my friend mouse wrote me today
said that she was sorry for being away so long
she said that she hated herself

she told me that she had just gotten home from the hospital
another bout with kidney failure
christmas...alone in the hospital....
I'm scared
she is alone at home
has to administer herself IV drip for so many days
with chinese new year on the horizon
she has always loved chinese new year

she had planned to return to family home
spend the celebration with her family
those she loved and missed so much

and she said I'm sorry to me