Relaxed old age my foot!

The biggest fantasy is that when you get old and retired, life is easy. People take care of you. You have all the time in the world to play. Bull! Reality is how on earth did we do everything when we did work!
I have two houses on the farm. The old farmhouse I rent and the main I live in with a boarder in the basement. He and a neighbor are pseudo sons. I rent the farm house cheap with the lease that they are part caretakers, do barn chores in morning, take care of what the house needs unless major. I have had the gamut of tenants. Ended up with one guy for 23 years who was like a brother. He was killed when the corn plant blew up and came down on him. He buddy took the house years ago. We got along well.
This tenant, a lawyer, grew up on a farm. Smoker and a bit partier. Ends up with lung cancer a year ago or two. Does chemo and radiation and puts it in its place. Regular maintenance chemo.
He gets health issues. Fluid in chest. Swelled arm. He went off chemo to get his hip replaced last spring. 6 weeks and seem all is well.
A week or more ago, he texts me he is having daughter take him to ER. Must have pulled arm and pain too bad.
He texts me he has major infection and a T12 compression fracture vertebra. Surgery is planned on shoulder, spine, etc. Daughter ends up texting, it is staph, he is in induced comma and bad shape. It ends up its in two heart valves and brain. He died a week ago or so. Hard to keep track of days.
She and I both blame the hospital giving him the staph. He had chemo the week prior. They couldn't notice it?
So now I sit with a vacant house that I have to deal with. I need that well for barn water. I am doing all the barn chores am and pm. I told neighbor he needs to move in. Oh..too big a bother in winter. Word of mouth to find a tenant. I am taping heavy vinyl over windows and pink insul foam. Try to shut house tight and keep gas low. 5% a week as of now. 50sF still. His daughter cant find info as to where he got gas. I called and found one that will bring it when I am at 25%. That is lower than I like.
So much for retirement. Good thing I am about the same as at 50..just a bit slower. Cause it is back at it for me. I will do an ad in spring unless neighbor decides to live up to the fact he will inherit along with my boarder so might as well start learning.
Can I run away from home?