Unconditional Love, Yes or No ( Archived) (132)

So what does it mean to love someone unconditionally?

I read and hear it all the time that love should be unconditional and I think it's nonsense. Rather the opposite should be the case. Love should be conditional. For instance, it should be conditional on the way a person treats you; it should be conditional on the way a person treats others; conditional on the respect that you get from this person and so on.

If your partner committed a violent crime against another or against a child or an old person, could you still sit back and say with a clear conscience that you love your partner and everything that he/she is and stands for?

Which side of the fence are you on? The conditional or the unconditional?

Unconditional Love is the only Love that will last all tests of time. The catch is that both individuals must give unconditionally not only to their respective partners but to life on the whole.

“And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:” Hebrews 10:24
“Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” I John 4:7-8
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth not is made perfect in love.” I John 4:18

Aw yes! Leave it to Mark to put it in the best words possible! Thank you brother!

I think that every emotionally healthy person wants to love and to be loved. We want people to love us as we are. We want to feel accepted no matter what we may say or do. When we make a mistake, we want to be forgiven. We want to be loved unconditionally.

Problems arise when we do not return that same unconditional love. There will never be genuine love expressed between two people if both parties are constantly seeking to have their needs met. How can two people make a relationship work if both define love as, “if you love me then you will do what I want”?

JMO

I would rather be hated for who I am...than loved for who I am not....

taken from the Webster dictionary:

unconditional-NOT limited: absolute

conditional-subject to, implying


Now which would someone choose that is interested in a REAL relationship???

To me, conditional love is "I'll love you if you...", or "I won't love you if you don't...", so under that definition, I believe in unconditional love, for it should not have those. Love just is, or it isn't. One doesn't put conditions on it.

However, by your definition, Scuba, I would say I agree with love being somewhat conditional. No, if my partner murdered someone without good reason, then I would say that he wasn't the person I thought he was, and thereby I no longer love him because I couldn't love someone who did that. If he murdered someone because it was to save his own or another life, then that would be the same person I knew and loved, and I would still love him, and stand beside him through the ordeal we would face (for yes, if you kill in self-defense, you still get investigated, and might stand trial).

I totally agree, Hugz, having been loved for who I am not...it's not a pleasant place to be.

Quite a number of replies talk about one condition or another, however large or small, and not surprisingly, for unconditional love is rather rare in humans cos of our expectations. Unconditional love in loving unconditionally...Period... no matter what there is always forgiveness and the joy of seeing one's love. 

Perhaps the closets we get to experience unconditional love is that recieved from a pet dog who is always overjoyed and eager to see you no matter what.