Being single by choice ...

(But do we really have a choice ?)


I always have my lunch and coffee outside on saturday. This saturday, I went out to attend a friends family wedding and then head out for coffee by myself at some mall in the city.


So there I was, sitting and sipping me coffee, alone and I can't help but to overheard the talk that's going on at the table next to me.
There's a guy and his friends which is obviously a couple talking, looks like the coupled friends just got married, because they're so all over eachother just like a newly wed.
The girl say, "hey when will you follow our step and get married?.."
And the other guy which is obviously her man start saying the samething , " yeah when will you be more serious with your life man, you're 38, don't you think that its time for a man to be married by that age ..."


This "single" guy just smile without lifting his eyes of his tablet while his fingers keep on pointing the screen and turning the pages ..
And his friends were teasing him but quickly change the topic since their "single guy" friend clearly seemed to not be interested at the topic, and they have a more fun and interactive conversation soon after the topic change


I mean, here we are, two single people, on this part of the world, sitting next to eachother at a coffee shop, bussy with our own mind and thing, enjoying our time ..
Some quick exchanging glance and friendly smile, then we are back to our own quality "me" time of ours ..
And the world seems so peacefull.
Until the party crasher came and just blurted out some topic which some are not likely to enjoy (but not againts it aswell).


And that moment, the only thing I could think of is ,
" Oh trust me I feel you brother, we are just not in the same page with them .."


Because for me (and maybe for him and for some other people out there aswell) , marriage is not just about dates ..
Or some numbers at your age brackets that seems to just slip further and further away to the "right" section
Marriage is a choice people made
And some are just not ready to make that choice yet ..
Or might never will ..


But still its a choice and this is a free world that we are living ..
And sometimes regenerating and legally bounded just might just not be one of them
It doesn't mean that if we are single then we are not enjoying our time
Sometimes, some people enjoy being with them self for a change, after bussy coping with work and routines
Sometimes it is ourself that we would like to spend time with, or go on a date with in our spare times ..
Sometimes alone is all the crowd that we need ..
And sometimes, among the variety choices we have, being "single by choice" IS the choice that we made ..


I believe that we are the one who gets to decide "the who,what and when" that is right for ourself and no body else ..
And I am sure that there are many more of the "single by choice" people out there, outside of this coffee shop that we sit at, outside of this country, and somewhere out there inside this lonely planet who feel the same way ..


This blog is about choosing to be single and at the same time living in a certain kind of society ( which in my case tradional indonesian culture ) and how minor but annoying this single-ness topic can be ..


So, when it comes to society, despite off all the choices our society gave us
Do we really have a choice ?


Or should we just say the magic word ..
" F*ck society " and risk ourself to be labelled as a rebel
And move on ...