Dating for the Aware
Having been a member of CS for approximately 2 months, I’ve made certain observations.1. From reading the comments of others, I’ve concluded that some people have been members for many years. Although the site may offer a sense of camaraderie and support, amongst other things, it would appear that often it may not lead to finding a long-term partner.
2. It’s apparent that there is a very high number of scammers on the site, which is probably due to it being a free site. Sifting through many unwanted messages is very time consuming.
3. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s very difficult to find members in my local area, Initially I thought this was due to the fact that I live in a fairly remote area, but from others’ comments, I get the sense that it’s more pervasive. In order to establish a real relationship, I believe that people actually need to meet in person, so this is clearly somewhat problematic.
4. Perhaps one of the things that has taken me aback most is the fact that a few profile pictures are actually of people wearing masks. In psychological terms, wearing a mask is akin to a person hiding his or her true self and is the complete antithesis of being authentic. Why anyone would choose to put up a profile picture on a dating site with at least two thirds of their face obscured by a mask defies belief. I cannot make any sense of it. Why put up a picture at all? But, obviously it does say a lot about anyone who would choose to do that. Having received one or two messages from people wearing masks, which I ignored, I chose to reply to one and challenge this. Whether doing this made any real difference, I’ll never know.
All this has left me wondering what people are actually looking for on a dating site like CS. I’m guessing that it’s probably very different things for different people. If people are not actually looking for a partner, I’d really be interested to know what draws them to a site, which is designed for single people who do want to find a partner.
Dating, as in every other area of life, involves making choices. Coming from a place of self awareness means being really conscious of the choices we make. In relation to online dating, I believe that in addition to many other factors, the issue of whether the other person has taken the jab or not is likely to become increasingly important in the future.
Comments (124)
Your answers are neither obvious nor rational. You may only come to the blogs, but that’s not the case with everyone. Today I had a personal message from someone wearing a mask. Fortunately this has happened very rarely. Whether on a blog or otherwise, something is going on for someone who chooses to mask their face in this kind of setting, regardless of how much you try to argue to the contrary. When I challenged this and asked a direct question to Rizlared, he chose to ignore it. Says it all!
Thanks for your supportive comments.
Thanks for all your reflections. I totally agree that if someone wants to prove a point, wearing a mask on their profile picture is a very easy way to do it.
Yes, good points you make about the baggage. Perhaps that’s one reason why it’s often so pointless to try to engage in reasoned debate with someone if they are incapable of being objective and discussing issues in a rational way. Obfuscation and diversionary tactics seem to be the order of the day for a few people.
The further the better! Well, maybe you have a point there. Instead of lamenting the fact that there seem to be few people on CS in this neck of the woods, maybe I should thank my lucky stars!
The main reason that I’ve been considering whether there might be dating sites that cater primarily for people who could be described as aware and awake is that the VAXX is a huge issue for me with regard to relationships. It’s a real concern that so many have now taken it and that number keeps growing by the day. I believe that we’re approaching the point at which people are going to want to know whether potential partners have been jabbed or not. Perhaps we’ve already reached that point. I don’t know how others feel about this.
Just recently a friend was telling me about someone who had started a new relationship before the whole Covid ‘pandemic’ struck. She said that the relationship was apparently going really well. Then the man got the jab and the woman didn’t. He was quite insistent that she take the jab, too, and when she refused, he ended the relationship. I’m sure that over time this kind of scenario will happen more and more often and, of course, will work both ways. There’s also the issue of how it will be for couples in established relationships if one has taken the shot and the other hasn’t. For those who don’t take the shot, the possibility of transmission becomes a real risk factor within relationships. I believe that there are many issues that are going to surface in relation to all of this.
In fact, he had no other pictures on his profile.
I quite liked the guy but...the mask did bother me and I asked him to post another pic, which he refused, for some reason???
So I stopped writing.
Another point...I wonder why the mods allow that?
One of the rules being that your main photo must be clear!
I've had some of mine deleted several times because they were blurry.
Dating is now even more complicated and it's another obstacle in the way
In response to your question, I first put up the pic with a mask as a joke, then was about to remove the pic when a certain obnoxious individual made a facetious comment about my face and the mask, so I decided to leave it up.
I'll change the pic when I decide, not when some pathetic liar tells me to change it
As my profile states clearly I am not seeking anyone so my pic is irrelevant.
If someone is so shallow that they NEED a visual picture to converse, that is on them.
Thank you for finally replying to my question. The reason I asked you directly why you had chosen to display a profile picture wearing a mask was due to the fact that you had previously posted this comment, ‘If you were truly interested in someone, you would peruse their profile, thereby seeing more pictures without a mask’. Then you made a judgmental statement about being short-sighted and closed-minded. The observation made on the original post was not specifically directed towards you, but was questioning why anyone would choose to wear a mask on a profile picture. I happen to know there are a few people who do this. I received a message from one such person only yesterday and that person had no other pictures on display.
By your own admission you were trying to make some kind of point after you say that someone had made a facetious comment about it. But, it’s a pity that you weren’t able to respond without calling someone else an obnoxious individual and a pathetic liar.
Anyway, don't let this discourage you, my friend.
We need a hard skin to be on this site.
I'm just being realistic!
My non vaxxed friends are doing the same.
If I have a gardener then I stay away.
The emergencies here (Red Cross and so on) are not vaccinated.
They're the ones telling us not to have physical contact with the vaxxed people.
But they are wearing protective gear.
I'm not!
You need to get out more and stop talking about things you appear to know nothing about.
Unlike Germany or France, Spain doesn’t have a big anti-vaccine movement. More than 90% of Spain’s public health workers have been vaccinated, compared with 42% of public health workers in France.
And how do you know how often I go out, miss know it all?
I have 2 dogs who need a lot of exercise.
And...I happen to know what I am talking about!
Unlike you who just copies and pastes some articles which you have of course chosen for your own agenda.
My info doesn't have any link to copy.
Bye.
If the media isn't showing it it's because those doctors and lawyers have no credibility. The traditional media have to follow rules in a way we on social media do not. There are no editors on the net!
'I know some friends who won't invite a vaxxed person into their home, and I'm doing the same too'
I have absolutely no idea where this line of thinking comes from...why??
As a dear friend of mine pointed out in many occasions "you're wasting your time on CS" so he said.
One question, how can you view the site without subscribing first?
Shel..I think I'll join that website you mentioned.
None of you will be missed. CS can return to a fun place again.
Tell you what, when you go I'll remove my mask, hope that is incentive enough.
Bye
It's all out there for anyone to read and I'm pretty sure the Spanish Health authorities would be down on them like a ton of bricks if the facts were untrue.
As many have commented back to you ,are you now a recluse? Who does your shopping as Edison remarked ,apart from other places that you will be amongst vaxxers that don't have a sign saying vaxxed on their foreheads.if you don't want to mix with vaxxers? Come into the real world.
It's ok if you don't want a vaccination ,but I do wish you'd stop spreading your own supposed insight into what effect it has, or will have ,on those that have .
Its called freedom of choice .
Lee Charming
A lot of really interesting points came up in your posts yesterday. I’m going to pick up on some of these when I have more time this evening and will share some of my own thoughts about the implications of what’s going on in the bigger picture, particularly with regard to dating and relationships.
Thanks for all your supportive and insightful comments, Dan. I’m just sorry that you’ve been on the receiving end of such a lot of flak. As you said, having a hard skin does help on CS. In relation to the site I mentioned, I’m not sure if you can view it without subscribing. But, it only costs 10 euros a year.
Other Posters
As I have quite limited time right now, I’m not going to comment on each individual post, but I will address some of the main points raised. I can well understand why Dan is choosing not to allow VAXXED people into her home. Some doctors have spoken out about the issue of transmission, as well as people who say they have experienced the effects of this. Personally, I don’t think it’s going to be practically possible to completely stay away from the VAXXED without becoming a hermit. In any case, I need to have tradesmen come into my house to do various jobs, but I certainly intend to monitor any effects upon my health after being around those who have taken the jab.
I have to say that I’m starting to find it quite tiresome, when people keep citing mainstream sources and denigrate any information that is incompatible with their views and mindset. It doesn’t seem to matter how much those who are speaking out highlight the fact that the media and certain people in positions of power are a big part of the problem. In relation to the jab, I think that there’s good reason to believe that it’s the real bioweapon. No matter whether you point out that there were a lot of patents in place for years before COVID emerged, some people seem incapable of doing anything other than parroting the official narrative. As I’ve said in the past, I sincerely hope that I’m wrong about where all this is headed, but the more that comes to light, the less likely that seems to be.
Thank you! OMG, I see that on every dating site I've been on. The only thing I can think (this is only for those that have both photo's showing with and without masks) --- so that when they choose to meet in a public establishment that requires a mask, that their date can still recognize them
You’re entitled to your opinion, but when you start calling people ‘nut jobs’ just because what they’re saying makes no sense to you, I would argue that you’re on very shaky ground. I would caution you about being so arrogant in your stance. Just maybe, your words will come back to bite you.
I liked the example you gave of the difference between going to a bar with a partner on a couples’ night out as opposed to engaging in speed dating.
From some of the comments people made earlier in relation to what CS actually is, I drew the conclusion that a possible way of describing it would be to say that it’s a dating site, but not solely a dating site. I’m puzzled that some people would even seem to be suggesting that it’s not actually a dating site, when you consider the way that the site is actually set up and the format of the profiles. As was pointed out in one post, there are probably far more members who come to the site to find a partner than those who use the blogs or forums.
As I stated in the original post, what I find most puzzling is that people who are not single seem to think that it’s not just a site for single people, despite the fact that the name of the site is actually Connecting Singles. My understanding of the word ‘single’ in this context is ‘not married or attached in a committed relationship’. Just curious about what this means for people who are not actually single and come to this site?
I agree that perhaps some people prefer to remain anonymous, though it certainly doesn’t help to establish some kind of connection on an online site. But, if that’s their preference, they simply don’t have to put up a profile picture, which is what some people choose to do. I contend that pictures of people wearing a mask on an online site is a very different matter. There is clearly some motivation for doing this and it’s making some kind of statement.
You asked me how many contacts in my inbox are actually bloggers. Not that this is any of your business. In point of fact, I don’t actually know for certain, as I don’t check this out. I don’t like the way you framed your comment - ANSWER MY QUESTION. Did they not teach you any manners at school? In any case, your question is irrelevant. Whilst it may seem more absurd for people who are actively seeking a partner to wear a mask on their profile picture, the underlying issues are still the same, as I’ve outlined above.
What you think of me is a matter of indifference to me. You don’t know me, just as I don’t know you.
I've read through your whole blog where you complain that CS isn't a real dating site. I'm wondering if you realize that your posts reveal how you think, things that a potential partner might be looking for.
If you met someone from CS for a coffee/tea date I doubt you would say all that you have said in this blog because people on first dates hide many things about themselves.
You have spent a lot of time in this blog on a dating site that you don't like.
I want to address something else that you complained about......people who cover their face with a mask that makes you wonder why are they hiding. I don't think they are hiding no more than I am hiding without any picture. I am on CS because I have a lot of time since I retired and it gives me a chance to interact with people all over the world. I'm not looking for a date or a relationship. You don't like it that Riz has a mask on. So what. Maybe he just wants to be funny, maybe he's not looking for a date, maybe he' was in a room full of people when the picture was taken and Covid was still strong.
You may not believe it but you have done yourself a great service by opening up who you are. I hope you stay with the bloggers because in general they are a good bunch of people. I'm usually in the forums and don't come here much but when I do I find them interesting people to learn about their ways.
Good luck to you Shel
First of all, I need to say that I wasn’t complaining. I don’t think that at any point I said that I didn’t like the site or that it wasn’t a real dating site. I posed a number of questions about the site, some of which were prompted by comments others had made. Rather than complaining, I was reflecting upon my experiences after 2 months and making some observations about things that struck me about the site. I’m sure that most bloggers talk about things that strike them, which may or may not necessarily resonate with other people. I think that there are a few different aspects to the mask issue and this has been well commented on already, so I’m not going to cover old ground. But, if you’ve read the comments on the blog, you’ll be aware that people have shared different perspectives on a number of the points I made in the original post and it’s certainly not just about my take on things.
You had me panicking for a moment. I thought that if I had violated the rules I might be in serious trouble. A Trump Dating Site? That’s a new one to me. I can’t imagine what that would be like. Or, maybe I can!
I have the following vision; You, Bo, Rose, Crypt (if we can drag her out of her sofa), Dan, me
and any other free walking soul meeting in the scottish highlands at a super cosy hotel for a long weekend.
There we just hang out, eat well, have a few glasses, talk about life, maybe play some cards. Maybe do some dancing at the hotel dancefloor. Take some not too heavy field trips. And just hang about in good company.
Right, let me add: all who'd feel compelled could coma as far as I'm concerned.
Out of that that could become a yearly thing.
And maybe, just maybe that could be born such a dating site, if any of you guys wanna start that.
I'll pitch in if I can contribute anything. Though my main idea is sitting in a shed somewhere welding veteran cars, hehe.
Just wanted to share this idea.
Crypt n Rose has my number, and you can bet your rear I'm coming if invited.
I just love this thought. But you guys must contact each other on your own.
Send Bo a message, you two should at least be friends! Just my thoughts here.
G'nite maam'
I'm slowly in my way somewhere else.
This is not a place for learning from each other.
It's a war zone.