Well, Endless combinations could me made and all of them will be true to some point and for certain people, men or women, we do the same tricks and we do endlessly fall for them again and again...
KremaP: Well, Endless combinations could me made and all of them will be true to some point and for certain people, men or women, we do the same tricks and we do endlessly fall for them again and again...
TheRedSquirrel87Manchester, Greater Manchester, England UK1,107 posts
purr4mance: generally speaking, when it comes to dating, women notoriously send mixed signals, unconsciously because of past experiences and those are usually not rational. then, there is the conscious variety, when she thinks she's come to terms with her past and is making reasonable choices. a guy can be perceptive and understand all of this, but if she isn't willing to perceive this herself,then she may be missing something in how to play her part in moving a relationship forward.
anyways, i think people are complex and unique and for that reason, i think guys fall somewhere between beating themselves up and the ignorant a**hole. it's not all black and white. there are many shades of gray.
Yes, it's a spectrum and everyone fits somewhere in between.
However, intelligence and perception breed doubt. Doubt, fear and self-awareness affect the intelligent far more than the stupid. Women love smarts in a man when it means that he "gets" her, but they also adore the confidence of ignorance which acts without fear of consequence.
TheRedSquirrel87Manchester, Greater Manchester, England UK1,107 posts
TheRedSquirrel87: Yes, it's a spectrum and everyone fits somewhere in between.
However, intelligence and perception breed doubt. Doubt, fear and self-awareness affect the intelligent far more than the stupid. Women love smarts in a man when it means that he "gets" her, but they also adore the confidence of ignorance which acts without fear of consequence.
Which is the fundamental difference between courage and confidence. Courage observes and respects the real world and courage acts in spite of fear. To be brave you have to know what you're letting yourself in for and to be confident you don't. A delusional sociopath can be confident and fearless, but what he can never be is brave. There is no bravery without fear.
TheRedSquirrel87Manchester, Greater Manchester, England UK1,107 posts
TheRedSquirrel87: Which is the fundamental difference between courage and confidence. Courage observes and respects the real world and courage acts in spite of fear. To be brave you have to know what you're letting yourself in for and to be confident you don't. A delusional sociopath can be confident and fearless, but what he can never be is brave. There is no bravery without fear.
And this is why the word courage ruled when men ruled and the word confidence rules in the womanly age. The worldly-interested and self-expendable gender of man uses the word bravery, the worldly-oblivious and self-absorbed gender of woman uses the word confidence. Courage depends on there being a real world with danger in it, confidence depends on acting like the real world and its dangers do not exist.
TheRedSquirrel87Manchester, Greater Manchester, England UK1,107 posts
TheRedSquirrel87: And this is why the word courage ruled when men ruled and the word confidence rules in the womanly age. The worldly-interested and self-expendable gender of man uses the word bravery, the worldly-oblivious and self-absorbed gender of woman uses the word confidence. Courage depends on there being a real world with danger in it, confidence depends on acting like the real world and its dangers do not exist.
The internet reinforces this modern rise of womanly confidence and the death of masculine bravery. You can sort of show confidence online, but you can never be brave online. Bravery is substance for a real world of substance, confidence is style for the lands and times of make-believe.
TheRedSquirrel87: The internet reinforces this modern rise of womanly confidence and the death of masculine bravery. You can sort of show confidence online, but you can never be brave online. Bravery is substance for a real world of substance, confidence is style for the lands and times of make-believe.
Being brave online is also known as B.S. Online people will throw it back at you if they are wise to what floats your boat (don't mean you Red) but in the real world bravery and confidence rarely go hand in hand.
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).