This is a facebook post I came across this evening. Its in my community.
"Pretty bad when we have to collect pcs of asphalt from the sides of the road, melt it down and fill in the holes ourselves to save our vehicles ??. Our government and depts should be ashamed...."
Just entertaining myself.
Yeah I know, I'm here again.
For anyone who wants to know, I been depressed lately and its causing me to not be myself. I haven't mentioned much about it because I was trying to keep things fun but it don't always work. Imagine that your soul is surrounded by dark storm clouds and all you feel is the storm. Thats how I been lately. July was the anniversary of my fathers death and my friend who killed himself which never helped my mood any.
Maybe its time to see the doctor again.
I just cut myself peeling an apple.
This never would have happened with dough nuts!
The beautiful secretary of a bank president was asked to squire around the king of a wealthy African kingdom, one of the bank's most important clients.
After a day shopping & sightseeing, the king was utterly besotted with the lady, and asked for her hand in marriage. The proposal took the secretary by surprise and she was thinking of how to turn him down politely without jeopardizing the bank's business relationship.
So she told the king that she would only marry him if he fulfilled three conditions. The king readily agreed. The secretary named her first condition. She would only marry him if he could give her a 75-carat diamond ring with matching 200 carat tiara.
The king thought for a while and said finally, "No problem! I have, I have".
One down, the lady thought up something more complex. "My second condition is that you must build me a 200 room mansion in the best district of New York City and for my holiday home, a chateau in the middle of the best wine country in France."
The king whipped out his cellular phone and after a lengthy conversation with his broker in New York, he said triumphantly, "OK, I build, I build".
Realizing that she was down to her last defense, the lady thought hard. Finally, she smiled to herself thinking that her third condition was the best yet.
Surely the king could not possibly fulfill this one. "Well," she said, "You know, I love sex, so the man I marry MUST have a 14-inch long p*nis."
The king was silent and thoughtful for a long time, burying his face in his hands. Finally, he shook his head, and in a rather sad, resigned voice said, "OK, OK, I cut, I cut".
I'm a living person who likes to smoke and has too many pets.
Good times.
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