How can we recognize a Narcissist? (143)
BerrySmoothie: I found him very charming in the beginning.....showered me with gifts, flowers etc. He was very affectionate and attentive and then red flags slowly started to appear such as screening my phone-calls, isolating me from family and friends when he could.
After years of the above pointers which I already mentioned in my previous comment, I was barely a shell of my former self.
I eventually left him. My biggest regret was, I didn't leave sooner.
Could the red flag actually be “showering you with ....” we all love that!After years of the above pointers which I already mentioned in my previous comment, I was barely a shell of my former self.
I eventually left him. My biggest regret was, I didn't leave sooner.
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Generally Niavete.....it can be anyone.
....and they need at least one victim at any given time throughout their lives, hence they have a tendency to roll from one bed to the next very quickly.
....and they need at least one victim at any given time throughout their lives, hence they have a tendency to roll from one bed to the next very quickly.
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michaelright: yeah it's emotional blackmail I think , or correct me please,,
Yes! I think it is much more too... and female narcissists target men just as often!------ This thread is Archived ------
MsContessa: Could the red flag actually be “showering you with ....” we all love that!
I didn't see it as a red flag at the time.I merely thought he was totally enamoured by me.
I'd never encountered this type of person at any time in my life, previously......so really was quite naive at seeing any "signs"
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Limun: Narcissists don’t really love themselves. Actually, they’re driven by shame. It’s the idealized image of themselves, which they convince themselves they embody, that they admire. But deep down, narcissists feel the gap between the façade they show the world and their shame-based self. They work hard to avoid feeling that shame. To fill this gap narcissists use destructive defense mechanisms that destroy relationships and cause pain and damage to their loved ones.
Above is a copy-paste from Psychology today
Now,we tend to point fingers at someone and label them
we`re not very self critical , we never question our own action ,has our action caused a reaction
``restricting freedom`` ``isolating from friends`` and ``emotional blackmail``
1-how comfortable are you with the idea that your partner ,rather spends his time with other people ,same and opposite gender, without you ,and when they come home, you can see the change in behaviour?
2-How many times have you seen , friends influencing your or your partners relationship...
3-If you sleep with someone, its over between us
They seem to hide their dark side so well! But it appears they do not and cannot change.. no amount of understanding seems to work. The general advice here seems to be “GET OUT and STAY OUT”Above is a copy-paste from Psychology today
Now,we tend to point fingers at someone and label them
we`re not very self critical , we never question our own action ,has our action caused a reaction
``restricting freedom`` ``isolating from friends`` and ``emotional blackmail``
1-how comfortable are you with the idea that your partner ,rather spends his time with other people ,same and opposite gender, without you ,and when they come home, you can see the change in behaviour?
2-How many times have you seen , friends influencing your or your partners relationship...
3-If you sleep with someone, its over between us
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Rachie14: Isolating people is another feature to the personality.
You aall seem to be describing yourselves
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BerrySmoothie: I didn't see it as a red flag at the time.
I merely thought he was totally enamoured by me.
I'd never encountered this type of person at any time in my life, previously......so really was quite naive at seeing any "signs"
That is it, if they make you feel so loved, how can you them for what they really are! How was it after? Did he stalk you?I merely thought he was totally enamoured by me.
I'd never encountered this type of person at any time in my life, previously......so really was quite naive at seeing any "signs"
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MsContessa: Can you actually know when you are been manipulated by them? Is there a way of knowing?
It's not always easy, since some of them are brilliant manipulators, so it usually needs some time.It's important to pay attention at how someone makes you feel.
Do they try to make you feel good by striking your ego? Do they say and do things that should make you feel special? Do they then start to make you feel bad with little stings they add every now and then? Some small comments that make you reevaluate yourself and make you feel insecure. Do they make you feel as if you have to prove that you are up to their standards? Do they put you down in some "friendly" manner? Do they change behaviour from making you feel like a goddess to making you feel like you are (not yet) good enough? Do they always make everything seem like it's your fault? "If only you did/didn't..."
It's small things in the beginning, hardly noticeable, but they pile up and start getting more and more severe.
Don't look for a person who will make you feel special and offer you the illusion of the romance and life that can only exist in movies. Look for an ordinary person who will treat you with respect and kindness.
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MsContessa: We meet Narcissists on a daily basis but we seldom recognize them as such!
Have you ever experienced one in your life? What are the red flags?
Why is it that the biggest Narcissists on Cs....Have you ever experienced one in your life? What are the red flags?
have the most to say against their know condition....
and yes it's a medical psychological affliction....
that is hardly ever corrected after a lifetime of treatment....?
They must surely recognise themselves....
Oh yes...I forgot....another trait....!
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Naivete: It's not always easy, since some of them are brilliant manipulators, so it usually needs some time.
It's important to pay attention at how someone makes you feel.
Do they try to make you feel good by striking your ego? Do they say and do things that should make you feel special? Do they then start to make you feel bad with little stings they add every now and then? Some small comments that make you reevaluate yourself and make you feel insecure. Do they make you feel as if you have to prove that you are up to their standards? Do they put you down in some "friendly" manner? Do they change behaviour from making you feel like a goddess to making you feel like you are (not yet) good enough? Do they always make everything seem like it's your fault? "If only you did/didn't..."
It's small things in the beginning, hardly noticeable, but they pile up and start getting more and more severe.
Don't look for a person who will make you feel special and offer you the illusion of the romance and life that can only exist in movies. Look for an ordinary person who will treat you with respect and kindness.
So it’s important for ones sanity...... recognizing one is when you get a gut feeling that something is totally out of sync. Like words and actions don’t match! It's important to pay attention at how someone makes you feel.
Do they try to make you feel good by striking your ego? Do they say and do things that should make you feel special? Do they then start to make you feel bad with little stings they add every now and then? Some small comments that make you reevaluate yourself and make you feel insecure. Do they make you feel as if you have to prove that you are up to their standards? Do they put you down in some "friendly" manner? Do they change behaviour from making you feel like a goddess to making you feel like you are (not yet) good enough? Do they always make everything seem like it's your fault? "If only you did/didn't..."
It's small things in the beginning, hardly noticeable, but they pile up and start getting more and more severe.
Don't look for a person who will make you feel special and offer you the illusion of the romance and life that can only exist in movies. Look for an ordinary person who will treat you with respect and kindness.
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BerrySmoothie: Yes, he wasn't finished with me after I left him.
He spread the most malicious gossip about me to anyone who would listen, including on his social media accounts.
I recall the day I walked out the front door, and as I was leaving(after he'd shredded every packing box with a knife)
He looked at me and said:: "I'm going to make you suffer"
You are obviously a very strong woman and congrats for that! He spread the most malicious gossip about me to anyone who would listen, including on his social media accounts.
I recall the day I walked out the front door, and as I was leaving(after he'd shredded every packing box with a knife)
He looked at me and said:: "I'm going to make you suffer"
I believe the smear campaign is terrible and they gets plenty sympathy.
Did he stop and how long did it take?
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MsContessa: So it’s important for ones sanity...... recognizing one is when you get a gut feeling that something is totally out of sync. Like words and actions don’t match!
Especially in the beginning, they often switch from (very) good to (slightly) bad and back, so that their "victims" get confused, don't understand what's going on and become willing to give them another chance. That's why EVERYONE needs some time to figure them out. Don't feel bad if you didn't recognize them soon enough. 
If you feel that your feeling of self-worth is challenged - it's time to run.
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aries1234: You aall seem to be describing yourselves
To some extent we all have narcissist traits but these guys and women who have the full blown disorder seem to be on another level entirely....------ This thread is Archived ------
It's easier for an outsider to see the signs than somebody invested in the relationship.
Two different friends of mine have been involved with one. I could see the signs. It is harder for the person involved. They keep making excuses for the person, and saying that it was themselves that was in the wrong.
One of them got out on time once I made them read the signs and symptoms for themselves.
The other is still not fully out, but I am living in hope.
Two different friends of mine have been involved with one. I could see the signs. It is harder for the person involved. They keep making excuses for the person, and saying that it was themselves that was in the wrong.
One of them got out on time once I made them read the signs and symptoms for themselves.
The other is still not fully out, but I am living in hope.
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MsContessa: I have read that Dating Sites are great hunting grounds for them..
They know exactly how and who to target! The victim is sucked in!
I'll add to this..They know exactly how and who to target! The victim is sucked in!
By introducing another term known as mirroring. This is something to be very aware of on dating sites and social networks.
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mollybaby: It's easier for an outsider to see the signs than somebody invested in the relationship.
Two different friends of mine have been involved with one. I could see the signs. It is harder for the person involved. They keep making excuses for the person, and saying that it was themselves that was in the wrong.
One of them got out on time once I made them read the signs and symptoms for themselves.
The other is still not fully out, but I am living in hope.
Yes, when you are together with someone with an NPD it is so hard to go because the structure gives you security (because it feels familar), as bad as the structure is. And you are someone who feels guilty anway all the time.Two different friends of mine have been involved with one. I could see the signs. It is harder for the person involved. They keep making excuses for the person, and saying that it was themselves that was in the wrong.
One of them got out on time once I made them read the signs and symptoms for themselves.
The other is still not fully out, but I am living in hope.
It is great that you helped your friend and help the other one. The best thing in that situation is someone who not says things like "I would have been gone years ago" or in an angry way "Why let you do this to you?"
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Rachie14: I'll add to this..
By introducing another term known as mirroring. This is something to be very aware of on dating sites and social networks.
Yes, they mirror for all one´s worth. It is because you shall feel as comfortable as possible with them. You think in the beginning "Oh my, I found my soulmate!" or "Oh, I never felt so good with someone before" or "It is as if we had known each other our whole life" You feel only like this because they mirror you. They tell you maybe 1% that is true about their lives, the rest they fake around it, so that it is exactly mirroring you. And because there is the 1% true part, you do not even think about questioning anything.By introducing another term known as mirroring. This is something to be very aware of on dating sites and social networks.
If you are aware of the mirroring you can easily influence what they answer or behave in a conversation. It is good to acknowledge that, but it is at the same time a bad feeling because what do such conversations say? Nothing. They have no worth.
In the mirroring you can also see that they are empty and need all input from the outside. If you could do therapy with someone with an NPD you would "treat away" the whole person, because the NPD is the personality of that person.
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Rachie14: Gas lighting, making people think that it's them that is the problem. Deflection from the Narcs negatives.
Learning something new here today!
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Anyone who has any knowledge of NPD can Look on CS for a while and pick out the Narcs Bigots & Trolls - Simples 
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Above is a copy-paste from Psychology today
Now,we tend to point fingers at someone and label them
we`re not very self critical , we never question our own action ,has our action caused a reaction
``restricting freedom`` ``isolating from friends`` and ``emotional blackmail``
1-how comfortable are you with the idea that your partner ,rather spends his time with other people ,same and opposite gender, without you ,and when they come home, you can see the change in behaviour?
2-How many times have you seen , friends influencing your or your partners relationship...
3-If you sleep with someone, its over between us