Trump to Throw Out First before game at Yankee Stadium
Today in The New Yorker;In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump to Throw Out First Amendment at Yankee Stadium
By Andy Borowitz
July 24, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an event that he described as “historic,” Donald J. Trump announced that he will throw out the First Amendment at Yankee Stadium next month.
“It’s going to be an amazing and fantastic thing I’ll be doing,” Trump said. “I’ve asked a lot of history experts,
and they all say that no President has thrown out an amendment before.”
“Obama was President for eight years and never threw out an amendment,” he said. “What a loser.”
Trump said that he had considered throwing out the First Amendment “many, many times before”
but had ultimately decided to preserve freedom of the press for his friends at Fox News.
“But, thanks to that beauty Chris Wallace, now I know that Fox is just as nasty and fake as the rest,”
he said. “The only real journalist left is that nice lady at OAN.”
When asked how he is preparing for his Yankee Stadium appearance,
Trump said that he is consulting with other world leaders who are experienced in throwing out laws.
“I had a terrific conversation with Vladimir Putin,” Trump said. “They don’t have a First Amendment in Russia,
but he said that, if they did, he would definitely throw it out. So that made me feel good.”
Trump grew misty-eyed as he contemplated his upcoming visit to Yankee Stadium.
“I can’t believe I’ll be throwing out the First Amendment,” he said. “Every little boy dreams of this.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump to Throw Out First Amendment at Yankee Stadium
By Andy Borowitz
July 24, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an event that he described as “historic,” Donald J. Trump announced that he will throw out the First Amendment at Yankee Stadium next month.
“It’s going to be an amazing and fantastic thing I’ll be doing,” Trump said. “I’ve asked a lot of history experts,
and they all say that no President has thrown out an amendment before.”
“Obama was President for eight years and never threw out an amendment,” he said. “What a loser.”
Trump said that he had considered throwing out the First Amendment “many, many times before”
but had ultimately decided to preserve freedom of the press for his friends at Fox News.
“But, thanks to that beauty Chris Wallace, now I know that Fox is just as nasty and fake as the rest,”
he said. “The only real journalist left is that nice lady at OAN.”
When asked how he is preparing for his Yankee Stadium appearance,
Trump said that he is consulting with other world leaders who are experienced in throwing out laws.
“I had a terrific conversation with Vladimir Putin,” Trump said. “They don’t have a First Amendment in Russia,
but he said that, if they did, he would definitely throw it out. So that made me feel good.”
Trump grew misty-eyed as he contemplated his upcoming visit to Yankee Stadium.
“I can’t believe I’ll be throwing out the First Amendment,” he said. “Every little boy dreams of this.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Well Dirty Don, I get misty eyed too, when I realize, that it won't be long,
before the voters can finally throw you out also.
Comments (2)
and with his turning of the military on peaceful protesters. Lets not forget his repeated obstruction of justice cases during Mueller's investigation, as well as his lying to Mueller in writing. He also committed quid pro quo and for help from an adversarial foreign power to win an election.
So, we can certainly expect other violations, while he's still in office. Indeed, the more he gets away with (temporarily), the more he feels empowered to do worse.