The voyages and adventures of the Connectus and the Singulus ( Archived) (886)

were?

so does that mean the we no longer "are"?

thank you sweetie...

as for music taste this is more down my alley



actually this is the greatest song of all time !!!!!

Oh don't sulk, it is not good for my heaving bosom....

Housekeeping again...

Atlantic ocean, 1754,

Two ships battling high seas and ferocious storms, on the poopdeck of the "Connectus", stood SND, his long flowing golden locks emanating from the sides and back of his head, while on top of his head, his left to right combover had succumbed to the wind and the hair, like individual fingers were now waving from side to side its motion like a cobra when charmed by the movement of a charmers flute, hypnotising and yet a little disturbing....

Captain SND looked over out of the port side of his ship and saw the handsome, proud, extremely handsome figure of ARG on the bow of his ship the mighty "Singulus." His loud manly laugh taunting the tempest, and for a fleeting moment SND thought to himself "curse your rugged good looks ARG, you and your full head of hair,you perfect teeth and your deep commanding voice" "If only this storm would but teach you a lesson, i would cackle with
mirth and delight .... and have something to tell the boys back at home in the pub".

It was as if the Great Neptune himself heard the quiet thoughts of SND, for at that very moment a great wave suddenly lifted the Singulus, throwing ARG overboard, managing to grab a rope ARG was swung out and away from the ship, the ship rolled and ARG was swung back towards the deck, but he was too low, there was a sickening 'thud' as ARG's manly body hit the side of the Singulus, the ship rolled again, and out he swung, then back towards the ship with a thud, SND was sure that on the fifth thud he heard ARG calling for his mother...

SND did not cakle with mirth but instead quietly laughed and uttered a single word....."Numpty"...

Introducing

Turnip73 as the drinky drinky Priest
Tainogirl as the Evil Pirate Queen
Outrageous as the Innkeeper
Goddess4u Also as the Innkeeper and the twin of Outrageous.

Below decks on board the 'Singulus' a figure snored in a bunk, a dull "thud" as the ship pitched and sent an empty rum bottle rolling across the floor...the slumbering figure grunted, forced out a high pitched strangled fart, rolled over and continued to snore.

An arm now dangled over the side of the bunk and clutched in the stubby fingers was a rosary and the cork from the empty rum bottle, Turnip73 the preist had seen better days, he
was once to recieve a promotion from Rome which would have meant him becoming a Cardinal but, an unfortunate encounter with Tainogirl the Evil pirate Queen put an end to that..
This day, however, would be the day that he got his revenge when they made port in Tortilla.....

So now he spent his days drinking on the Singulus and performed the odd burial at sea which was a haphazard affair that often saw him follow the casket into the sea on account of his drunkardness, the crew often bet amongst themselves how long it would take for him to hit the water....

In the port of Tortilla, the realtive peace of the morning is shattered when a door explodes off it hinges as a man is hurled out into the street "and dont bring your t'eaving, conniving, good for notting, scallywag bot back, you ere me?"

In the doorway stood Outrageous, a dark haired beautiful woman with a lightly tanned complexion and a generous bust that had hypnotised many a man that had come these ways...... "And t'at goes for you too, you no good bom!" as another man was thrown out into the street"

Standing next to Outrageous was Goddess4U her twin sister equally as beautiful as her twin she too feared no man, for ruuning an Inn the twins had learnt very quickly where their strengths lay, it was a rumour around Tortilla that the twins were known as the "sisters of mercy" for when they had thier men in the throes of passion they would not cease until the men were begging for their lives...

more to come..

Introducing:
Tainogirl - Evil Pirate Queen
G33kgurl - also Evil Pirate Queen

The two ships finally sailed out of the storm that had hampered their progress for 3 days and as they sailed into calmer waters and sunshine they spotted a sail on the horizon. Captain SND peered through the telescope and quietly swore under his breath.

If Captain SND had to circumnavigate the globe for the rest of his life the last people he wanted to ever encounter
again were sailing towards him on two seperate ships flying pirate colours.

Geminiman61 shuffled up alongside the captain and asked "orders sir?"
"Hoist the colours!!! trim the mainsail!!! all crew to battle stations!!! Runout the portside cannons!!
"Aye aye Captain"
Snd turned to his trusted bodyguard "Mr Geminiman61, i do believe that we are about to have ourselves a skirmish with
an enemy so cunning and devious that no navy in the entire world has ever stood up to them,"
"an enemy that the devil himself would not accept in hades on account of them being too evil even for him.

"Is it Tainogirl and G33kgurl again sah?" queried Geminiman61...
"i'm afraid so" replied SND
"Sah, if you dont mind me saying so, in hindsight it probably was not the best idea to run off with their sister Sommerauer71, specially seeing as you and G33kgurl were betrothed."

"First of all, i'll thank you to keep your opinion to yourself, but, yes, you are right but Sommerauer71 has well, a
rather ample treasure chest as it were" Replied SND as he winked at his bodyguard.
"Oh and one more thing, Geminiman61 is too long a name for you, so i think purposes of expediency and the conservation of breath and words i will call you Betty, understand?
"Aye Captain" replied Betty
"Whats your name?"
"Betty"
"Excellent."

Over on the Singulus, Captain ARG had finally climbed back on board after spending the last 48 hours panel beating the side of the Singulus with his forehead, fortunately there was not a scratch on his fine features, looking across to the
Connectus he saw the colours being hoisted and the cannons being run out, he reached for his telescope and saw the
reason for this urgent action.

ARG called to his executive officer "Run out the starboard cannon, hoist the colours and trim the mainsail" oh and wake
the priest, he is going to want to have a piece of this battle"
"aye aye captain" replied the XO as he turned and barked off the captains orders to the crew...

more to come..

I;ll read this tomorrow, it is am sure, wonderful.

This Wench is knackered and she needs to sleep.

Superb thread, again.