Who 'needs' a partner? (238)
sweetowen: My past experience has been that just when I let myself be vulnerable, they leave. So, my guard is always up. If I express myself too much, they tend to back off.
I rather lose the person by trying, then to lose by not letting my true feeling be known. I don't want to be sitting somewhere many years from now with a beautfitul lady and telling her how much I loved her "way back when" and she says "why didn't you tell me? I felt the same way."
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sweetowen: My past experience has been that just when I let myself be vulnerable, they leave. So, my guard is always up. If I express myself too much, they tend to back off.
Then you're absolutely not with with the right men, L. Seriously.
I'm always surprised by how many people say things like that ("I used to let my guard down, but someone took advantage of my vulnerability, so now I want to keep my guard up"). I can't imagine thinking that way. Letting one's guard down really means letting someone see you as you are, doesn't it? How can that not be the right thing to do? If they don't like who you are, the logical response wouldn't be "Well, then, I'd better change who I am," but rather "I'd better find someone who likes who I am" - right? Well, it's the same thing with letting one's guard down.
Someone like you, especially - who has so many good qualities - should never hesitate to let people see them, in my opinion, Sweet.
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gooddogman: I am a little rusty but I am a Quick learner show me once. So I can get the feel then turn me loose..... we will be locking boot's......
No problem! Woo-hoo!
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Big_John: I rather lose the person by trying, then to lose by not letting my true feeling be known. I don't want to be sitting somewhere many years from now with a beautfitul lady and telling her how much I loved her "way back when" and she says "why didn't you tell me? I felt the same way."
I'm one to wait until he tells me. Yes, I return the sentiments, very much so.
I just have always been very independent. When I hear that song "Miss Independent" by Ne-Yo, it reminds me so much of myself.
One more thing... I'm easily embarrassed, so if I were to tell someone how I really feel & they didn't reciprocate, I would hide & never want him to see/hear from me again.
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Big_John: I rather lose the person by trying, then to lose by not letting my true feeling be known. I don't want to be sitting somewhere many years from now with a beautfitul lady and telling her how much I loved her "way back when" and she says "why didn't you tell me? I felt the same way."
Do you think that is a common male trait, BJ? To be as open as you appear to be with your feelings?
"Going out on a limb" takes a lot of courage, and risks being hurt..I feel the same as you about things, but I am unsure as to how men feel in general about being this frank..
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Ambrose2007: Then you're absolutely not with with the right men, L. Seriously.
I'm always surprised by how many people say things like that ("I used to let my guard down, but someone took advantage of my vulnerability, so now I want to keep my guard up"). I can't imagine thinking that way. Letting one's guard down really means letting someone see you as you are, doesn't it? How can that not be the right thing to do? If they don't like who you are, the logical response wouldn't be "Well, then, I'd better change who I am," but rather "I'd better find someone who likes who I am" - right? Well, it's the same thing with letting one's guard down.
Someone like you, especially - who has so many good qualities - should never hesitate to let people see them, in my opinion, Sweet.
I'm always surprised by how many people say things like that ("I used to let my guard down, but someone took advantage of my vulnerability, so now I want to keep my guard up"). I can't imagine thinking that way. Letting one's guard down really means letting someone see you as you are, doesn't it? How can that not be the right thing to do? If they don't like who you are, the logical response wouldn't be "Well, then, I'd better change who I am," but rather "I'd better find someone who likes who I am" - right? Well, it's the same thing with letting one's guard down.
Someone like you, especially - who has so many good qualities - should never hesitate to let people see them, in my opinion, Sweet.
You're absolutely right. And I'm trying. But it's very hard, when I've been this way as long as I can remember.
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sweetowen: I'm one to wait until he tells me. Yes, I return the sentiments, very much so.
I just have always been very independent. When I hear that song "Miss Independent" by Ne-Yo, it reminds me so much of myself.
One more thing... I'm easily embarrassed, so if I were to tell someone how I really feel & they didn't reciprocate, I would hide & never want him to see/hear from me again.
I just have always been very independent. When I hear that song "Miss Independent" by Ne-Yo, it reminds me so much of myself.
One more thing... I'm easily embarrassed, so if I were to tell someone how I really feel & they didn't reciprocate, I would hide & never want him to see/hear from me again.
She took the words out of my mouth.------ This thread is Archived ------
Charli15695: No problem! Woo-hoo!
I hope we don't tangel our spurs.....
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sweetowen: ....
One more thing... I'm easily embarrassed, so if I were to tell someone how I really feel & they didn't reciprocate, I would hide & never want him to see/hear from me again.
One more thing... I'm easily embarrassed, so if I were to tell someone how I really feel & they didn't reciprocate, I would hide & never want him to see/hear from me again.
Just out of curiosity, would you do the same thing if someone revealed their feelings to you but you did not feel that way about them? As in would you simply cut off any and all communication with them out of embarrassment or whatever?
You of course don't have to answer, just thought I would ask because of something in my past...
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petalbabe: Do you think that is a common male trait, BJ? To be as open as you appear to be with your feelings?
"Going out on a limb" takes a lot of courage, and risks being hurt..I feel the same as you about things, but I am unsure as to how men feel in general about being this frank..
"Going out on a limb" takes a lot of courage, and risks being hurt..I feel the same as you about things, but I am unsure as to how men feel in general about being this frank..
I cant speak for other guys, but for me, i am an open book.. I have no secrets,, if a woman wants to know something, just ask me..I will answer any question... but I also admire independence in a woman.. but i dont know about wanting a needy girl.. i want her to know that i am there for them if they need me. but,,, that is my opinion..
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sweetowen: I'm one to wait until he tells me. Yes, I return the sentiments, very much so.
I just have always been very independent. When I hear that song "Miss Independent" by Ne-Yo, it reminds me so much of myself.
One more thing... I'm easily embarrassed, so if I were to tell someone how I really feel & they didn't reciprocate, I would hide & never want him to see/hear from me again.
I just have always been very independent. When I hear that song "Miss Independent" by Ne-Yo, it reminds me so much of myself.
One more thing... I'm easily embarrassed, so if I were to tell someone how I really feel & they didn't reciprocate, I would hide & never want him to see/hear from me again.
I have no experience with relationships. Each of us are different. We each approach our hearts carefully and how we expose it to others. However, I never see a reason to run-n-hide from a failed attempt at expressing your feeling to another. Never let your own fears stop you from expressing your heart.
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Big_John: I have no experience with relationships. Each of us are different. We each approach our hearts carefully and how we expose it to others. However, I never see a reason to run-n-hide from a failed attempt at expressing your feeling to another. Never let your own fears stop you from expressing your heart.
EXACTLY! ------ This thread is Archived ------
Shedman01: Just out of curiosity, would you do the same thing if someone revealed their feelings to you but you did not feel that way about them? As in would you simply cut off any and all communication with them out of embarrassment or whatever?
You of course don't have to answer, just thought I would ask because of something in my past...
You of course don't have to answer, just thought I would ask because of something in my past...
That's a great question! Actually, when a man tells me his feelings for me & I don't feel the same, I try to be up-front & honest with him. I always do this with the intention & hope of still remaining friends with him. I would never want to hurt/humiliate/intimidate someone. I'm one to put myself in the other person's shoes. I try to treat people the way I would want to be treated. Besides, it's so flattering.
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petalbabe: Do you think that is a common male trait, BJ? To be as open as you appear to be with your feelings?
"Going out on a limb" takes a lot of courage, and risks being hurt..I feel the same as you about things, but I am unsure as to how men feel in general about being this frank..
Petal i know this was directed to John ,But I would like to respond as well, As I get older I relise it really does not matter if I show my feelings towards someone weathter they want it or not, It is not that it takes courage as much as fear , that you may have missed the chance of a life time simply because you said nothing at all, IMO"Going out on a limb" takes a lot of courage, and risks being hurt..I feel the same as you about things, but I am unsure as to how men feel in general about being this frank..
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petalbabe: Do you think that is a common male trait, BJ? To be as open as you appear to be with your feelings?
"Going out on a limb" takes a lot of courage, and risks being hurt..I feel the same as you about things, but I am unsure as to how men feel in general about being this frank..
"Going out on a limb" takes a lot of courage, and risks being hurt..I feel the same as you about things, but I am unsure as to how men feel in general about being this frank..
I don't believe we are talking about common male traits. We are discussing how we deal with wanting a partner in our life. We are dealing with how we act and behave ourselve. It is my opinion and approach on relationships that you must put yourself out there to get whatever it is you want from the other person. Those who sit back and wait for the other one to make the first move, might be dealing with someone who is sitting back and waiting also.
Can I get hurt. Sure! Am I scared of being hurt? No. No one ever finds the love of their life by being careful.
Don't worry about what the average guy will do because the one you want to be with might not be average.
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petalbabe: Do you think that is a common male trait, BJ? To be as open as you appear to be with your feelings?
"Going out on a limb" takes a lot of courage, and risks being hurt..I feel the same as you about things, but I am unsure as to how men feel in general about being this frank..
"Going out on a limb" takes a lot of courage, and risks being hurt..I feel the same as you about things, but I am unsure as to how men feel in general about being this frank..
I have to say I am a VERY open book and it apparently is something many women are not very prepared for. LOL I just can't help it, if I am asked a question I answer it honestly, regardless. I also am not afraid to state when I feel something for someone, or for that matter when I wish I felt something for someone.
But I don't know if it is a general trait... I would like to think it is, just have no idea.
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krt4fun: I cant speak for other guys, but for me, i am an open book.. I have no secrets,, if a woman wants to know something, just ask me..I will answer any question... but I also admire independence in a woman.. but i dont know about wanting a needy girl.. i want her to know that i am there for them if they need me. but,,, that is my opinion..
Getting the balance right is tricky.. Between independence and showing you need your partner, I agree.
For a man, as well as a woman.
I personally love the feeling of being cared for, and cherished, but I dont want to be smothered. Similarly, I want my man to know I desire and need him, but am quite capable of being independent and a whole person without him.
You say, "if a woman wants to know something, just ask me".. thats a fair comment, yep. But also its equally important to volunteer your feelings and not wait to be asked. Thats what I think men find the hardest to do. Just my humble opinion though.
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Big_John: I don't believe we are talking about common male traits. We are discussing how we deal with wanting a partner in our life. We are dealing with how we act and behave ourselve. It is my opinion and approach on relationships that you must put yourself out there to get whatever it is you want from the other person. Those who sit back and wait for the other one to make the first move, might be dealing with someone who is sitting back and waiting also.
Can I get hurt. Sure! Am I scared of being hurt? No. No one ever finds the love of their life by being careful.
Don't worry about what the average guy will do because the one you want to be with might not be average.
Can I get hurt. Sure! Am I scared of being hurt? No. No one ever finds the love of their life by being careful.
Don't worry about what the average guy will do because the one you want to be with might not be average.
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Shedman01: I have to say I am a VERY open book and it apparently is something many women are not very prepared for. LOL I just can't help it, if I am asked a question I answer it honestly, regardless. I also am not afraid to state when I feel something for someone, or for that matter when I wish I felt something for someone.
But I don't know if it is a general trait... I would like to think it is, just have no idea.
But I don't know if it is a general trait... I would like to think it is, just have no idea.
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I am a little rusty but I am a Quick learner show me once. So I can get the feel then turn me loose.....