jampet Forum Posts (2,549)

RE: if he beat you while you were pregnant ?

no worries Jeff- I figured that.

RE: if he beat you while you were pregnant ?

it is so sad that some spoil relationships not just with themselves but with others ( talking about both male and female here).

I have never been abused, so have never entered into a relationship with the slightest thought in my mind that they could, potentially, do that. I see, however, that for people like you, that have experienced this awful thing, that it must be hard to see a person as only a kind loving person, but that every man is a potential beater.
My only suggestion is that you take things very slowly with a new guy- get to know him and also his friends, both male and female. I realise that there aren't always outward signs, but surely, if he has had an abusive past, someone must know about it. Terrible, I know to have to 'vet' partners, it is hard enough to meet someone without that added worry, but i do wish you luck. There are decent men out there- lots of them, I really hope you meet one.

I realise that men can also be abused

RE: If a man ask you to do something in bed and you refuse, but he keeps asking, do you

i answered- break up with him, but only if i had first told him my reasons for not wanting to do that.... could just be as simple as ' I just don't'. If he couldn't give me a rational reason why i was 'wrong' to feel that, or just didn't respect my reasons, then i would know that the relatinship had no future. there would be other areas where he wouldn't respect my feelings/ thoughts, and i can't be doing with that. I would expect the same for him

RE: So what is the greatest dilemma a woman can face?

now that sounds appealing!!!

Good luck Tamarin0 go for it- it may not work out- but who's to say it isn't the start of something magical

RE: What is the most intense sadness you have felt which was related to someone you didn't even know?

= oh i agree- health, as .robbie has learned, is our greatest asset, and we should be happy to have that

RE: What is the most intense sadness you have felt which was related to someone you didn't even know?

thank you - that means a lot:)

RE: What is the most intense sadness you have felt which was related to someone you didn't even know?

and the reason that i could not |( as an icu nurse,) work in a pediatric icu- i could not be so impartial as to dis-associate myself from the death of an infant- trust me-it is hard enough to do it for an adult- but for a baby- i just would be a wreck. we all know our own limits, and i know i get soooo attached to the 30/40/60-/80=90 year old patients i have that die, i just couldn't imagine how i wouldf feel if they were only days/months old

RE: What is the most intense sadness you have felt which was related to someone you didn't even know?

mine are more personal..#
first, i was pregnant, after 2 years of treatment for infertility- in the mall with my 4 day old son- and met the girl i had known had a stillbirth a year ago. my mum was over for me with the birth and with me in the mall. we met the girl, who was there, with balloons and explained to my mum that she was going to a party for Sean, because it was ;seans' birthday-

what i tried to tell my Mum through my tears, was that it should have been seans first 'birthday'- i realised that she would have given her left and right arms to be me( as i did when i was sooo tired , being woken many times during the night to breast feed my little boy)

another is also related to children, and for that i don't apologise.
again it was while i was being treated for the inability to have children, but had to listen ( while living in the USA) to the news that ( i think) 17 'babies' had been murdered by a gunman at dunblane . scotland- i had nieces and nephews of that age in schools less than 40 miles from there, and coukdn't begin to understand how those parents must feel, that their 6 year old had gone to school and been shot by a madman.

i still feel tears welling at the thought of what they went through, as i do for jamie Bulgers parents( uk posters will undrestand)

anything to do with suffering kids, gets me into a mess

RE: HOLIDAYS

)expecting some rain- maybe a little drizzle/ sleet/hail/wind/rain at christmas time, but planning to have fun anyway! so , the same to you( not the weather, just the sentiment

RE: I see this alot

and i haven't changed since then

RE: I see this alot

we're talking about a school where we were told that thought smoking cinammon sticks( we couldn't get hold of any real ones) was tantamount to murder!! innocent isn't the word

RE: I see this alot

from a' school for young ladies' ??( that obviously didn't work )
I don't think so!!
sadly it just means.... ' look, in the picture is a girl, who is the girl? the girl is Flavia? who is flavia? Flavia is a a girl who lives in italy!! told you it was useful!! too bad they didn't teach us how to say...'two glasses of your finest cabernet , my good man'!!

RE: Why is it called "falling in love"?

ah stop now!! you're a 'catch' (pun intended!!)

RE: You can't handle the truth!!!

my mother would be proud of me

RE: I see this alot

good post J- thankfully i have never been in a controlling relationship , and like to think i would be strong enough to leave if ever i got myself into one, but then, I also believe that we don't know how we would react until we have been in that situation.
Noone ( i assume) wants to be in a controlling/abusive relationship, but sometimes find themselves in one, and how much they love that person allows their judgement to be clouded, ie- 'he/she will/can change because i believe they love me'

RE: Good Bye Phil- (username - Detente)

I didn't know him, but he obviously touched many people on here, so his legacy is here. sorry for your loss

RE: You can't handle the truth!!!

i'd like to pet your gerbil

RE: Someone needs our hugs and support this week ;)

wishing you a speedy recovery- waiting to see what kind of whacky things you post after the pain meds

RE: OH, JESUS, SALLY, I LOVE YOU, I SIMPLY LOVE YOU!!

I'm an authority on everything

and for those that don't agree... I have a shotgun an' I'm not afraid to use it

RE: Why is it called "falling in love"?

if you 'fall 'in love- there should be someone there to 'catch' you

RE: OH, JESUS, SALLY, I LOVE YOU, I SIMPLY LOVE YOU!!

i see that you don't rule out kids in the future

RE: OH, JESUS, SALLY, I LOVE YOU, I SIMPLY LOVE YOU!!

they are part of my Sarah Palin fancy dress party outfit!!

RE: OH, JESUS, SALLY, I LOVE YOU, I SIMPLY LOVE YOU!!

as a scottish lady in ireland, i have to assume that's not me -

RE: You can't handle the truth!!!

hey- you only said today was tell the truth day!!!

RE: why is it hard for a guy with a disability too find someone

while i have never thought i was even close to perfect- it did take me a while to realise that some of the ( ridiculous)things that would put me off someone,... if i stepped back and looked at myself, realised that i displayed exactly the same characteristics/traits at times, but never expected them to put someone off me!!

we all need a reality check at times-being on here has taught me alot about people and myself. we all have our 'disabilities'= just some peoples are more visible or obvious than others.
Hopefully the online way, will give you the opportunity to let people see YOU, and get to know you, without even having to know you have a disability, until they need to know.
the real you is what someone whould fall in love with, not the possibility ( or rather impossibility) of perfection.

good luck, and don't give up

RE: Roberta Flack - The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face vs Eric Clapton - Wonderful Tonight

Roberta Flack- such a romantic song- find the clapton one a bit contrived- sorry

RE: it feels good to be loved

''to travel hopefully is better than to arrive''

I hope it works out for you and the arrival is as good as the journey. hope of better things to come, is wonderful and keeps our hearts alive

RE: Just received the news this morning............I can not do it............

at least you are willing to donate your organs- keep a donor card, and make sure your family know about it. Hopefully, you will not be able to help anyone for a long time, but some day....

RE: I see this alot

excellent advice

i am happy for a man to 'suggest' ways i could ress, behave etc, if he can give me a reasoned argument as to why i should do something differently than usual, and if it didn;'t go against my fundemental beliefs/morals etc but only if he is also open to my own reasons for doing it my way
. compromise is the best way. to say' you must' do something is the surest way to make an independent person do the opposite!!

RE: I am in love and I have no idea what to do.

lost here- what are you going to do with the black cat??

In answer to the ?? don't eat, don't sleep- just enjoy and use all that nervous energy for 'other' things