We've seen some of these before, but most of them remain as incontrovertible truths. I post them here for your edification, enlightenment and enjoyment...
01. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
02. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
03. Its always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
04. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
05. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
06. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
07. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
08. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
09. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force': It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!
Consider now, That bitter tale About the proverbial missing Horseshoe nail
Which brought about A kingdom's fall And matters to me Not at all!
Because I no longer Ride a horse (This means that I walk, of course!)
And I'm reminded When I walk That there's a big damn hole In my left sock!
I used to be amazed, (Now, I'm just amused!) I used to be confounded, (Now, I'm just confused!)
So many good folks up in arms - Loud, their voices shout! And here I am, lost on my front porch - (Once again, I've been left out!)
I've no idea what's going on (Not sure I want to know.) I've been more or less content To sit back and watch the show.
But it seems I've missed some episodes Of "Days of Our CS Lives" (It used to be all about People finding husbands and/or wives!)
SINGLES, CONNECTING! What a concept! (That's why I joined the site!) (And I connected with the single ONE Who keeps me warm at night!)
But then it became "He said/She said" And "You're stupid, but too damn dumb to know!" And for a while, I lost interest In "The Connecting Singles Show."
I didn't take part in the "hate threads" I kept to myself my political opines (In truth, my dyslexia was going wild From trying to read between the lines!)
I knew there were members who'd come and gone - Some were "good" - Others, maybe not so much Some were friends with whom I'll always Do my best to keep in touch!
I've always been a "minor character" The limelight suits me not! (I'm content to just occasionally be "comic relief" In the Connecting Singles plot!)
But now disgruntled former members Have started another site (Or two or three or maybe ten?) And they're saying the same things that they said here? Oh God! (Tell me - Where and When?!!)
I want to see what's being said! (Do I need to run and hide?) Or mayhap go and defend the honor Of myself and brand new bride?
I'm lost! I don't know what's going on - (Is it something in the air?) Wait! It just occurred to me - That, I REALLY JUST DON'T CARE!
Words are only what they say And (I've found this to be true!) They can only do the damage That we allow them to.
It's what we know about ourselves That really matters most. ('Course all I know is that I become confused When all the posing posters post.)
I'm lost on my own front porch! (It's where I type, you see.) Though my driveway still leads down the ridge (That much is real to me.)
But the "Days of Our CS Lives" episodes I've missed Leave me scratching my head in doubt Of the virtual world that so many folks Can't seem to live without...
Life, like breakfast, is what you make it (Mine is "Scrambled - with bacon on the side.") And the internet world is more condiment for me Than the place where I reside;
I use it simply to spice things up a bit - (I don't "live" here as a rule.) It's true that I enjoy it! But still, it's just another tool.
And now, the wind is stirring the trees a bit And, SUDDENLY, things are clear - I may be lost on my own front porch But, by God, I love it here
Where I can hold my brand new bride (She just gave me a kiss!) And know beyond a certainty That, truly, ignorance is bliss!
And "technically" Texas is still a "republic" - as is California - but since they were both granted entrance into the union, they (and the aforementioned "commonwealths") are governed by the federal government. So therefore they are not only "seen as states in the modern day" but, indeed, became states as soon as they entered the union.
(You might want to check the definition of "State" next time.) (Also, the term commonwealth... Aww, never mind, I know you meant well! )
Age matters in wines, cheeses, antiques, automobiles, animals and underwear. If you don't fit into any of those categories, you have nothing to worry about.
Me too, what Jackson said! (Although it should be noted that I suspect she also looks forward to your writing as a counterpoint to the inanities of living with yours truly! )
I want to be remembered as the world's greatest procrastinator! I want folks to say; "The Kansan was such a procrastinator that he even managed to put off dying for 150 years!"
Dill pickle juice and Tobasco sauce in beer. Smoked oysters dipped in 3-cheese Ranch dressing. Whiskey in my hazlenut coffee. And sardines fried up with scrambled eggs.
If I'm at a living history event, doing the Mountain man thing, and John Q. Public comes by while I'm making a meal then I'll deliberately make and eat something that'd make a buzzard puke.
Everyone is welcome and anything goes - Of course there are some exceptions, but - unlike rules - the exceptions are generally made up on the spot by the individuals who don't like playing by the rules.
CS is a great place! (As long as you remember not to take it too seriously.)
Consider my hand WAAAY up. My wife and I met here on CS. There have been many others, but the majority of them have since left the site. We remain because of the friends that we've made and because I like the ability to send her virtual flowers every morning.
I suppose that there are several who would think of me or "describe" me as being one of 'their' best friends - I generally try to be friendly, open and honest and I give freely of myself without considering recompence - and I gladly return the honors bestowed. As to my own personal closest friends, there are 4: My wife - without whom this world would again be colorless, tasteless and near meaningless. And 3 men - Two of whom I consider to be more like brothers than mere friends and one of which is like a son to me. And while I would literally "give the shirt off my back" for nearly anyone who is in need, for these four, if the need arose, I would happily sacrifice my own life.
But then I look at internet the same way I look at all modern conveniences; They're nice and they make things easier, but (and I speak from having spent a year and a half living in a one room shack, without running water and using candle lanterns for light) they're not really necessary. Try to take away my books, though, and you'll have one helluva' fight on your hands!
Bring the cat with you! He/she will be right at home with our menagerie!
Oh.... And the ribs were EXCELLENT! We've even got leftovers that I'm gonna' re-heat for lunch! MMMMM, mm!
Judy,
Tennessee and Florida aren't really all that far apart and I can move the canoe so there's room in the driveway! (Look forward to hearing from you, whenever you get the chance. )
Unfortunately, I think you'll find that there are nearly as many different answers as there are different men who cheat. And while I wish you luck in finding those answers, I'm afraid that I, personally, can't be of much help because I've never been able to figure it out either. Seems to me that any man who cheats or messes around on their partner really isn't much of a man. Hmmm... - Minor brainfart here - Could it be that they 'know' they're not much of a man and low self-esteem plays a part in it? Beats me, but again, I wish you luck in finding the answers...
Heck Robert, hop on your bike and haul your butt to Tennessee and we'll cook together! Who knows, you might even get to stop and meet some good folks along the way!
Well actually, YES, now that you mention it! I've got a hickory log that I need to reduce to chips for slow cooking beef (I've always preferred mesquite for pork) and since you have the ax handy... I don't pay very well, but I feed DAMN GOOD!
Shucks! And I'm just going out to put the 2nd batch on!
MMMMMMM... Lightly dusted with sea salt, garlic powder and celery flakes, then sloooow cooked and smoked to deep golden brown perfection.... Ahhhhh! I love this life!
...And smoked with Mesquite chips soaked in a mixture of apple juice and beer. I can smell them all the way from the back yard. Add some garlic mashed potatoes and some home canned green beans from the garden and a wonderful lady partner to share it all with and MMMMM - MM! Life just don't get any better than this!
Put another way - and maybe I'm over-simplifying things here - love and trust are completely inseparable; If you trust someone enough to love them, then it follows that you must love them enough to trust them.
I've been in a relationship where a person claimed to love me, but didn't trust me. I never gave her a reason NOT to trust me, but still she "checked up on me" constantly, through cell phone records, calls to friends and dispatchers and debit/credit card receipts! Ultimately, her insecurities and nearly insane jealousy caused me to end the relationship. (I've gotta' admit that I'm glad, because NOW I've found the one person in the world that I love and trust completely and she returns the love and trust tenfold! I love you J!)
For some reason, the old "Kilkenny Cats" limerick comes to mind:
There once was two cats from Kilkenny Each though there was one cat too many So they scratched and they fit And they clawed and they bit 'Til instead of two cats, there weren't any!
Naw, you're way off! C'mon! Surely you've heard the prayer that starts out "Our father who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name..." (At least that's the way my nephew said it starts!)
The_Kansan Forum Posts (3,395)
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I love you J!)
The Zen of Sarcasm...
We've seen some of these before, but most of them remain as incontrovertible truths. I post them here for your edification, enlightenment and enjoyment...01. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
02. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
03. Its always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
04. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
05. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
06. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
07. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car
payments.
08. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
09. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force': It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!