The friends issue
Family, that’s one thing. Even the whacky relatives are part of the furniture, but friends are different, friends are the family you choose.So - if your friend makes friends with someone you really dislike, and wants to be all pals together, what do you do? Smile sweetly and play nice? Point out the new friend is a troglodyte? Or just quietly back off because anyone who can have that as a friend is obviously not the person you thought they were?
You can do that with friends, but it happens in relationships too. SHE disapproves of HIS friends, HE thinks HERS are a pain in the proverbial. SHE thinks he spends too much time out with his buddies, and doesn't need so many boys nights out, especially with those particular boys. HE blames her friends for every glitch in the relationship. And so it goes on.
Who do you choose in a case like that? Love me, love my friends / Dump the friends, or dump the love / Lay down ground rules / other. Well, that's why I'm asking, really. Has it happened to any of you, that your new best person has a toxic friend, and how did you handle it?
Comments (75)
You're a wise man, Charlie Brown
I told her to get him signed up on CS
I did let my first boyfriend put pressure on me to cut contact with my then best friend (male). I will never let that happen again and always keep in contact with friends. If time is in short supply, by phone or the occasional text.
Have had friends of friends I disliked and just tried to keep contact minimal there.
My friends have friends I don't particularly like, and they know it, so they meet us separately. End of.
I would be the same with a partner's friends. I would be happy they had friends, if they were good friends. But that doesn't mean I have to automatically like them or hang out with them.
I've been wrong once. I'll probably never live it down.
The trouble with introducing redheads to each other is ancient blood rises and we circle each other suspiciously. What clan be ye? Be ye Scots or yon Irish, Hoots or Beggorah? next thing out come the tribal weapons and there's bloodshed and awkward questions from the police
No idea why this is. But it is. I have not ONE redheaded friend, and I live in SCOTLAND. Go figure.
My ex had kinda reddish hair.
I was getting too excited about some stuff he came out with,
My ex kept company of people I rather disliked...but never spoke ill of them until we went separate ways...he wasn't surprised...he recognized that I put up with their attitude for his sake...I also would make excuses to not go out with them...but did not interfere with his friendships...
Lucky moo
Sometimes it is easier to be silent...lol...
My parents never approved of my sister's husband...they kept that to themselves until she divorced him...lol...runs in the family I guess...
If a friend of mine would meet someone, I just would be delighted for him. No reason not to keep intouch.
Okay, I do. Like a nuclear explosion. But then it's gone and I'm wondering why everyone is looking shell-shocked.
Way, way better than my black moods.
I'm a real keeper!
Your family way sounds much more peaceful!
Yup usually I am pleased for them when they meet someone new. But there's often that awkward thing about the new bird not wanting the ex anywhere near. And once or twice where the new bird is an absolute disaster waiting to happen and anything you say sounds so dog in the mangerish ...
If she chose him...they accepted her choice...and kept out of any disagreements...peaceful people my parents are...
It's not a bad thing if this is possible methinks.
My parents had six children to make mistakes with...my younger sister got the wise parents...