Why you are Unhappy. (142)
That is the best thread I have seen you start OP. You have got a brain!
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I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way
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gardenhackle: 1. you aren't honest.
2. you don't respect yourself.
3. you aren't responsible.
There you have it. YOU are the source of your unhappiness.
Now, you're probably either wondering who I'm talking about or are about to hit the "respond" button and unleash an emotionally charged vitriolic diatribe filled with righteous indignation because you self-identified and immediately felt attacked by those 3 unflattering bullet points and being unhappy makes it easy to lash-out at people. If you're the latter, relax. It's not really about you and it's not personal and it's not an indictment of you or your character. It's just a line of reasoning. The bad news is that YOU are responsible for your own happiness. And that's also the good news because it means that you can abandon that unhappiness whenever you are ready to do so. Now to explain the three bullet points.
1. You aren't honest. While you may be as honest as you can imagine with everyone else, you aren't honest with yourself. Or maybe let's say you're not honest ENOUGH with yourself, if that sounds better to you. Here's an exercise in being honest with yourself. Ask and answer the following questions in order.
In order to be happy, what do you want out of life? List those things.
What action are you taking today toward achieving those goals for happiness?
If the answer to that is "nothing", then you should ask yourself "why not" and "Do I really want that".
People working toward their goals tend to feel good about themselves, feel optimstic, empowered and positive, all resulting in a high level of self respect. i.e. You are happy.
2. Being unwilling to accept the only two baseline options for any situation (change it) or (accept it) means that you would rather wallow in angst than choose one of the two courses of action and embrace your decision. Knowing your options, choosing one and acting on that choice frees you. But you have to respect yourself enough to be honest and truthful with yourself. You CAN change your situation and refusing to acknowledge that is actually disrespecting yourself through contempt for your own personal strength, value, ability and autonomy.
3. You aren't responsible. Happiness is personal. It's YOURS. You can be happy living in a grass hut and you can be unhappy living in a mansion. Be honest with yourself about what makes you happy. Do something and take action on that honest evaluation and take responsibility for it. Happiness won't find you. You must find it.
So there is the line of philosophical reasoning and, of course, it's open to discussion, agreement or dissent.
This is so true, thanks for this thread, many need to learn from it.2. you don't respect yourself.
3. you aren't responsible.
There you have it. YOU are the source of your unhappiness.
Now, you're probably either wondering who I'm talking about or are about to hit the "respond" button and unleash an emotionally charged vitriolic diatribe filled with righteous indignation because you self-identified and immediately felt attacked by those 3 unflattering bullet points and being unhappy makes it easy to lash-out at people. If you're the latter, relax. It's not really about you and it's not personal and it's not an indictment of you or your character. It's just a line of reasoning. The bad news is that YOU are responsible for your own happiness. And that's also the good news because it means that you can abandon that unhappiness whenever you are ready to do so. Now to explain the three bullet points.
1. You aren't honest. While you may be as honest as you can imagine with everyone else, you aren't honest with yourself. Or maybe let's say you're not honest ENOUGH with yourself, if that sounds better to you. Here's an exercise in being honest with yourself. Ask and answer the following questions in order.
In order to be happy, what do you want out of life? List those things.
What action are you taking today toward achieving those goals for happiness?
If the answer to that is "nothing", then you should ask yourself "why not" and "Do I really want that".
People working toward their goals tend to feel good about themselves, feel optimstic, empowered and positive, all resulting in a high level of self respect. i.e. You are happy.
2. Being unwilling to accept the only two baseline options for any situation (change it) or (accept it) means that you would rather wallow in angst than choose one of the two courses of action and embrace your decision. Knowing your options, choosing one and acting on that choice frees you. But you have to respect yourself enough to be honest and truthful with yourself. You CAN change your situation and refusing to acknowledge that is actually disrespecting yourself through contempt for your own personal strength, value, ability and autonomy.
3. You aren't responsible. Happiness is personal. It's YOURS. You can be happy living in a grass hut and you can be unhappy living in a mansion. Be honest with yourself about what makes you happy. Do something and take action on that honest evaluation and take responsibility for it. Happiness won't find you. You must find it.
So there is the line of philosophical reasoning and, of course, it's open to discussion, agreement or dissent.
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Im unhappy because I cant find my keys
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gardenhackle: 1. you aren't honest.
2. you don't respect yourself.
3. you aren't responsible.
There you have it. YOU are the source of your unhappiness.
Now, you're probably either wondering who I'm talking about or are about to hit the "respond" button and unleash an emotionally charged vitriolic diatribe filled with righteous indignation because you self-identified and immediately felt attacked by those 3 unflattering bullet points and being unhappy makes it easy to lash-out at people. If you're the latter, relax. It's not really about you and it's not personal and it's not an indictment of you or your character. It's just a line of reasoning. The bad news is that YOU are responsible for your own happiness. And that's also the good news because it means that you can abandon that unhappiness whenever you are ready to do so. Now to explain the three bullet points.
1. You aren't honest. While you may be as honest as you can imagine with everyone else, you aren't honest with yourself. Or maybe let's say you're not honest ENOUGH with yourself, if that sounds better to you. Here's an exercise in being honest with yourself. Ask and answer the following questions in order.
In order to be happy, what do you want out of life? List those things.
What action are you taking today toward achieving those goals for happiness?
If the answer to that is "nothing", then you should ask yourself "why not" and "Do I really want that".
People working toward their goals tend to feel good about themselves, feel optimstic, empowered and positive, all resulting in a high level of self respect. i.e. You are happy.
2. Being unwilling to accept the only two baseline options for any situation (change it) or (accept it) means that you would rather wallow in angst than choose one of the two courses of action and embrace your decision. Knowing your options, choosing one and acting on that choice frees you. But you have to respect yourself enough to be honest and truthful with yourself. You CAN change your situation and refusing to acknowledge that is actually disrespecting yourself through contempt for your own personal strength, value, ability and autonomy.
3. You aren't responsible. Happiness is personal. It's YOURS. You can be happy living in a grass hut and you can be unhappy living in a mansion. Be honest with yourself about what makes you happy. Do something and take action on that honest evaluation and take responsibility for it. Happiness won't find you. You must find it.
So there is the line of philosophical reasoning and, of course, it's open to discussion, agreement or dissent.
2. you don't respect yourself.
3. you aren't responsible.
There you have it. YOU are the source of your unhappiness.
Now, you're probably either wondering who I'm talking about or are about to hit the "respond" button and unleash an emotionally charged vitriolic diatribe filled with righteous indignation because you self-identified and immediately felt attacked by those 3 unflattering bullet points and being unhappy makes it easy to lash-out at people. If you're the latter, relax. It's not really about you and it's not personal and it's not an indictment of you or your character. It's just a line of reasoning. The bad news is that YOU are responsible for your own happiness. And that's also the good news because it means that you can abandon that unhappiness whenever you are ready to do so. Now to explain the three bullet points.
1. You aren't honest. While you may be as honest as you can imagine with everyone else, you aren't honest with yourself. Or maybe let's say you're not honest ENOUGH with yourself, if that sounds better to you. Here's an exercise in being honest with yourself. Ask and answer the following questions in order.
In order to be happy, what do you want out of life? List those things.
What action are you taking today toward achieving those goals for happiness?
If the answer to that is "nothing", then you should ask yourself "why not" and "Do I really want that".
People working toward their goals tend to feel good about themselves, feel optimstic, empowered and positive, all resulting in a high level of self respect. i.e. You are happy.
2. Being unwilling to accept the only two baseline options for any situation (change it) or (accept it) means that you would rather wallow in angst than choose one of the two courses of action and embrace your decision. Knowing your options, choosing one and acting on that choice frees you. But you have to respect yourself enough to be honest and truthful with yourself. You CAN change your situation and refusing to acknowledge that is actually disrespecting yourself through contempt for your own personal strength, value, ability and autonomy.
3. You aren't responsible. Happiness is personal. It's YOURS. You can be happy living in a grass hut and you can be unhappy living in a mansion. Be honest with yourself about what makes you happy. Do something and take action on that honest evaluation and take responsibility for it. Happiness won't find you. You must find it.
So there is the line of philosophical reasoning and, of course, it's open to discussion, agreement or dissent.
Fortunately, I am MOSTLY happy, but thanks for the good advice GH!!!
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Is good to know that u're learning the lesson...I'm proud of u....
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afterbam: Is good to know that u're learning the lesson...I'm proud of u....
Thank you for saying that. You couldn't possibly know exactly how important your approval is to me.
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gardenhackle: Thank you for saying that. You couldn't possibly know exactly how important your approval is to me.
I have a strange feeling that this message wasn`t meant for you....
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running late makes me very unhappy
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ruh roh 
people dont like to hear such things mr hackle
most dont understand these principles and in fact seem certain it is by doing these very things they will make happiness
tis a sad state of affairs this ol world
i am all about accountability and since i discovered these principles and put them into practice my life has steadily improved
with only a few side trips to screwed upville
people dont like to hear such things mr hackle
most dont understand these principles and in fact seem certain it is by doing these very things they will make happiness
tis a sad state of affairs this ol world
i am all about accountability and since i discovered these principles and put them into practice my life has steadily improved
with only a few side trips to screwed upville
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MetalMilitia: cos i havent gotten laid in about a month an a half !!!!!
try a freakin year
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The Buddha once said that 'the source of unhappiness is desire.'
Think about that for a minute, it's true.
Whether it be materialistic; a desire for someone; a wish to be like someone else etc.
In Feb '09, I began the worst period of my life. The way I'd been living for 30 years could not be sustained. I was on a downward spiral to my own destruction and I'd embraced it. In one rare lucid moment in July of that year, I realised it was my own doing. I found the strength within to take the necessary steps to stop it and claw my way back to my real self.
Some are a work in progress, others don't realise that this progress can be made. Thankfully, I opted for the former. I haven't found 'happiness', but I'm content and can sleep again.
Mindfulness is the key. How one achieves it does not matter.
Desire is the root of all unhappiness.
Think about that for a minute, it's true.
Whether it be materialistic; a desire for someone; a wish to be like someone else etc.
In Feb '09, I began the worst period of my life. The way I'd been living for 30 years could not be sustained. I was on a downward spiral to my own destruction and I'd embraced it. In one rare lucid moment in July of that year, I realised it was my own doing. I found the strength within to take the necessary steps to stop it and claw my way back to my real self.
Some are a work in progress, others don't realise that this progress can be made. Thankfully, I opted for the former. I haven't found 'happiness', but I'm content and can sleep again.
Mindfulness is the key. How one achieves it does not matter.
Desire is the root of all unhappiness.
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Blues63: The Buddha once said that 'the source of unhappiness is desire.'
Think about that for a minute, it's true.
Whether it be materialistic; a desire for someone; a wish to be like someone else etc.
In Feb '09, I began the worst period of my life. The way I'd been living for 30 years could not be sustained. I was on a downward spiral to my own destruction and I'd embraced it. In one rare lucid moment in July of that year, I realised it was my own doing. I found the strength within to take the necessary steps to stop it and claw my way back to my real self.
Some are a work in progress, others don't realise that this progress can be made. Thankfully, I opted for the former. I haven't found 'happiness', but I'm content and can sleep again.
Mindfulness is the key. How one achieves it does not matter.Desire is the root of all unhappiness.
Think about that for a minute, it's true.
Whether it be materialistic; a desire for someone; a wish to be like someone else etc.
In Feb '09, I began the worst period of my life. The way I'd been living for 30 years could not be sustained. I was on a downward spiral to my own destruction and I'd embraced it. In one rare lucid moment in July of that year, I realised it was my own doing. I found the strength within to take the necessary steps to stop it and claw my way back to my real self.
Some are a work in progress, others don't realise that this progress can be made. Thankfully, I opted for the former. I haven't found 'happiness', but I'm content and can sleep again.
Mindfulness is the key. How one achieves it does not matter.Desire is the root of all unhappiness.
Dammit. And there's me just gagging for a cup of tea.
Jac xxx
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Blues63: The Buddha once said that 'the source of unhappiness is desire.' Think about that for a minute, it's true.
Whether it be materialistic; a desire for someone; a wish to be like someone else etc.
Mindfulness is the key. How one achieves it does not matter.Desire is the root of all unhappiness.
Whether it be materialistic; a desire for someone; a wish to be like someone else etc.
Mindfulness is the key. How one achieves it does not matter.Desire is the root of all unhappiness.
Would love to talk more about this sometime.... a favorite topic of mine and so good to talk to someone who thinks this way and is applying it to his own life.
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opentuit: Would love to talk more about this sometime.... a favorite topic of mine and so good to talk to someone who thinks this way and is applying it to his own life.
Yes, I'd love too. I'm no guru or anything, I just had to stop being who I became (not a monster or anything). I just try to live without expectations and make no demands. For I am a great danger to myself if I don't.
BTW, nice car!
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jac379: Dammit. And there's me just gagging for a cup of tea.
Jac xxx
Jac xxx
Well have one!------ This thread is Archived ------
Blues63: Yes, I'd love too. I'm no guru or anything, I just had to stop being who I became (not a monster or anything). I just try to live without expectations and make no demands. For I am a great danger to myself if I don't.
BTW, nice car!
BTW, nice car!
You watching my house again?!.......
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- your favorite topic?
- men's perspective towards women
- Ladies
- The GOP Representatives owned by Vladimir Putin
- Unions support Democrats!
- I'm a 53 YEAR'S YUNG MAN that lives back in the 80s
- The weird and the random facts around the world
- Are the ads on here as phony as some of the profiles?
- the way you look
- Why is this shameful?
2. you don't respect yourself.
3. you aren't responsible.
There you have it. YOU are the source of your unhappiness.
Now, you're probably either wondering who I'm talking about or are about to hit the "respond" button and unleash an emotionally charged vitriolic diatribe filled with righteous indignation because you self-identified and immediately felt attacked by those 3 unflattering bullet points and being unhappy makes it easy to lash-out at people. If you're the latter, relax. It's not really about you and it's not personal and it's not an indictment of you or your character. It's just a line of reasoning. The bad news is that YOU are responsible for your own happiness. And that's also the good news because it means that you can abandon that unhappiness whenever you are ready to do so. Now to explain the three bullet points.
1. You aren't honest. While you may be as honest as you can imagine with everyone else, you aren't honest with yourself. Or maybe let's say you're not honest ENOUGH with yourself, if that sounds better to you. Here's an exercise in being honest with yourself. Ask and answer the following questions in order.
In order to be happy, what do you want out of life? List those things.
What action are you taking today toward achieving those goals for happiness?
If the answer to that is "nothing", then you should ask yourself "why not" and "Do I really want that".
People working toward their goals tend to feel good about themselves, feel optimstic, empowered and positive, all resulting in a high level of self respect. i.e. You are happy.
2. Being unwilling to accept the only two baseline options for any situation (change it) or (accept it) means that you would rather wallow in angst than choose one of the two courses of action and embrace your decision. Knowing your options, choosing one and acting on that choice frees you. But you have to respect yourself enough to be honest and truthful with yourself. You CAN change your situation and refusing to acknowledge that is actually disrespecting yourself through contempt for your own personal strength, value, ability and autonomy.
3. You aren't responsible. Happiness is personal. It's YOURS. You can be happy living in a grass hut and you can be unhappy living in a mansion. Be honest with yourself about what makes you happy. Do something and take action on that honest evaluation and take responsibility for it. Happiness won't find you. You must find it.
So there is the line of philosophical reasoning and, of course, it's open to discussion, agreement or dissent.