusations of what they mean, and nothing gets resolved. Or, at least, it didn't in my marriage.
GG - My mother used to indulge in the silent treatment with my father - ugh! It's not only horrible for the partner, it's even worse for the kids, as they don't understand why. They just know the house is a tension filled battleground, and they have no idea why they're smack in the middle of it.
My ex used to yell, something I couldn't compete with, and then leave for hours to who knows where. Same thing as the silent treatment, as you never get to get your point across. He'd come back and absolutely would not discuss anything, acting like everything should be fine and the subject never brought up again.
I realized after many years, that we had the same fight over and over again, because the first one never got resolved. To this day, he accepts no responsibility in the breakdown of the marriage.
As someone mentioned, it's manipulation in one of it's cruelest forms. As the word 'narcissist' seems to be a favourite to label just about any behaviour these days, I don't use those labels. Many, many people are manipulative, as it's a behaviour we learn as children, without being narcissistic. Appropriate parenting doesn't let the child continue. I have often found that people that like to label are guilty of the very behaviour they're labelling others with, and why I know you're hesitant to use the term, GG.
Mercedes - considering how we communicate with our partners is usually verbally, that's a good thing!
I did write to my ex at times, in order to get across what I wanted to say without him yelling me down and walking out. However, verbally is how we usually communicate in person.
GG - true, knowing and understanding both your issues makes it far easier to avoid a disagreement in the first place, or at least to resolve them where one doesn't feel like a 'loser' or having to put themselves second all the time.
CestMero - apologies not necessary. The blog was written to spark thoughts and experiences, to perhaps offer a different perception of how we can make our next relationship, a success.
Biff - Excellent observation! I have to agree, those unwitting peeks into personal baggage cannot be unseen. Can you imagine having a custom's official pawing through your emotional baggage?
GG - then you undoubtedly know how greasy those chains are, and how it can be a challenge to get them back on. Glad I could take you on my ride - minus the greasy chain, of course. lol
Biff - my daughter attended pony club from the time she started until she was 20, (her instructor was an excellent trainer from Britain), and I devoured the books and lessons as well. I loved the cartoons of the Thelwell ponies - they remind me so much of my brat!
I totally agree with the quote regarding life being better from the back of a horse. Absolutely! I don't know who said it either, but they're right.
What exactly is BHSAI? British something something something Instructor I'm presuming? My daughter was never interested in attaining her teaching certificate, so stopped at her 'B' in pony club.
I hope the nostalgia evokes warm memories and not sadness.
Thanks, Miclee - I used to have one - I bought it in the Dominican Republic. What with several moves since then and being smushed in packing, I'm not sure it looks like anything to wear anymore!
Isn't it great to wake to such balmy weather? Did you go for a bike ride today? I will go this evening, as today has been spent buying potting soil and plants and planting some of my flowers.
Cervatillo - what a beautiful video! I love the icicles - fractals! I mentioned to Biff awhile ago that Spain is on my bucket list to visit. Ever since I had to do a book report on it in Grade 5, it's been a country that's fascinated me.
I love the steam in your video as well, that adds such an indication of how cold it is. Thanks for sharing your part of the world!
Biff - both! lol. I think storing emotional baggage an awesome idea. You could charge x dollars per month for storage fees, with no worries that you'd have too much traffic in and out. Once they unloaded it, you'd just collect the fees...
Biff - so true regarding the baggage! lol. I love your story regarding people that say they don't have any, while lugging the trunk behind them. Denial is a wonderful thing, isn't it?
I could probably use your storage facility, as room here is limited. I prefer to travel with a carry-on and depending on where I go and who I see dictates what I'll pack. It'd be great to take an empty carry-on and fill it while one's away. I've never been able to do that, though.
I love Mimi's meme! So true. Have you ever contacted those that say 'no baggage' to find out exactly what they mean? That's like saying 'no drama' - whereas we all have drama in our lives at some point.
Many people go from one relationship to another without ever owning up to their own responsibility for what went wrong in it, and repeat the same thing over and over again. One could wonder if 'no baggage' means, don't bring the stuff from your old relationship into this one, but every relationship will leave some kind of residual affect.
LadyImp Blog Comments (752)
RE: What's your pet hate?
CestMero - ooo la la! Flattery will get you everywhere.Very funny. I don't see a tongue sticking out emoji so here: