Online dating rules

<This will be multi page, sorry>

So a friend of mine goes on a popular dating site. She finds someone localish, good looking, 35 years old and allegedly a college graduate in a very good job. They exchange emails. They set up a meet. They date. He tells her his name. He tells her he lives in a furnished room in the basement of a home 60 miles away in the town he works in. She however has a job about 30 miles towards his hometown, but she has an apartment of her own. After a few dates the affair moves into intimacy.

Strangely however all the assignations are short. She gets off work, they meet for dinner in the town they work in. He sometimes complains about the drive to her place but sometimes he does go there, but he never stays more than hour or two, then leaves. He never brings spare clothing to her house. He always showers before leaving. They plan weekends together, but often on Saturdays he calls and says he has to work overtime and maybe tomorrow he will come. Sometimes he does show up on Sundays but he never stays more than 3 hours before remembering a reason he has to leave. Alternatively the Saturdays they do get together he is a great companion. He takes her to shows, wineries and concerts. He holds her hand and treats her like a queen.

He claims he loves her. Months ago she suggested they pick out a place convenient to both their jobs. He agrees but also refuses to tell her the address of the house where he keeps a furnished room. He tells her it is an elderly couple that owns the house and a condition of his living there so cheaply is that he have no visitors and everything has to be super quiet there. As time passes she occasionally suggests they actually start visiting places for rent and although he says yes to the idea, somehow whenever it is time to do so he has to work overtime.

His job is a 7 days a week government job where folks work 24 hours a day and (allegedly) often being a senior employee he is the one asked to come in if someone else can not work. She isn't suspicious, but finds it annoying how often when they have time together scheduled his job interferes. Sometimes when she is with him his phone will get a text and again he has to leave due to a problem at work.

Me, I am a paranoid MF, and when she tells me some of the details, I say bluntly, I think he isn't around you much because he lives with a wife or a girlfriend and their asking where he is, is the work emergency that calls him away. I am told no. She asked him long ago and he has never been married and he has no other woman. He wants to marry her and have a family. His school and job have kept him from settling down, but now that he has a permanent assignment he wishes to buy a house for the two of them.

He becomes aware of my existence and worries that she is always talking to me on the phone. She loves how jealous he sounds when he asks about me. Her last boyfriend basically didn't care what she did if he wasn't around. One day around 7PM he insists she call me and let him talk to me. She does. I recognize her number on my caller ID and think maybe she is having car trouble and answer it. Immediately he rants and raves to me about how my friend is his woman now and I have no business stalking her and hanging around her. I am told I need to stop calling her and if I keep showing up uninvited at her house him and me will have a problem. Although enormously tempted to suggest he kiss my nether regions, I instead ask him a polite question. I ask, so you are saying the next time she calls me wanting to talk to me about you I should just hang up the phone? And let me get it clear, the next time this pretty woman calls me up because you cancelled your date with her and asks me out to lunch I should just say no?
.