Advice for Dating a Single Parent
You've met someone interesting and now it's time for the next step – the all important first date.
Does the fact you're about to date a single parent change anything in the dating process? It can, to some degree, particularly if the person hasn't been actively dating. Taking care of kids doesn't leave much time for socializing. In fact, if the children are pre-school age, there's not much time left for anything.
Whether you're asking out a single mom, or being invited by a single dad to join him for dinner, there will be a mix of excitement and apprehension on their part. Understanding this will get you off to a good start – while the following advice will ensure a great finish.
Your ability to make your date relax and enjoy themselves will determine the success of the date. Acknowledge that your date's life probably revolves around kids and start there.
- Ask about the children. Proud parents are always willing to talk about them, so it's a good way to get conversations started.
- Pictures will obviously come next. Your date is probably carrying quite a few, especially if she's the single mom.
- If you're really daring, ask about past relationships. You don't' want to be your date's therapist, but sometimes it's a topic they're comfortable talking about and you can learn a lot knowing where they've been.
- Suggest that they call home to see how the kids are and if the babysitter is doing okay. If your date is feeling comfortable with you it probably won't be necessary, but the gesture will be appreciated.
- Make it known right up front that your date's children can call you anytime while you're on the date. Be proactive and have the telephone numbers for where you'll be. This shows your sincerity.
- If your date hasn't had the opportunity to socialize lately, keep the date more subdued. Dinner is good, but make it casual dining. No movie theatres or places where you can't talk.
- Understand that sometimes a single parent of young children may slip into baby talk. This might be cute coming from a female, but not if your dates a single dad.
- Don't invite yourself back into their home after the date. Your date may not be ready for that and feel uncomfortable with kids running around and the possible state of the home.
- Make a list of things to talk about since your date's current interests may only revolve around family. Ask about hobbies, family origins, pets, or world affairs. Any topic is fine as long as it keeps the conversation going and moves it away from children.
- You can always suggest an activity or outing where your date's children can join you if babysitters are a problem. This isn't suggested for a first date, but after that, why not? If you're going to see the person again, then kids will be part of it.
- Let the dress be casual. Having the responsibility of supporting children, your date may not have money for expensive clothes. Not that this matters, but it could be embarrassing for your date if you're intending to go someplace requiring a fancier wardrobe.
- Don't push meeting the kids. Let your date dictate the time and place for that, although you can certainly suggest they participate in a future date. When that happens make it theme parks, the beach, or wherever children will be comfortable and have a good time. First time outings with children at a restaurant rarely turn out as expected.
That's all there is to it. Dating a single parent can sometimes have its challenges, but if you're seriously interested in the person, working your dates around kids, colds and babysitters is worth it.
Comments (2)
Took me a long time to have any logical thoughts thanks to a the FINE upbringing i received.
So any god-darned way i tried getting to know women. My life could have been made a BAD comedy.
I actually got talked into putting up with their kid's cr@p and hate. Kicking the legs to the chair i was sitting in. Yelling and screaming. and the good old add or adhd or whatever the parents taught him to act like was called....running manically up and down the stairs. And many other things. NOW i would want to know if the kid was good-mannered. or better yet i dont even want to meet him. What the heil do you do with KIDS anyway?? can't cuss in front of them. So what do you do?
They act like a rat's behind and then the mother who brought them up that way expects loads of compliments, and a close-horse boyfriend who's "perfect" and falls in love with their dam @ss and marries them!
I dont even want to know their freakin KIDS.
It's hard enough to make one person like you. how the heil do you relax with a KID. say golly gosh darn it to heck and the mother blows up and the kid laughs and goes to school and writes stuff all over the walls.
Oh and the words you cant say in front of their kids??
For instance DONT SAY CHEESEBURGER!
or the kid flips out and you have to take him to mcdonalds and then she (the girl you're supposed to be having a 'relationship' blames YOU for saying the dreaded word! It's all your fault. Then she and the kid ESPECIALLY if it's a son, start pouting and popping PILLS because YOU said CHEESEBURGER.
And it's all your fault and you're a big bad meanie.
So TO G D F'N HEIL WITH THE LOT OF THEM!
WAIT a minute! Im not done yet!
And she always always always sets up a situation where you're alone with the kid. Even if it means her saying she's too busy so why dont you take out little johnnie or ritchie or some girl with a weird name they gave her and pretend it was normal. Like SMUKKY or SNOOKIE or Ellie-McNelli dot Voltenhammer.
SO YOU CALL HER THAT, AND THE MOTHER SAYS, OH NO, THAT'S A FAMILY NAME! YOU cant use that name with her! You gotta call her Ashlanda or some nonsense!
Jesus Christ.
1) In the new scheme of things, you will always be number three.
2) Some of those little tykes are threatened by having competition for mom's love and become little holy terrors.
3) One false accusation of touching on the bad place, or even just parental discipline, can end your normal life. (I've had to defend such people in court. You really have to swim upstream to make it even a level playing field).
Not worth the risk.