His emails are really nice, but.... (47)
Seems to me that you've got a couple of options.
I would suggest honesty, if there is no way you will be attracted to him (for whatever reason) - don't string him along.
Failing that, you could be direct with him and suggest you remain friends. But he may not agree with this.
Or, you could get to know him. Perhaps once you get to know him a bit better he will become better looking to you - by that I mean you will be attracted to 'him' - the person inside.
I would suggest honesty, if there is no way you will be attracted to him (for whatever reason) - don't string him along.
Failing that, you could be direct with him and suggest you remain friends. But he may not agree with this.
Or, you could get to know him. Perhaps once you get to know him a bit better he will become better looking to you - by that I mean you will be attracted to 'him' - the person inside.
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be honest.....
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mexikanska: be honest.....
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If he's in your area I would suggest you try to meet. A picture doesn't always tell you what the person really looks like, if you know what I mean. There could be a spark when you meet face to face. And you'll never know that until you meet him. I would talk to him on the phone and see how the conversation goes. You can keep it more on the friend side until you two are able to meet up and see what happens from there.
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i know its hard to break sumones heart its never easy!
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pictures can be very deceiving
if ye get on well with each other y not
ye might enjoy urself
if ye get on well with each other y not
ye might enjoy urself
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Leading him on is not right, and that is what you are doing. False hope.........
Tell him upfront that you are not compatible and leave it at that. If he insists on knowing why then tell him the truth.
Tell him upfront that you are not compatible and leave it at that. If he insists on knowing why then tell him the truth.
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Talk to him by phone, if you still have reservations then let him down gently.
But if you get along well by phone then meet him and see how it goes.
Dont worry yet that you are not finding him attractive by just one photo. We all look different in the flesh. You might be pleasantly surprised when you meet him.
But if you get along well by phone then meet him and see how it goes.
Dont worry yet that you are not finding him attractive by just one photo. We all look different in the flesh. You might be pleasantly surprised when you meet him.
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scorpiosiren: pictures can be very deceiving
if ye get on well with each other y not
ye might enjoy urself
if ye get on well with each other y not
ye might enjoy urself
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I think that is your choice abut the whole thing, I mean if you want to or not to is up to you, alot of good suggestions here.
once I posted what I thought was a good picture of myself and after thought why not put the other one up also, the other pic was when I was burnt out from work and had slight black rings around my eyes,
Short time later I met a Lady that I really liked and spoke to over the phone, that did not go anywhere but met another that chased me down and told all her pals I looked better in person...
Go figure....
once I posted what I thought was a good picture of myself and after thought why not put the other one up also, the other pic was when I was burnt out from work and had slight black rings around my eyes,
Short time later I met a Lady that I really liked and spoke to over the phone, that did not go anywhere but met another that chased me down and told all her pals I looked better in person...
Go figure....
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If you met him on here isn't it possible he's reading this thread right now?
I see no harm in meeting him for a cup of coffee and if you don't feel anything, then you can tell him so. At least he won't be able to say "But you haven't even met me so how would you know?"
On another note, no offense but you're 39 never married & no kids, you say in your profile you like to take relationships slow. Do you think picking up the pace a little might be in order?
I see no harm in meeting him for a cup of coffee and if you don't feel anything, then you can tell him so. At least he won't be able to say "But you haven't even met me so how would you know?"
On another note, no offense but you're 39 never married & no kids, you say in your profile you like to take relationships slow. Do you think picking up the pace a little might be in order?
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Can't always go by the picture. 
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SatelliteServer: I think that is your choice abut the whole thing, I mean if you want to or not to is up to you, alot of good suggestions here.
once I posted what I thought was a good picture of myself and after thought why not put the other one up also, the other pic was when I was burnt out from work and had slight black rings around my eyes,
Short time later I met a Lady that I really liked and spoke to over the phone, that did not go anywhere but met another that chased me down and told all her pals I looked better in person...
Go figure....
So how come you dont have a pic of yourself up now? We ladies like to see who we are talking to.once I posted what I thought was a good picture of myself and after thought why not put the other one up also, the other pic was when I was burnt out from work and had slight black rings around my eyes,
Short time later I met a Lady that I really liked and spoke to over the phone, that did not go anywhere but met another that chased me down and told all her pals I looked better in person...
Go figure....
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jeepers: Can't always go by the picture.
That's true, I'm much purdier in person.
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catlynn04: Hi,
I have a bit of a dilemma going about someone I've met on here. I've met a guy who seems really nice in his emails. He did not have a picture, but he wrote me and I decided to respond because he's in my area. Normally I like to see a picture first to see if I would be attracted to the person (I don't want to sound shallow, but attracton for me is an important factor when deciding to meet/date someone).
I asked him to send me a picture and he did. He picture was ok, but I didn't find him very attractive. I didn't tell him this.. when he asked about it later I said the picture was 'fine'. Anyway, we're still emailing, haven't talked on the phone yet.. he's suggested we talk, but I'm trying to decide if I should tell him I think we won't be compatible (for dating, though I won't mention that part) or go ahead and agree to talk on the phone. After all, maybe if nothing else, he and I could be friends, if he agrees to that.
I guess in the future I need to be sure I see the person's picture first before continuing to email and thus possibly getting his hopes up that we might meet.
Thoughts, anyone?
Thanks in advance.
I have a bit of a dilemma going about someone I've met on here. I've met a guy who seems really nice in his emails. He did not have a picture, but he wrote me and I decided to respond because he's in my area. Normally I like to see a picture first to see if I would be attracted to the person (I don't want to sound shallow, but attracton for me is an important factor when deciding to meet/date someone).
I asked him to send me a picture and he did. He picture was ok, but I didn't find him very attractive. I didn't tell him this.. when he asked about it later I said the picture was 'fine'. Anyway, we're still emailing, haven't talked on the phone yet.. he's suggested we talk, but I'm trying to decide if I should tell him I think we won't be compatible (for dating, though I won't mention that part) or go ahead and agree to talk on the phone. After all, maybe if nothing else, he and I could be friends, if he agrees to that.
I guess in the future I need to be sure I see the person's picture first before continuing to email and thus possibly getting his hopes up that we might meet.
Thoughts, anyone?
Thanks in advance.
Honestly, I don't go by a pic. I've met men that were very photogenic but looked bad in person, and I've met men who were not very photogenic but looked great in person. (A category I fall into, btw...I look better in person than my pics, and that's not just my opinion.)
So...meet him and give him a chance. You could be pleasantly surprised. And honestly, looks shouldn't be as important as the person inside. Looks fade with the years, but personality is permanent.
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druidess6308: Honestly, I don't go by a pic. I've met men that were very photogenic but looked bad in person, and I've met men who were not very photogenic but looked great in person. (A category I fall into, btw...I look better in person than my pics, and that's not just my opinion.)
So...meet him and give him a chance. You could be pleasantly surprised. And honestly, looks shouldn't be as important as the person inside. Looks fade with the years, but personality is permanent.
Exactly, looks dont matter when the lights are out and you snuggle in.So...meet him and give him a chance. You could be pleasantly surprised. And honestly, looks shouldn't be as important as the person inside. Looks fade with the years, but personality is permanent.
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you just gotta be honest realy if hes looking to date he should be forward enough to have a photo on his profile its only fair. Physical atraction is a major thing and it dose not make you shallow.
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i hope the poor man doesnt see the thread
youd be surprised how many read these forums and dont post
pictures are deceiving
not everyone is photogenic and some are and dont look as good in real life
looks fade
character is forever
youd be surprised how many read these forums and dont post
pictures are deceiving
not everyone is photogenic and some are and dont look as good in real life
looks fade
character is forever
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catlynn04:
....(I don't want to sound shallow, but attracton for me is an important factor when deciding to meet/date someone).
....(I don't want to sound shallow, but attracton for me is an important factor when deciding to meet/date someone).
That is not shallow. That is called your right to choose. Some people seem to think they have a roght to choose but anyone who doesn't choose them is "Shallow". Dare I say it ... Yeah I will. That type of hypocritical behaviour is a very unatractive trait.
In response to: I asked him to send me a picture and he did. He picture was ok, but I didn't find him very attractive. I didn't tell him this.. when he asked about it later I said the picture was 'fine'. Anyway, we're still emailing, haven't talked on the phone yet.. he's suggested we talk, but I'm trying to decide if I should tell him I think we won't be compatible (for dating, though I won't mention that part) or go ahead and agree to talk on the phone. After all, maybe if nothing else, he and I could be friends, if he agrees to that.
Hey, if you don't post a pic then you can't be disapointed when someone does see you and decide, "Nope, not for me." Posting a pi has it advantages and disadvantages ... nut then so does being endowed with a large nose. Learn to live with it.
No one has any compulsion to find anyone else attractive enough to bonk. That's life.
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I have a bit of a dilemma going about someone I've met on here. I've met a guy who seems really nice in his emails. He did not have a picture, but he wrote me and I decided to respond because he's in my area. Normally I like to see a picture first to see if I would be attracted to the person (I don't want to sound shallow, but attracton for me is an important factor when deciding to meet/date someone).
I asked him to send me a picture and he did. He picture was ok, but I didn't find him very attractive. I didn't tell him this.. when he asked about it later I said the picture was 'fine'. Anyway, we're still emailing, haven't talked on the phone yet.. he's suggested we talk, but I'm trying to decide if I should tell him I think we won't be compatible (for dating, though I won't mention that part) or go ahead and agree to talk on the phone. After all, maybe if nothing else, he and I could be friends, if he agrees to that.
I guess in the future I need to be sure I see the person's picture first before continuing to email and thus possibly getting his hopes up that we might meet.
Thoughts, anyone?
Thanks in advance.