The Inverse Vampire

It's been raining here a lot recently.
In fact, this is the rainiest spring & summer in New Jersey (USA)
that I remember.
This week alone I was rained out of playing softball;
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and even though it was sunny today,
the game was cancelled because there are puddles of water in the infield.

With all the natural watering of my lawn, it's been actively growing quite a bit more than usual.
So, I decided to capitalize on there being sunshine and venture out to mow the lawn.

The minute I step outside, my good neighbor across the street is in his yard and yells to me
"hey, how you doing Jim ?"

"Great ! How are you ?"

"I'm doing good too, but my wife has been worried about you, since we haven't seen you
out & about all week. She wanted me to go across the street and knock on your door to make
sure you were OK."

We both chuckled a bit at that, as he's laid back, but while she is very sweet, she can also be intense at time.
I said, "It's just with all the rain, I don't have as much reason to go outside.
I haven't been able to play softball nor take nature photos."

About 2 minutes later his wife comes outside and waves and yells "hey Jim where you been ?"

So, I yell back, that "I'm an inverse vampire".
With that, they're both staring at me with WTF? looks on their faces.

So, I wait a couple of seconds and say....
"Well you know that vampires bite women's necks and suck their blood.
Plus, you never see them when the sun shines.
Well, I'm kind of the opposite. I don't suck anyone's blood. You only see me when the sun shines.
And I don't bite women's necks, unless they're kinky and into that sort of thing.

Yeah, that conversation really happened this morning.