If only did I know I had just week
Before death holds me in its cold embrace,
Before the black palette of the Beyond
Paints mourning funeral colors.
I would embrace then worldly sun
And let it burn itself, burn up,
I’d open breast of mine wide to the rain
That would be pouring down on me for this last time!
I would then call on motherland’s all sites,
Press me against King David's grave,
See for last time high towers of the Svans
Now crumbling, almost falling to the ground…
I would then climb on bold cliffs on all fours
And kiss the land, feel fragrance of the soil…
It’s as it seems the only time
When the Eternal I would ever feel.
How could I ever leave this place
Without a child that has been torn off breast,
I would go see Abkhazia, dear land, and
In the thoughts I’d thwart the foes’ attacks.
Back to the capital then I would make my way
And feel the breath of old town once again,
I’d kiss its walls, such spots, in which
No soul would even wish to live…
I would then gaily stroll the streets,
Little hands I would be seeing stretched to me,
I would then take them into mine and say:
“I will protect you against killers, evil spell”.
How would I act, if I had only three days left?
Pay visits to the hearths of all loved ones,
Fondle them, embrace, and open heart,
Repent for all the wrong I’ve ever done,
Beg to forgive for whatever I’ve said,
For what I’ve failed to say, for being what I am:
“If I did something wrong, I didn’t mean offense,
There’s never been such thing as sinless man...”
Should our Lord so gracious me permit
Each poem that I’d write would be a gift to each,
A fragment there would be of force I feel,
That has embraced my heart for all the years I lived.
Much feeling, sympathy, a warmth, caress,
There’s nothing else that I could offer, friends.
The part of soul that has survived the death
Is what we value all, regard as best.
And then exactly one day prior to the death
I’d go to place where Lord our dwells,
And take communion… then of my life repent
In no more than two simple phrase.
And in the evening when I am back home
A sadness would take grip on me and hold,
Then I would wish I had in store more days,
If such predicament as this I overcame.
For my dream’s nothing more than a name,
Deeds of honor salvation to gain!
I would hate being dead in a way
That of wishes mere dreams have remained…
I would wish that my Lord should tomorrow
Send salvation Messiah to me…
So that I should fulfill debt of honor
And then die in a way us befits.
Then I wouldn’t feel much regret,
Only pain would then silently flash
When confronted with death’s evil eyes
When the silence absorbs soul of mine.