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But the topic is a sensitive one for me and I'm not ready to spill my blood and guts on these pages just yet so here's a little something I whipped up in the meantime.

Breaking News:
Vladimir Putin has ordered the construction of a wall along Russia's closest border with the United States.

Mr. Putin's translated address to the Russian people, "The Bering Strait is a natural border between Russia and the state of Alaska, but doesn't provide adequate protection from the greatest threat to Russia's national security; Sarah Palin."

Perplexed, Mr. Putin said "I long for the days when espionage consisted of more than standing on your front porch with a pair of binoculars".

Whether it's the media, politicians, or self-interested shills, there always seems to be someone trying to influence my opinion and to persuade me to choose their 'side'.

Everywhere I turn there's someone trying to tell me what is good and what is bad, or worse, who I should hate. One has to be careful though because sometimes those people are dishonest, and have slimy, dark agendas. You know who you are ...

Anyway, when it comes to being genuine, who could I trust more than a dog? Yes, a dog! No apparent agenda aside from the occasional con for a doggie treat, I can rely on a dog to objectively point out good and evil and to steer my disdain in the proper direction.

So far and by following the dog's intuition, I've learned that pigeons and mourning doves are intolerable and that I can't trust people on bicycles or skateboards. When it comes to real contempt though, no one is more deserving than the gardeners with leaf-blowers and weed whackers.

But when it comes to unadulterated hate and where to focus blind rage, there's no clearer target than the mailman!


This is Tess, and she approves this blog!

I'm not referring to a goiter, a urinary tract infection or herpes flare-up. No, I'm talking about the craving I have for a smoke. I average a couple of cigarettes a week or so and I'm currently about 10 days without one but the craving won't die. Maybe the problem is the triggers.

Every cup of coffee, every meal, every midget porn video. The point is that it's hard for me.....like trying get past the 5 minute mark of a Trump speech.

I think I'd have an easier time with sticking my leg in a wood-chipper, having my face torn off and eaten by a wolverine, or plucking my Persian neighbor's back hair.

I know. I know...there's nicotine gum and e-cigs but if I didn't have this to b*tch about, what's left? Politics I suppose, but aren't there already enough a-holes doing that?

I think I need a smoke....

I learned from an Uber driver yesterday that I'm currently about three blocks from the scene of the crime. I remember it well and at the time I thought how oddly appropriate that it happened in Hollywood since to me it looked like a movie. But in this movie they were using real bullets--an estimated 2,000 of them, and real blood.

There was a movie made about it (of course there was) but it couldn't compare to the real-time news footage.

Anywayyyyy, I was close to having a smoke yesterday, paying for an Arizona iced tea and peering over the cashier's shoulder at the cigarettes on display....
I could almost hear them calling out to me, "Come on, one more won't kill you!"

Actually it might. Maybe that's the attitude I need to adopt. The next one just might be the final nail in the coughin'. Pun intended. Today is 16 days.

Did you ever start doing something when you suddenly realize that you've completely messed up? Yeah, me either.... well until just now.

So I'm drawing a gymnast and not thinking at all apparently. Then it occurs to me just how wrong the body is for a gymnast. See if you don't agree



Could you imagine that girl doing gravity-defying flips and such? It's ridiculous, right? What the hell made me draw a gymnast with no arms and no feet?

Not much to see here, folks. Just having some fun.


Now that I look at it, I think I should have drawn a larger...um
Belly button.

I was on YouTube and watching videos on everything from art/guitar building to DIY rhinoplasty when I looked in the 'related' column and saw "WORST art restoration fails" with this thumbnail


Does anyone remember this? I thought it was sad at the time and wondered if I could do much better. I wasn't a very good artist and I'm still not an artist, but I am getting better. Anyway, I thought I'd take a shot and see how my attempt might compare. What say you?

It's a well-known fact that people whose names start with A-M are the smartest and I can retrieve dozens of YouTube videos to back my claim--and those whose names start with N-Z are not only stupid, but smell like feet.

Does anyone see the problem here? If you do, you must be one of the stinky retards whose name starts with N-Z.

I'm disenchanted with America's favorite pastime. No, not baseball. I'm talking about meddling. If it's not Iraq, it's Iran. If it's not Libya, It's Yemen. If it's not Chile, it's Venezuela. And so it goes...

I'm thinking of changing my Facebook status to un-american. I side with Russia in regard to violations of the so-called Monroe Doctrine. What a crock of sh*t!

Sammie is not my favorite uncle anymore!

In fact, I think "Uncle Sam" is a F'n pervert...and always was.


F'k you, Sammie! I'm following in Trump's footsteps as in we're not paying-in one damned dime (in taxes) toward your depraved, carnalistic...
*Briinngggg*

Eh, I got a phone call from Trump's lawyer saying that I'm being sued.