Men are from Mars......
Ok so I met you 10 years ago. You were dating a friend of mine and I didn't know you all too well. I would just hear so many wonderful things about you.I'm like ok, wonderful...she has a great man, that's fantastic.
Haven't talked to my friend in at least 8 years. Forgotten all about this wonderful man she spoke of.
So I decide to go out one night because the kids were away for the weekend, I went to a local club...many friends go there that I've known for many years.I see a man, approaches me. You look SO familiar, he says....well I should, I've met you a long time ago. And I told him about my friend....and we even had many mutual acquaintances, but never really talked.
After the club had closed, he asked me if I wanted to go out for a late night breakfast. We did, and met some friends there
He had come by the house afterward.....we sat on the couch until 6am, just talking. He's going through a divorce....a very messy one. At this point, with what I'm currently going through, we both just needed a friend to talk to.
He left around noon....and came back just hours later....Spent some time.... He was telling me that his birthday JUST passed a few days ago, was kind of disappointed that all he had gotten from his friends and family was one card... Not so much dissappointed in the lack of materialistic gifts, but more of the simple fact that he just wasn't in their thoughts. So I decided to bake him a birthday cake, candles and all and bought him a simple card and told him now you have TWO cards, happy birthday! He was very touched by this, and thanked me sincerely.
Well...to make a long story short, he was coming to my house every day for several days. We were getting to know eachother and he would put his arms around me...gave me kisses...get little gifts for my kids...offer to do things for me...told me that he really liked me....leading me to believe it was going somewhere..
Then out of the blue it seems we hit a stop sign
He was working. I asked him if he wanted to go out that night and do something...
First excuse...he was working really late...ok understandable
But then about 15 minutes into the conversation, he had mentioned he had a few tickets to some event for that night that he was going to go to with some friends. Then not much later in the conversation, he said he was going out with his buddies to play pool. I was rather dissappointed that with all these things that he had plans to do, he had turned my offer down before he had even accepted the offers of others. He initially had no plans but to get some rest after work....but then things just kind of came up "all of a sudden"....
So I had asked him...ok, we've been beating around the bush a bit...
You're at my house every day....because you want to be
(most friends I have, I'm lucky if I see them 3-4 times a month
You put your arms around me
You kiss me
You win the approval of my kids
You tell me you really like me
But with this he says..
We're just friends.
I haven't heard from him since....no text messages....no phone calls....no response from him at all...not even as a friend.
No, not poetry, just a random pondering of recent events
Comments (31)
Happy mum day for you and be happy alalalwayse
So
I call these men collectors and I keep them away
hope I'm wrong...
but you're a princess so keep your head up
You can only have a relationship with someone, when you are in a job you enjoy, or business you do, or are in a position to be comfortable with yourself and are in control.
then you can look for marriage, or a stable relationship.
his life isnt stable at the moment, he has pressures and stress, so he cant be bogged down for a serious relationship.
only flings.
Its life, in this day and age.
You go girl, do not let this man get to you, you are much more worth then this guy!
Was it stupid to kiss you and hold you and make plans with you? Of course not. But to make that kind of move and change your mind is stupid!
I'm saying you should just wait until he is ready.. but if he didn't get back to you in a few weeks.. try sending him a textmessage or something.. something neutral like just asking how he's doing.
Maybe he will miss you around that time but he might be scared to take the first step to return, so by that message he could/should find enough guts to go for it, if there is some intrest from his side at least but If he has done all this.. I think their might be. So good luck
If I allow it, but it gets very stressful and tiring, and brings goood and bad attention.
The ones that will love me when Im interesting and entertaining, and then the others who will hate me with a passion.
I dont like conflict, so it forces me to stay indoors, and away from trouble, when Im actually a talker, entertainer etc.
the problem is, if a girl likes me, she wants to impress her friends and show me off, but I dont like that, becaue I battle when their is more than one personality around me.
The one will love me, but her friend will be upset by me, and I dont like upsetting people.
Their can be many reasons for him to step on the break. In a week or 2 he should have figured out if he misses you or not.
If he did, then he just needs the guts to follow his heart. And a little nice message from you could just be the push he needs then. So relax and let time do its part.
Either he doesn't know what he wants, or he is using you, by taking advantage of your kind nature? I don't know his intentions, but what I do know is that he is certainly misleading you, in his amount of time spent with you, as well as his physical expressions toward you. If I knew a lady who was kind as you, I would have certainly followed up, by contacting you in some way, and not leaving you hanging. It just demonstrates that he is not serious enough or ready for any close relationship.
He obviously, needs alot of time to get over his divorce, for it's too fast and too soon for him to get seroius with anyone. Though he may mean well, I think that it's wise that you guard your heart, by not getting too deeply involed with him emotionally, for he is not ready for that. You seem like a really nice lady, who deserves much, much more. Even if you continue to remain friends with him, you need to set some boundaries with him, for he certainly has crossed them, if his intentions were to be just friends with you. Don't want to see you get hurt. For you been more than kind!
God bless you, Serenity! Serendipity
yes, listen to Teddybear, he seems to be more ontrack. this bloke might come back. maybe he is blackmailed, blocked and being watched etc now.
He sounds like the sneaky secretive type.
Sometimes people do stupid things when they're hurt and do things without thinking them through first.
JMO, I wouldn't contact him, if he is interested, he will contact you.
Sometimes, you must just take someone,
By all means, guard your heart. You deserve better than to have the rug pulled out from under you.
I've been there myself. The average time that it takes a guy to get past a divorce (grief) is about 2 years. Some take longer, some less, some never at all really. If it is messy, like mine was, I had no room for anything and could barely keep myself together during this war in the courts.
I'm sad that you have been caught up in this. I hope you can find your way through this and maybe not hold it too much against him.
Knowledge is your best defense. I don't know where he is at right now, but don't let this spoil your view of other men in the future.
I have a theory that this world has, in general, become hurtful and callous, even within families and that (again, in general) lost our ability to be loving because we are going thru life trying not to get hurt. Does that make any sense?
Do pardon me please, I was just a bit depressed last night. No need for me to splash it over CS.
.....oh but non, you should know by now, you're my favorite bloggin martian