Who 'needs' a partner? (238)
You betcha! Texas swing & 2 step --- slip on your boots and let's goooooooooooo! 
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No, I don't need one.
I've been single a good while now. I am not dependent on a relationship but I do of course miss company from time to time.
I think it's only natural.
When I was younger I was a serial dater though! Learned alot!
Now I have no problem waiting out for someone I really want as opposed to someone for the time being.
I've been single a good while now. I am not dependent on a relationship but I do of course miss company from time to time.
I think it's only natural.
When I was younger I was a serial dater though! Learned alot!
Now I have no problem waiting out for someone I really want as opposed to someone for the time being.
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Sommerauer71: I'm pleased you responded Petal, as I consider you to be a poster who I enjoy and certainly gain alot from your posts.
My limited introduction to this topic was for a purpose. To see how people would react.
When I ask 'need' I mean need, because the physical side, the emotional side are all needs, are they not?
I find that women do not want to be seen as 'needy'
I'm happy to admit that I need a partner to meet the physical and wmotional needs I have.
If I have a physical 'need' then I cannot change it to a 'want'
If I have an emotional 'need' from a person, tied in with lovemaking and need all of that, then I cannot change it to a want.
Do you see where I am going with this?
Sommer... I see what you are getting at and I think why you are saying what you are saying ..... is it because you have found the love of your life and now you "need" him in all aspects of your life because you just can't see yourself without him now, very lucky man I would sayMy limited introduction to this topic was for a purpose. To see how people would react.
When I ask 'need' I mean need, because the physical side, the emotional side are all needs, are they not?
I find that women do not want to be seen as 'needy'
I'm happy to admit that I need a partner to meet the physical and wmotional needs I have.
If I have a physical 'need' then I cannot change it to a 'want'
If I have an emotional 'need' from a person, tied in with lovemaking and need all of that, then I cannot change it to a want.
Do you see where I am going with this?
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petalbabe: Oops, sorry, pressed the wrong button above!!
Yes, I do, Sommer..
I do have an emotional "need" to share, definately. I think its a natural urge to want to have a mate to share those feelings with, and I certainly dont consider a weakness or being "needy" in the general derogatory sense of the world. I admit, I love that feeling of "needing"; its lovely. Its lovely to feel that strongly about someone that you ache for them, and need them to be near you.
Neediness is often a word used wrongly; it can be a very positive, and empowering feeling. Desperation and neediness are two different things, arnt they?
A physical need is something you cant deny, and I dont want too!!
Yes, I do, Sommer..
I do have an emotional "need" to share, definately. I think its a natural urge to want to have a mate to share those feelings with, and I certainly dont consider a weakness or being "needy" in the general derogatory sense of the world. I admit, I love that feeling of "needing"; its lovely. Its lovely to feel that strongly about someone that you ache for them, and need them to be near you.
Neediness is often a word used wrongly; it can be a very positive, and empowering feeling. Desperation and neediness are two different things, arnt they?
A physical need is something you cant deny, and I dont want too!!
Lol. I thought your quoting to me meant you had nothing to say!
I'm with you, I do not see it as weakness, to need a person to share our lives.
I agree, neediness is a word that is often misunderstood. I have been clear from when I joined her, that I needed a partner, to share my life, but not in the sense of being 'needy' and to support low self esteem. I do not suffer that. Many people do.
I don't need a partner to prop me up, I need a man to support me in the emotional sense, to do all the lovely things that we all love. A hug, lying on the sofa together, laughing at a dog that wags it's tail because it is happy to be out walking.
I think we mislead people, we can all shout that we are independent, we are, but there has to be room for a man, or a woman in our lives, otherwise there would not be much point in us being here.
We are here because we want and need a partner.
I will be interested to see how this discussion goes.
I'm back to work, marking to do...
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I think "need" is a basic human trait. We are generally sociable creatures, and the desire to connect with someone is grown-in characteristic. Its not a weakness, or something that make us less independent.
I too can change a fuse (just), and carry heavy bags (if I have too
) and generally look after myself. And I can stay reasonably happy and content if I am single for any length of time. I can also satisfy myself physically, as and when I want to..
But I cannot deny that I feel happiest when Im with someone; purely because it allows me to give and receive pleasure, physically and emotionally, and giving is a lovely feeling..
I too can change a fuse (just), and carry heavy bags (if I have too
) and generally look after myself. And I can stay reasonably happy and content if I am single for any length of time. I can also satisfy myself physically, as and when I want to..But I cannot deny that I feel happiest when Im with someone; purely because it allows me to give and receive pleasure, physically and emotionally, and giving is a lovely feeling..
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I don't know about men liking "needy" women, but speaking for myself, I find a woman really, really wanting to be with me to be a turn-on. I want to know that she's not just "casually" missing me - but that there's a pit of heartache, etc., when I'm not around. And if I didn't feel that way toward my "SO" then I would suspect something's missing between us.
Exactly, Ambrose...I agree..
Exactly, Ambrose...I agree..
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In response to: Do you need one?
Go....
Go....
No i dont need one am managing very well on my own
Would like one, yes for sure, would like to spend time with that someone special
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Ambrose2007: I don't know about men liking "needy" women, but speaking for myself, I find a woman really, really wanting to be with me to be a turn-on. I want to know that she's not just "casually" missing me - but that there's a pit of heartache, etc., when I'm not around. And if I didn't feel that way toward my "SO" then I would suspect something's missing between us.
Mortalez brought up the issue of neediness in one of his relatively recent threads, arguing that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. I would agree - to an extent. Of course, the "extent" is where the devil's details lie, if you know what I mean.
Mortalez brought up the issue of neediness in one of his relatively recent threads, arguing that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. I would agree - to an extent. Of course, the "extent" is where the devil's details lie, if you know what I mean.
Oh, I agree and I will respind in depth later. Hi J.
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jessejess47: Sommer... I see what you are getting at and I think why you are saying what you are saying ..... is it because you have found the love of your life and now you "need" him in all aspects of your life because you just can't see yourself without him now, very lucky man I would say
Is he the 'love of my life?' He is one of the loves of my life.
A bird singing to welcome spring, my children laughing down the telephone line, I have many loves of my life.
I will explain later Jesse.
I have to return to work, but it is an interesting comment.
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Ambrose2007: I don't know about men liking "needy" women, but speaking for myself, I find a woman really, really wanting to be with me to be a turn-on. I want to know that she's not just "casually" missing me - but that there's a pit of heartache, etc., when I'm not around. And if I didn't feel that way toward my "SO" then I would suspect something's missing between us.
Mortalez brought up the issue of neediness in one of his relatively recent threads, arguing that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. I would agree - to an extent. Of course, the "extent" is where the devil's details lie, if you know what I mean.
Mortalez brought up the issue of neediness in one of his relatively recent threads, arguing that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. I would agree - to an extent. Of course, the "extent" is where the devil's details lie, if you know what I mean.
This week I broke it off with a lovely lady I had been communicating with from Colorado for this very reason. I felt that she truly didn't express a strong desire to be with me. As a man I need to be stroked. I need to feel we are a "team". That the team needs to be together. Exressing your independance too much to me is not a good thing. Go out of the limb and let your heart hurt for the other person. Let your partner know you need him and do it often.
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petalbabe: I think "need" is a basic human trait. We are generally sociable creatures, and the desire to connect with someone is grown-in characteristic. Its not a weakness, or something that make us less independent.
I too can change a fuse (just), and carry heavy bags (if I have too ) and generally look after myself. And I can stay reasonably happy and content if I am single for any length of time. I can also satisfy myself physically, as and when I want to..
But I cannot deny that I feel happiest when Im with someone; purely because it allows me to give and receive pleasure, physically and emotionally, and giving is a lovely feeling..
I too can change a fuse (just), and carry heavy bags (if I have too ) and generally look after myself. And I can stay reasonably happy and content if I am single for any length of time. I can also satisfy myself physically, as and when I want to..
But I cannot deny that I feel happiest when Im with someone; purely because it allows me to give and receive pleasure, physically and emotionally, and giving is a lovely feeling..
Petalbabe....I think that says it all, I wish I could have put it as well as you have.
I will keep your post and use it, if I may. It certainly describes my situation and my thinking.
Thank you for a lovely and concise contribution.
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Big_John: This week I broke it off with a lovely lady I had been communicating with from Colorado for this very reason. I felt that she truly didn't express a strong desire to be with me. As a man I need to be stroked. I need to feel we are a "team". That the team needs to be together. Exressing your independance too much to me is not a good thing. Go out of the limb and let your heart hurt for the other person. Let your partner know you need him and do it often.
Exactly. It is important.
I like this post John.
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Sommerauer71: Do you need one?
Go....
Go....
I suppose this would depend on the use of the term need...
Do I need a partner in order to survive? No.
Do I need a partner in order to feel like a whole person? No.
Do I need a partner in order to make my life what I want? Yes.
Can I have a fulfilling life without a partner? Yes.
To explain my Yes answers above, I will offer the following.
To me a fulfilling life is one in which there are no regrets, no remorse, nothing I would change, ever. This I can do as a single person. So even without a 'partner' I am able to do this. Not exactly what I would like to do, but I can.
As for the other yes above, to me there are people who were simply born to be single. Those who never long for someone to share their life with every morning they wake up, and every night when they go to bed...
I am NOT one of those people. I am one of the other kind, the kind that thrives on compared understanding of the world around us. The kind that needs to share life with another in order to experience the world twice every day. Once through my mind, and once through her her mind. It is a need I have to feel intimacy within my mind.
I also am easily able to say I need physical touch. I very much depend upon physical contact and I am a very touch oriented individual. Because of this there is a further depth to my needs of intimacy, and being next to someone while I sleep is simply energizing and grants me much better sleep then if there is no one there. It is one of the reasons I have always had at least one pet, usually more.
So for me to live the life that I find the most suitable, and desirable, I would have to answer the question asked, in at least as much as the above, with a resounding yes, I need an intimate companion.
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Big_John: This week I broke it off with a lovely lady I had been communicating with from Colorado for this very reason. I felt that she truly didn't express a strong desire to be with me. As a man I need to be stroked. I need to feel we are a "team". That the team needs to be together. Exressing your independance too much to me is not a good thing. Go out of the limb and let your heart hurt for the other person. Let your partner know you need him and do it often.
Agree, BJ
Thats why I mention alot on here about feminism having a negative effect sometimes..
A lot of modern ladies think that they have to prove how independent they are, and say "I dont need a man, no way..".. Because they think if they admit they do, it will be shown as a weakness. Its not.
Needing someone so much it hurts, is a beautiful feeling. As you say, "go out on a limb"..Most of the time, it will be appreciated and returned ten fold..
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oztrack: Petalbabe....I think that says it all, I wish I could have put it as well as you have.
I will keep your post and use it, if I may. It certainly describes my situation and my thinking.
Thank you for a lovely and concise contribution.
I will keep your post and use it, if I may. It certainly describes my situation and my thinking.
Thank you for a lovely and concise contribution.
Petal is the best, she can have a brilliant discussion and I am going to look forward to all contibutions whilst I am bossing students around.
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oztrack: Petalbabe....I think that says it all, I wish I could have put it as well as you have.
I will keep your post and use it, if I may. It certainly describes my situation and my thinking.
Thank you for a lovely and concise contribution.
I will keep your post and use it, if I may. It certainly describes my situation and my thinking.
Thank you for a lovely and concise contribution.
You are welcome, oztrack, and yes of course you can use it, if you wish!
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Big_John: This week I broke it off with a lovely lady I had been communicating with from Colorado for this very reason. I felt that she truly didn't express a strong desire to be with me. As a man I need to be stroked. I need to feel we are a "team". That the team needs to be together. Exressing your independance too much to me is not a good thing. Go out of the limb and let your heart hurt for the other person. Let your partner know you need him and do it often.
My past experience has been that just when I let myself be vulnerable, they leave. So, my guard is always up. If I express myself too much, they tend to back off.
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Ambrose2007: I don't know about men liking "needy" women, but speaking for myself, I find a woman really, really wanting to be with me to be a turn-on. I want to know that she's not just "casually" missing me - but that there's a pit of heartache, etc., when I'm not around. And if I didn't feel that way toward my "SO" then I would suspect something's missing between us.
Mortalez brought up the issue of neediness in one of his relatively recent threads, arguing that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. I would agree - to an extent. Of course, the "extent" is where the devil's details lie, if you know what I mean.
Mortalez brought up the issue of neediness in one of his relatively recent threads, arguing that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. I would agree - to an extent. Of course, the "extent" is where the devil's details lie, if you know what I mean.
I should have read the thread before posting... LOL This pretty much says what I was trying to say.
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Big_John: This week I broke it off with a lovely lady I had been communicating with from Colorado for this very reason. I felt that she truly didn't express a strong desire to be with me. As a man I need to be stroked. I need to feel we are a "team". That the team needs to be together. Exressing your independance too much to me is not a good thing. Go out of the limb and let your heart hurt for the other person. Let your partner know you need him and do it often.
I agree completely. I call "exercising your independence too much" to be an expression of ambivalence. I wouldn't want to feel ambivalent about someone or for them to feel that way about me.
I think you did the right thing, John.
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I don't know about men liking "needy" women, but speaking for myself, I find a woman really, really wanting to be with me to be a turn-on. I want to know that she's not just "casually" missing me - but that there's a pit of heartache, etc., when I'm not around. And if I didn't feel that way toward my "SO" then I would suspect something's missing between us.
Mortalez brought up the issue of neediness in one of his relatively recent threads, arguing that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. I would agree - to an extent. Of course, the "extent" is where the devil's details lie, if you know what I mean.