To love, honor and OBEY??? ( Archived) (55)

Me, too, but I got married in '86...

But don't traditional wedding vows state the man is supposed to protect and serve? -- no wait; that's on the side of police cars -- hmm..something like that...

anyway, he's supposed to do something ...oh yeah! "...take out the trash and mow the grass,"...

...but it makes her promise to "obey."

Hell would freeze over, melt, and freeze over again before I'd ever "obey" any man.

It is outdated...

If I were to marry again I would not want to go through the traditional church vows rigmarole. How much nicer it would be to come up with some meaningful and egalitarian words!

Maybe cherish or respect would fit beter. Obey is something a dog does lol.

An antiquated social contract that looks good on paper but in reality is a hard thing to accomplish. All three are promises. Love is a promise of friendship. Honor is to make good on one's promise. Obey that a bride used to make to a groom. The problem of obeying is that obeying might be in the best interest of the contract being made. It becomes a contradiction in terms when all three are applied together. To obey means that the woman is not seen as an adult but as a child. This might work in a parent child relationship but even that is a stretch of the imagination. Children do not always obey. To honor love is obey love but not neccesary to obey another person. To not honor love is a breach of the social contract thereby making it null and void.

Just for clarification, I was only questioning the "obey" part. But yes, it definitely puts the husband in a position of authority over the wife..which is absurd...but there are people who still believe that...even women, believe it or not. sheesh

This is a good one Jean.. and can be looked at in different ways. I'm the kind of lady that under certain situations.. like danger or even something that you just simply have your man's back on.. its important to obey requests... I know there must be somethings that you would love to ask or even tell your man to do to better your situations. I like to be the supporting woman a man expects me to be and expect that in return.. I dont mean to use murder as an example.. but figuretivly (sp ha) speaking.. if my guy commanded me to pick up the shovel and dig.. how fast and how deep? Feel what I'm saying...
There's a difference between fullfilling your guys needs and your guy treating you like your live in Iran. It all depends on how you look at "obey"
Love and honesty.. come on now yeahhhhh

Your objection is duly noted.

I don't think that having "my man's back" is the same thing as obeying.

Danger? Like women are too stupid to recognize danger when they see it and/or do something about it without "her man" barking orders at her to "get out of the way?"

I'm not sure in what context you mean this. If anyone was to hollar, "LOOK OUT!" only the most foolish would stand there and say "I don't have to do what you say," rather than just getting the hell out of the way, without question.

Being supportive is not "obeying."

Fulfilling your guy's needs is not "obeying."

However, having said that, if my guy told me to pick up a shovel and dig, I'd say, "Sure..what do you want on your tombstone?" And I'm not talking pizza, either.

NO way! I had the "obey" removed both times....