things are happening
My words and dreams are coming back. the words are rushing into my head like a waterfall un dammed, last night was torment as phrases swirled through inviting thought, encouraging expansion while I was locked in sleep. "open up your heart and let the sun shine in on the red, tattered fragments of might have beens'.and the dreams, all in brown, no other colour yet, strange symbols - the perfect pair of pants yet the seams unravel minutes after i put them on...but they are back and the chaos is mine to glory in.
I have talked about the loss of my dreams to most people who asked what was radiation like, i never knew so few of us retain dreams into waking...I have always dreamed vividly and frequently horrendously, night terrors, night mares - so to go a single night without a dream shocked me and was worthy of comment. Brown dreams are good, earth and renewal, foundations.
i'll dance in Tennessee this weekend in my dreams and the torrent of words may slow long enough for me to capture one or twenty on paper.
In the meantime, it is my mother's birthday on monday and I need to do something outrageous enough to knock all thoughts of cancer out of her head, The poor woman measures me for my shroud each time she looks at me, and I have reached the stage where it is easier to spend minimum time with her than struggle with the immense negative vibe she carries. Maybe I'll give her my last will and testament for a birthday card - anything to remind her i do not plan on checking out soon, so alll this grieving is a bit over the top. And annoying.
Any way it is Friday and I may try going to the beach to exercise my wayward left side to see if i can coax it back home so I can run after the words.
Comments (7)
I'm
But, no "you" can't be that rotten
She practically 'measures you for a shroud'.. hahah.. that made me laugh a lot!.
How about telling her you have met a man on CS and are about to elope to get married.. That you have changed your mind about being sicky, and thought you might give marriage a go instead?
That might give her something else to think about.. that, or tell her you are pregnant.
I posted a special piccy for you on your FB page earlier.
You continue to be an inspiration with your words, your indomitable spirit and your pure, unadulterated class.
Whatever else this has been, it's one helluva journey...even just from the bleachers...
Love,
Jeff