I'm in the process of writing a SOMETHING! And I'm wondering if you all might give me some feedback? ( Archived) (65)

Hi again, Pat

I'm sorta glad you said that, Pat. Why? Because I've NEVER been reliant on someone else, for my happiness! Sure, I was reliant on my parents for my basic "necessities" of life, food/clothing/shelter, as a kid, growing up. And I suppose that, had I NOT had those things, I PROBABLY wouldn't have been "happy". So maybe I SHOULDN'T say that I've never derived my "happiness" on/from some OUTSIDE source. But I'm the happiest person I know! With less OUTWARD reason to be, than most. And "I" should know, having been (as you say) a "junky" chasing my next fix (literally) for over 40 years! And I'm trying to live in one of America's most expensive areas, on only my Social Security income ($1.352/mt, and whatever I can hustle up, with/by my wits), at present. But I've been MORE places (on ALL continents, EXCEPT Africa [only Morroco] and South America [I've been to ALL the Central American countries, and am HOPING to go to Chile and Uruguay within the next year]), seen/done MORE"things" (I've worked/been paid for underground mining, farming, electro-mechanical computer installation/repair, jewelry manufacture/buying/selling, postman, salesman [of an INFINITE variety of things], drug dealer/smuggler, soldier [who has BEEN shot at by, and shot at, not only "the enemy", but by my superior officers, as well], a "cat" burglar, an artist, a writer, a hobo, a member of a bands, a driver, a fund raiser, etc., etc., etc.[I might mention that I've flown an airplane, but THAT wasn't for a paycheck.] But the thing of which I am MOST "proud", was to be OFFICIALLY named a provocateur/instigator, by my government!), than anybody "I" KNOW, personally. I've had more money than I could "legally" spend, and I've been a poor as a church mouse, sleeping on the streets. I DON'T have any of those little pieces of paper (diplomas), but I have at least a BASIC education in more areas/fields than anybody I know, personally.I'll admit that"I" DON'T "give" as freely, as quickly, or as democratically, as I once did. But I'm STILL not "stingy". Money/possessions have NEVER been my "motivating" factor. And I'll stand beside a "friend/brother", against the world, OPENLY! But I'll fight HIM just as hard, behind the scenes, if I think he's wrong!

I've told you all, that, to explain how it is, that I'm a "happy" person. I'm "happy" because "I" find the world an INFINITELY "interesting" place. At times amusing, and at others, sad. But I'm NEVER bored! I'm "happy" because "I" LIKE me! I'm true to MY thoughts/beliefs/credo/ethics, regardless of the outcome/consequences. So, when I lay my head on my pillow/rock/backpack/etc., I have no trouble going to sleep! I'm at peace with myself. And, even though I may accept/agree that I've made a mistake(s)(and I've made many), I have NO REGRETS for/about any of my actions. I DON'T spend ANY time worrying about ANYTHING! I deal with whatever rings my doorbell, as best I can, WHEN it rings my doorbell! NOT beforehand! Worrying about things that may NEVER happen, seems to be the epitome of "foolishness", a well as the WORST "waste of time", to ME. And I realize that EVERY man's birthright is death! We're ALL going to die, sooner, or later. I'm NOT saying that you SHOULDN'T FIGHT against your death! I think that THAT is ONE of our duties! But I also think that, since I AM going to die (REGARDLESS of my best attempts), if I can't escape it, I shouldn't FEAR it! Death is a part and parcel of life! (Probably my favorite, most inspiring quotes, comes from Lord MacCauley's "The Lays of Ancient Rome". I'll paraphrase it. ". . . For how can men die better, Than when facing fearful odds, For the ashes of their fathers, And the temples of their gods . .". How can a "Man" be BETTER defined, than THAT?

(More to come! see next thread)

Continuation.

I also empathize with the native American saying - "TODAY is a GOOD day, to die!" And I'll be "happy" to go on and see what's next, WHEN "I" die! Because, from my own personal experience (although I CAN'T "prove" it, to you), that the cessation of my body is NOT the cessation of ME! I FIRMLY believe that "I" (you, me, EVERYBODY, "lives" forever! Not ALL those "lives" will be in the same form! But the living goes on, in SOME/WHATEVER form.) And the thought that I'm going to keep on having these various "experiences", forever, makes/keeps me "happy". I'm "happy" because I've received such a wonderful "gift"!

And THAT is what life is! A gift! A gift that I get to experience receiving, over and over, again! Each time I wake up. Each time I open my eyes. So how can I NOT be "happy"? How can I NOT be "satisfied" with my lot, in life? I MAY NOT have all that I'd like to have. I MAY NOT be completely satisfied with all the things I have. But THAT is alright! I HOPE that I'm NEVER "satisfied"! Because, IF "I" ever become completely "satisfied", what is my reason for living? What will I have, yet, to do, THEN? If I have nothing to strive for? With no purpose, what meaning has life? What WORTH has life? So, no matter my situation or station, in life, I'm happy! Because I have the ONLY THING that TRULY has "worth, in life! And THAT is life, itself! If I let myself get caught in all the "details" of life, then I'm MISSING the most IMPORTANT part! And THAT's the life, itself. And I'll NEVER (or only seldom/occasionally) be happy.

And, to return to the topic at hand, I'm happy because, for ALL these reasons, that my life is one of "love"! I'm able to love EVERYTHING! The good. The bad. The trees. The birds. The tigers. The ants. The people. EVEN YOU! So, I'm ETERNALLY "IN LOVE"! And, as so aptly stated, previously, "I love being in love!" Being "in love" makes ME "Happy"!

So, no! My "happiness" DOESN'T derive from something OUTSIDE of my "self"! It derives from the "love" that resides IN me!

And that's what started this whole thing! I'm trying to BETTER "understand" what that "love" is.

I write, but am I a writer? I'll let YOU be the judge of THAT, for yourself. J

I seem to recall
That someone once said
That when I was born
I was dropped on my head
I guess that they thought
That that might explain
Why I was so hyper
And seemed so insane

But I have to say
That the world that I see
Though it doesn't make sense
It's alright with me
I know that to others
It seems to need change
But the world that I see
It's really not strange
But I tend to laugh
At so much that I see
And the people in charge
They seem funny to me

They think they're in charge
And can order our lives
But me
I don't think they can order their wives
And the things that they do
They think that they ought
But to me
It appears
They weren't given much thought
And my act
So they say
Ought to be modified
And you wouldn't believe
All the ways that they've tried

But now
When they see me
I think they feel sad
Because I keep on laughing
And it's driving them mad
I see odd little smiles
That don't seem quite right
And sometimes they giggle
When I'm out of sight

I'm feeling quite lost
And don't know what to do
So I ask you
My friend
Please answer me true
Should I still pretend
That I don't understand
When they walk up to me
And give a command
Or should I just laugh
At the things that they do
Please answer these questions
That I'm asking you

Or should I take pity
And lend them a hand
And teach them the things
That they don't understand
That though life is hard
If you look at it right
Each hour we live
Brings the chance that we might
Encounter a friend
On the roads that we walk
Who'll give us a hug
When we stop for a talk
Or the love of our life
Might come strolling along
And join up with us
As we travel on

But me
I have learned
That what I give away
Will come back to meet me
On some future day
So I try to share
All my laughter and joy
And give a big smile
To each girl and boy
It won't lighten their load
As they trudge up life's hills
And it certainly WON’T
Cure all of their ills
But maybe
Just maybe
It will brighten their day
So that then they won't mind
The price that they pay
Or the things that they do
That earns them their bread
And keeps the wheels spinning
Inside of their head

Then maybe
Someday
When my life seems grim
I'll see someone smile
When I smile at them
Who'll lend me a hand
With the trials that I face
And so
Help me to live
Through that time
And that place
And together we'll share
A moment of grace
Where souls come together
In time and in space
Where two can be one
If just for a while
And, my friend
That all starts with
ONE LITTLE SMILE!

“Sharing A Smile” is one of my ”whim”sical poems. It’s the result of ME entertaining MYSELF. It was written on a “whim”, solely as a means of relaxation and fun, for ME. It certainly expresses a philosophy. Which was/is intentional. But it’s also ME, talking about/describing ME. And it’s also me “playing” with words. But it’s also an example of me AVOIDING “LIFE” for a little while. I take these “Time Outs” occasionally. Just for my mental health! Not that I think the world is going to change me in any appreciable way, at this late date. But “LIFE” CAN GET pretty aggravating, at times. And poetry is my “Prozac”. But “Sharing A Smile” is a good example of me, at “Play”. This poem was not planned out, in any way. I just sat down and wrote it, pretty much the way you read it. I probably didn’t take more than two hours to write this poem, even including the little “polishing” that I did. That’s because I was just entertaining MYSELF! And this poem was never meant to be seen by anyone, OTHER THAN myself. (Of course, MOST of my poems aren’t meant to be seen by anyone. By far, probably 90/95% are written solely for my own benefit.) But I thought some of you might get “A SMILE” out of seeing how I “entertain” myself. :-) (-: J

There is no love. Love is an illusion in our eyes and mind. Once that illusion is out of us , things change!.
We all fall in the trap of LOVE, some of us get lucky and continue with the river, and some of us get lost completely and seek the help of a psychologist or a psychiatrist depending on the severity of the case.
But if you're the strong kind, eventhough you lose the game , called LOVE, or better yet they force you to lose it, then that is when you really open your eyes and see the sad reality all around you. LOVE is just a portrait that humans created it and we have no choice but face it whether we like it or not. Only clever ones avoid the trap, and the rest follows like a sheep. That is the definition of LOVE.

For me to read more than a few sentences I usually have to get pulled in by the one writing. Even when "forced" to read technical data I will see if I can find it in video when it is just to dry. Some people have the gift and some seem to be missing that special element that draws you in.