I suspect a person that wants my password would be the same type of person who would get jealous of what he found.
At the moment I'm only corresponding with one guy but I can't control what others decide to write to me. Some of the mails I get are pretty... "forward". I take it as a compliment, don't bother to get upset about it and don't bother replying.
I hate drama so participating in creating a situation that would probably cause one is pretty far from my reality. But if he was very insecure I might not be bothered showing him myself, depends how he asked and on the situation. I seldom have stuff to hide.
No, I won't move. I can only get my education here due to my scholarship and green card. I will not throw away my entire future like that - but I am willing to be the one traveling if required.
After I have finished studying it's very limited where I can work or research afterwards because my field of work is very restricted and specialized. But I'd be willing to have 2 homes and live 2 places if I can afford it – at home with my family and spouse and another home near my workplace.
I will compromise as much as I can, but I will not waste my good head, my expensive education so kindly paid for me by the Danish and the American citizens or my opportunities. If a guy can't understand or accept this then we can't be together. Sucks though.
True love is when he is able to share his beer with you or agree that visiting your mom is more important than watching the NFL because he knows it makes you happy.
I actually managed to create total silence at Thanks Giving for telling my roommate's family that American Football was for gays and sissies (Rugby on the other hand is a man's sport!).
But I'm just "that weird European girl", so the order was restored (and my neck was saved) when the Dad of the family proclaimed that it was yet another proof that women knew nothing about anything important and could I please pass him the beer.
Gotta love The Dad.
I miss the Danish weather actually. Texas has too much dry dust (if there ever was such a thing as wet dust..?).
Depends if football is meant in the American way or the European way.
Any guy that calls football soccer should remain dateless for the rest of his life. A suitable punishment for incriminating the fine and bold sport that football is.
F... the web I haven't had a date in 6 months, but I know it's my own fault. I'm not very approachable and whenever someone does approach me I try to be funny and apparently isn't.
Like:
Guy: "Hey. Aren't you that girl from med class?" Me: "No, actually I'm in personal art and tattoo class - or maybe we've met in that "How-To course: economical crimes" eh?" *winks* Guy: "Oh I don't think so... Well, have a good day" *walks away* Me running after the guy: "Hey you, stop! STOP! It was just a joke!" *guy runs faster*
There are people at my college too who behave very badly - that said I myself have once been judged as a spoiled rich kid when the truth is that I'm just very confused most of the time and because of this sometimes struck people as being snobbish or selfcentered when really I'm just blank at the time being and trying to get my malfunctioning brain to work again.
Most people who have a lot worked really hard for it, too. They sacrificed a lot to get to where they are today. I'm not implying that poor people are lazy or don't work as hard I'm just saying that most rich people do too.
A guy that works 60+ hours a week cannot have been a very present father. If he wants to do something for his son later in life like buying him a house and a car I can understand that. The son sacrificed something too for this to happen; his relationship with his father for instance.
Everything has a price and it's all about priorities I.E. me and most of my fellow college students sacrifice our youths so we can achieve our dreams and goals later in life. It's not very funny to hear people from other dorms getting ready to see a match on Kyle Field and drink cold beers when I'm stuck inside with my head in a book. It's not amusing to wish the others a good spring break while I have to stay on campus to take extra classes because I just want that little extra for my future. But I'm choosing this because I prioritize my future above my present, above being young and just partying and having fun. I totally understand why some people don't want to sacrifice those things, but I sure would hate to hear the same people whine about income or opportunities or careers when in 15 years I'm making more money than they are.
Like already written it's not like they fall out of the blue sky.
I blame the cheating part but it's doesn't make me the biggest fan of the person they cheated with.
If you know that someone is in a relationship you also know that being with that person will hurt someone really bad. How anyone can decide that's a super cool thing to be part of I simply can't understand. Maybe their level of empathy just doesn't reach that far, what do I know.
All I know is that a person who gives a crap if their actions or participation in them hurt others is not a person I feel strongly about socializing with on a deeper level than “Hello”.
(This said people make mistakes all the time, we're only human and that's okay. But the people who don't have any regrets about hurting others as long as it benefits themselves are not people I have very high regards about)
If I don't marry I can't bring my loved one to my home country for any long period of time because of the strict immigration rules.
ATM. the U.S. is paying for my education so I suppose they want the benefits of it by letting me stay and work here when I'm finished with college. Otherwise they would be pretty stupid. So I don't think I will have to marry to stay.
As far as I know the Bible was written by some old men. The only words that come directly from God are The Ten Commandments.
As far as I know the only holy book who was directly dictated from God was the Koran, but I may be mistaken as I'm not into East-Asian religions.
I don't believe in the written word of the Bible, but I do believe in the point.
How you interpret the Bible has a lot to do with your way of Christianity - i.e. I'm Lutheran and therefore interpret the Bible different from a Catholic.
I think people lie because it's easier and more comfortable, because they are cowards and sometimes even to spare others from pain. Unfortunatly it's very rare that people lie to benefit others than themselves.
He is mentally ill and should be institutionalized. Clearly no normal person would do that, especially seeing the danger to one self. He seemed disconcerned at his own risk, he sounds psychotic.
I'm not sure I would put it quite the way I described it in my primary post.
But you see, I was bottled up with the term "compromise at all costs" and to be honest I'm sick of it. I'm sick of having to compromise with a flirting spouse if his behaviour is turning me off. I'm sick of having to compromise with a mentor who doesn't do the job he’s paid for. I'm sick of having to compromise my way out of certain issues when I feel like I shouldn't have to, because that I’m asking for is not out of line in any way.
I myself have given in too easily in the past. At times I have compromised when I should have drawn a line in the sand and said "This far and no further!" I have feelings and needs, and some of those I just can't compromise with. And I'm through feeling like I have to in order to be “nice” or “sensible”.
It's not that I want to threat anyone into doing what I want them to, even though I can perfectly see why it may seem like that - I think I didn't articulate my meaning well enough and I apologise for that.
What I mean is that I'm no longer afraid of the consequences, if the things I can't do without is not given to me. I’m not talking about crazy things, just ordinary things like love, respect, faithfulness, loyalty and so forth. And sometimes you have to tell your partner what the ultimate consequence may be, so he fully understands the seriousness of the situation. If something is so important to me that I'm prepared to leave my spouse because of it, I think he deserves to know that's where I stand. It doesn't mean we won't talk about it in a mature way and reach a mutual understanding, it just means that I want to be totally honest with how I feel and how much it means to me.
So when I demand honesty and faithfulness, and that people keep the promises they make... I'm having an inflated ego?
Perhaps it's YOU who shouldn't be so aggressive and indstead of attacking me and/or other women should ask us: "So what IS it then, that you demand?" and let our answers be your guideline. Not just your prejudice.
Hey guys and thanks for all the replies, even the critical ones. It’s always a good thing to see your self a bit from the outside.
Some of you whom agreed with me mentioned the lack of respect for the value of things. That is exactly my point. Whenever I spend money on something I feel grateful for that thing. I think about it and I only buy stuff I’m sure I really want to have – no matter how much money I got in that period of time.
I admit that I have a bit of a pride. Spending other people’s money doesn’t feel right to me; and he is spending his dad’s. And he doesn’t even seem to care and the lack of gratefulness. His dad worked hard to give him this life and it doesn’t seem like he gives a damn. He’s not grateful at all.
I don’t know if he were trying to impress me by not picking up the bill he dropped. Maybe that is, but the thing with the bill was just the small thing that really made up my mind. Together with his attitude and careless spending I just couldn’t feel comfortable.
Someone mentioned “arrogance with money” and that is really how I see it.
Yes, he should be able to spend his own money as he chooses. But I’m not looking for a casual flirt; I’m looking for something permanent. I had to ask myself how I would feel if he were spending “our” money like that in the future. And I may be rushing to conclusions and thinking too way ahead, but the values he showed are not ones I wish to pass on to my future children. I want them to be humble and grateful, and appreciate spending money on things they like and appreciate that they have the opportunity to do so. Not everyone is so fortunate.
I don’t want to ask him to change and that’s why I haven’t talked with him about it. As I see it, if you feel like your date needs a change after only one date, chances are he’s just not right for you.
I’m really not into that Hollyweird thing with bling bling and cars that can bounce for no practical reason or spending money on a pool that spurts out candyfloss-flavoured bubbles or wearing shoes that cost the same as putting a kid through college. I won’t interfere with how people spend their own money, but that kind of lifestyle I find a little silly… Like shooting fish in a barrel for no reason at all… and the meaningless of it all is not something I want in my own life.
I don't mind money spending, but I do mind brainless money spending.
If you're just going to throw money away, I feel you could at least do something useful with it. Feed the poor or something like that. Not just leave it in a pool of water to soak up and be destroyed. You might as well burn it then.
I know it's his right to choose if he wants to just throw money on the street, but I do feel that it's a very strange concept. I feel it's wrong, like gluttony, if you don't appreciate what you got enough to make sane use of it.
A guy I have seen once before asked me on a second date last week. He lives here on campus. I turned him down with the explanation that I don’t think certain of our values match.
The thing is that he comes from a very wealthy family and thus he spends a lot of money. His dad has worked hard so he could give his family financial freedom and this guy enjoys the benefits of it, which I see no problem with.
The problem, on the other hand, is how he is spending. I'm not a cheap, but I grew up with a single-dad in the military and 2 brothers. We never had a lot and had to really think twice before spending money even though we never needed anything that is to say we weren’t poor, but perhaps a bit under middle class.
I just don't feel like I can relate to that kind of spending. I know that in my field of study the employment and pay when finished will be... let’s just say it’ll be pretty okay. Of course I will benefit from it and in time buy a nice house, a car, a lot of shoes and other luxurious things. But I can't see myself spending 10$ on a cab FOR A PIZZA just because my favourite pizza place doesn't deliver themselves and I can't bother to get the damn pizza myself, not out of laziness but because I'd rather pay my way out of it. Or spending a 3 figured amount of money on designer laces for my shoes and throwing them in the trash after a week because I suddenly decided against it... Things that some people perhaps consider luxurious, but I just find right out silly.
I decided it was too much when on our first date he dropped 20$ and was too lazy or unbothered to pick them up again. People who waste money so uncaringly are just not my cup of tea, even if they can afford it.
How important is stuff like that to you when searching for a partner?
NorseMedic Forum Posts (143)
So I don't think I will have to marry to stay.
RE: What would your reaction be?
I suspect a person that wants my password would be the same type of person who would get jealous of what he found.At the moment I'm only corresponding with one guy but I can't control what others decide to write to me. Some of the mails I get are pretty... "forward". I take it as a compliment, don't bother to get upset about it and don't bother replying.
I hate drama so participating in creating a situation that would probably cause one is pretty far from my reality. But if he was very insecure I might not be bothered showing him myself, depends how he asked and on the situation. I seldom have stuff to hide.