Why don't people say good bye on these sites? (34)
My guess is that you have projected your interest in them on to them.
You believe the exchange is meaningful, for them its just an exchange of mail. You don't realise their lack of interest, they don't realise your interest.
Its easy to have these errors of communication in this medium. Perhaps you need to re-evaluate how you emotionally respond to contact? I mean, maybe you need to not allow yourself to get attached too quickly, or make too many assumptions?
Its a thing many of us have to learn.
You believe the exchange is meaningful, for them its just an exchange of mail. You don't realise their lack of interest, they don't realise your interest.
Its easy to have these errors of communication in this medium. Perhaps you need to re-evaluate how you emotionally respond to contact? I mean, maybe you need to not allow yourself to get attached too quickly, or make too many assumptions?
Its a thing many of us have to learn.
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jac379: My guess is that you have projected your interest in them on to them.
You believe the exchange is meaningful, for them its just an exchange of mail. You don't realise their lack of interest, they don't realise your interest.
Its easy to have these errors of communication in this medium. Perhaps you need to re-evaluate how you emotionally respond to contact? I mean, maybe you need to not allow yourself to get attached too quickly, or make too many assumptions?
Its a thing many of us have to learn.
You believe the exchange is meaningful, for them its just an exchange of mail. You don't realise their lack of interest, they don't realise your interest.
Its easy to have these errors of communication in this medium. Perhaps you need to re-evaluate how you emotionally respond to contact? I mean, maybe you need to not allow yourself to get attached too quickly, or make too many assumptions?
Its a thing many of us have to learn.
What she said!!
... well said jac
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smallworlds:
When I am not interested in someone I always try to be kind and polite and send an email to explain why I think it will not work for me.
When am not interested,am very abrupt, saying "am not interested,thanks contacting me""When I am not interested in someone I always try to be kind and polite and send an email to explain why I think it will not work for me.
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jac379: My guess is that you have projected your interest in them on to them.
You believe the exchange is meaningful, for them its just an exchange of mail. You don't realise their lack of interest, they don't realise your interest.
Its easy to have these errors of communication in this medium. Perhaps you need to re-evaluate how you emotionally respond to contact? I mean, maybe you need to not allow yourself to get attached too quickly, or make too many assumptions?
Its a thing many of us have to learn.
You believe the exchange is meaningful, for them its just an exchange of mail. You don't realise their lack of interest, they don't realise your interest.
Its easy to have these errors of communication in this medium. Perhaps you need to re-evaluate how you emotionally respond to contact? I mean, maybe you need to not allow yourself to get attached too quickly, or make too many assumptions?
Its a thing many of us have to learn.
Spot on,one more good post and to the point by you. 
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People lose interest and it could be they are just rude or just they don't want to hurt your feelings, either way forget them and find someone more worthy.
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I will never give up looking for that special one. I know out there is someone who will care as much as I do and who is not afraid to love again.
I've met some great men as well so I know it is possible.
I still would like to hear from people who have had people disappear, I'm sure I am not the only one.
I've met some great men as well so I know it is possible.
I still would like to hear from people who have had people disappear, I'm sure I am not the only one.
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jac379: My guess is that you have projected your interest in them on to them.
You believe the exchange is meaningful, for them its just an exchange of mail. You don't realise their lack of interest, they don't realise your interest.
Its easy to have these errors of communication in this medium. Perhaps you need to re-evaluate how you emotionally respond to contact? I mean, maybe you need to not allow yourself to get attached too quickly, or make too many assumptions?
Its a thing many of us have to learn.
You believe the exchange is meaningful, for them its just an exchange of mail. You don't realise their lack of interest, they don't realise your interest.
Its easy to have these errors of communication in this medium. Perhaps you need to re-evaluate how you emotionally respond to contact? I mean, maybe you need to not allow yourself to get attached too quickly, or make too many assumptions?
Its a thing many of us have to learn.
I disagree!!!!
You email a people as an exchange of emails and if the person sounds interesting you can continue, if not you can walk away at any time. You dont have to give a reason why you should not continue to email after all its a dating site.
There many who should learn how to deal with life as a general rule and not make assumptions. JMO
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It's better to say aurevoir.
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smallworlds: I will never give up looking for that special one. I know out there is someone who will care as much as I do and who is not afraid to love again.
I've met some great men as well so I know it is possible.
I still would like to hear from people who have had people disappear, I'm sure I am not the only one.
don't take it to heart , pretty soon you will do the same thing . In a little way you may become what you once disliked .I've met some great men as well so I know it is possible.
I still would like to hear from people who have had people disappear, I'm sure I am not the only one.
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smallworlds: I will never give up looking for that special one. I know out there is someone who will care as much as I do and who is not afraid to love again.
I've met some great men as well so I know it is possible.
I still would like to hear from people who have had people disappear, I'm sure I am not the only one.
don't take it to heart , pretty soon you will do the same thing . In a little way you may become what you once disliked .I've met some great men as well so I know it is possible.
I still would like to hear from people who have had people disappear, I'm sure I am not the only one.
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Hasta la vista baby,maybe they are married wives caught them:-)
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smallworlds: Why do people disappear? I don't know about others but I've had several people who I was VERY interested in, just drop off without so much as a good-bye. Why?
I'm not speaking about the obvious scammers with their poor grammar who never answer your questions, these are men (in my case) who seem interested in me. We share some personal information exchange pictures and many emails. Then one day I write to them and nothing. I may write a few times more but never get a reply. Why? Has this happen to anyone else.
When I am not interested in someone I always try to be kind and polite and send an email to explain why I think it will not work for me. So I wonder what other people have experienced. Why have you stopped a contact with someone?
I'm not speaking about the obvious scammers with their poor grammar who never answer your questions, these are men (in my case) who seem interested in me. We share some personal information exchange pictures and many emails. Then one day I write to them and nothing. I may write a few times more but never get a reply. Why? Has this happen to anyone else.
When I am not interested in someone I always try to be kind and polite and send an email to explain why I think it will not work for me. So I wonder what other people have experienced. Why have you stopped a contact with someone?
Many people forget that there are real people at the other end of the computer screen. Cyber dating and cyber relationships are often not real for many people. It is easy to stop, because what they are stopping was never real for them in the first place.
Many people think that a relationship can be started and maintained through a computer screen, but the reality is that a cyber connection is never real. It is only there as long as someone thinks there is a connection.
Perhaps those that just disappear do so for one or more of the following reasons:
1. They just give up on it thinking that they are wasting their time
2. They are chatting or emailing more than one person, and one of these other cyber relationships become real, and they no longer need to communicate via the internet with people that they have never really met.
3. They are selfish and don't really care about others
4. Their internet connection gets cancelled, or they get banned by the site administrator.
5. Their lives get busy with other priorities and cyber relationships do not rate a high priority any more.
6. Their needs for friendship are met in other ways and they no longer log onto the site.
These are perhaps just some reasons why some people just disappear and don't say "goodbye"....
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Halv0: Many people forget that there are real people at the other end of the computer screen. Cyber dating and cyber relationships are often not real for many people. It is easy to stop, because what they are stopping was never real for them in the first place.
Many people think that a relationship can be started and maintained through a computer screen, but the reality is that a cyber connection is never real. It is only there as long as someone thinks there is a connection.
Perhaps those that just disappear do so for one or more of the following reasons:
1. They just give up on it thinking that they are wasting their time
2. They are chatting or emailing more than one person, and one of these other cyber relationships become real, and they no longer need to communicate via the internet with people that they have never really met.
3. They are selfish and don't really care about others
4. Their internet connection gets cancelled, or they get banned by the site administrator.
5. Their lives get busy with other priorities and cyber relationships do not rate a high priority any more.
6. Their needs for friendship are met in other ways and they no longer log onto the site.
These are perhaps just some reasons why some people just disappear and don't say "goodbye"....
Many people think that a relationship can be started and maintained through a computer screen, but the reality is that a cyber connection is never real. It is only there as long as someone thinks there is a connection.
Perhaps those that just disappear do so for one or more of the following reasons:
1. They just give up on it thinking that they are wasting their time
2. They are chatting or emailing more than one person, and one of these other cyber relationships become real, and they no longer need to communicate via the internet with people that they have never really met.
3. They are selfish and don't really care about others
4. Their internet connection gets cancelled, or they get banned by the site administrator.
5. Their lives get busy with other priorities and cyber relationships do not rate a high priority any more.
6. Their needs for friendship are met in other ways and they no longer log onto the site.
These are perhaps just some reasons why some people just disappear and don't say "goodbye"....
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Halv0: Many people forget that there are real people at the other end of the computer screen. Cyber dating and cyber relationships are often not real for many people. It is easy to stop, because what they are stopping was never real for them in the first place.
Many people think that a relationship can be started and maintained through a computer screen, but the reality is that a cyber connection is never real. It is only there as long as someone thinks there is a connection.
Perhaps those that just disappear do so for one or more of the following reasons:
1. They just give up on it thinking that they are wasting their time
2. They are chatting or emailing more than one person, and one of these other cyber relationships become real, and they no longer need to communicate via the internet with people that they have never really met.
3. They are selfish and don't really care about others
4. Their internet connection gets cancelled, or they get banned by the site administrator.
5. Their lives get busy with other priorities and cyber relationships do not rate a high priority any more.
6. Their needs for friendship are met in other ways and they no longer log onto the site.
These are perhaps just some reasons why some people just disappear and don't say "goodbye"....
Many people think that a relationship can be started and maintained through a computer screen, but the reality is that a cyber connection is never real. It is only there as long as someone thinks there is a connection.
Perhaps those that just disappear do so for one or more of the following reasons:
1. They just give up on it thinking that they are wasting their time
2. They are chatting or emailing more than one person, and one of these other cyber relationships become real, and they no longer need to communicate via the internet with people that they have never really met.
3. They are selfish and don't really care about others
4. Their internet connection gets cancelled, or they get banned by the site administrator.
5. Their lives get busy with other priorities and cyber relationships do not rate a high priority any more.
6. Their needs for friendship are met in other ways and they no longer log onto the site.
These are perhaps just some reasons why some people just disappear and don't say "goodbye"....
I think that many times they forget it's a human being they are dealing with.
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People here are rational not emotional.
Why goodby? What brings new this information to the other?
No message, everything is clear, isn't it?
This happens also in real life, not just here.
You think to much, and feel to much without any reason.
Detache yourself. Who is writing to you exists, the other not... the cruel life does not care about our feelings...
Why goodby? What brings new this information to the other?
No message, everything is clear, isn't it?
This happens also in real life, not just here.
You think to much, and feel to much without any reason.
Detache yourself. Who is writing to you exists, the other not... the cruel life does not care about our feelings...
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Freeandlooking: I disagree!!!!
You email a people as an exchange of emails and if the person sounds interesting you can continue, if not you can walk away at any time. You dont have to give a reason why you should not continue to email after all its a dating site.
There many who should learn how to deal with life as a general rule and not make assumptions. JMO
You email a people as an exchange of emails and if the person sounds interesting you can continue, if not you can walk away at any time. You dont have to give a reason why you should not continue to email after all its a dating site.
There many who should learn how to deal with life as a general rule and not make assumptions. JMO
I agree. And people unlearn the rules as they get older, weaker and more desperate. Experience seems to break more people than it makes.. at least on CS. I've seen middle-aged "adults" on here that make teenagers look composed and wise to the world.
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Bye bye people! 
I'll just take break from CS (and hide myself for a while). I'll be busy out in the fields, but I'll be back.
Remember to be nice to each other and you'll get friends for life.
See you!
I'll just take break from CS (and hide myself for a while). I'll be busy out in the fields, but I'll be back.
Remember to be nice to each other and you'll get friends for life.
See you!
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mariespoodles: What she said!!
... well said jac
... well said jac
And she said it very well. It's happened to me.
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epirb: don't take it to heart , pretty soon you will do the same thing . In a little way you may become what you once disliked .
+1
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epirb: don't take it to heart , pretty soon you will do the same thing . In a little way you may become what you once disliked .
No way I will never be that type of person. I think people are becoming rude in real life we don't just walk away or leave a date sitting in a cafe and not say good-bye. As they say come on men grow a pair and just say you are not what I am looking for. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea and appreciate the honesty.
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I haven't really left, I'm just not on here as much as I use to be. Life is busy these days. See ya later. 
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I hope you are right smallworlds , after many scammers over a year or so you just might start throwing that mug of coffee over the contacts .
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GOODBYE!
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Halv0: Many people forget that there are real people at the other end of the computer screen. Cyber dating and cyber relationships are often not real for many people. It is easy to stop, because what they are stopping was never real for them in the first place.
Many people think that a relationship can be started and maintained through a computer screen, but the reality is that a cyber connection is never real. It is only there as long as someone thinks there is a connection.
Perhaps those that just disappear do so for one or more of the following reasons:
1. They just give up on it thinking that they are wasting their time
2. They are chatting or emailing more than one person, and one of these other cyber relationships become real, and they no longer need to communicate via the internet with people that they have never really met.
3. They are selfish and don't really care about others
4. Their internet connection gets cancelled, or they get banned by the site administrator.
5. Their lives get busy with other priorities and cyber relationships do not rate a high priority any more.
6. Their needs for friendship are met in other ways and they no longer log onto the site.
These are perhaps just some reasons why some people just disappear and don't say "goodbye"....
Many people think that a relationship can be started and maintained through a computer screen, but the reality is that a cyber connection is never real. It is only there as long as someone thinks there is a connection.
Perhaps those that just disappear do so for one or more of the following reasons:
1. They just give up on it thinking that they are wasting their time
2. They are chatting or emailing more than one person, and one of these other cyber relationships become real, and they no longer need to communicate via the internet with people that they have never really met.
3. They are selfish and don't really care about others
4. Their internet connection gets cancelled, or they get banned by the site administrator.
5. Their lives get busy with other priorities and cyber relationships do not rate a high priority any more.
6. Their needs for friendship are met in other ways and they no longer log onto the site.
These are perhaps just some reasons why some people just disappear and don't say "goodbye"....
These are all very good reasons and interesting to hear your point of view. Just to be clear I am not talking about the messages exchanged on this site I do expect these men to disappear. But when after many message and you discover you do have things in common and exchange emails. In the emails you send pictures and they seem interested and no warning bells are ringing, but one day they are gone. These are the ones I wonder about. Yes maybe they are married or get busy. But I don't buy that I get busy too how long does it take to write 'my life is crazy have to end this sorry.'
Is there anyone who had had this experience too????
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I agree with those who have said it has become the norm in online communication. But that doesn't necessarily make it the "best" way.
I do sometimes say good bye if the person and I have been messaging for awhile (like pikegren or nanners & seek, 2intrigued or Lee). Some i will always message with because we aren't ever going to be romantically involved so we are friends. Even to non romantic friends I will mention that I might be leaving the site or taking a sabbatical :)
But if it's just 1 or 2 off messages I don;t bother
I do sometimes say good bye if the person and I have been messaging for awhile (like pikegren or nanners & seek, 2intrigued or Lee). Some i will always message with because we aren't ever going to be romantically involved so we are friends. Even to non romantic friends I will mention that I might be leaving the site or taking a sabbatical :)
But if it's just 1 or 2 off messages I don;t bother
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tomcatwarne: It's better to say aurevoir.
I prefer to say Bonjour
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Because people never really leave CS
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Sterling_Wollops: Because people never really leave CS
some will never return because they already found the one and some just got banned from this site
Hi SW
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Where did they go sterling?
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smallworlds: These are all very good reasons and interesting to hear your point of view. Just to be clear I am not talking about the messages exchanged on this site I do expect these men to disappear. But when after many message and you discover you do have things in common and exchange emails. In the emails you send pictures and they seem interested and no warning bells are ringing, but one day they are gone. These are the ones I wonder about. Yes maybe they are married or get busy. But I don't buy that I get busy too how long does it take to write 'my life is crazy have to end this sorry.'
Is there anyone who had had this experience too????
Is there anyone who had had this experience too????
Dear smallworlds,
If after lengthy exchanges of messages, photos, etc. someone just stops without any reason given, I think that this is a big warning bell that the person probably was either just playing with you, or collecting photos for his "collection" or something else along these lines. Someone just doesn't do that if there is a real connection from my point of view. They do if they have not invested any real emotion or invested any real interest in the person they have been emailing, etc.
To me, if someone just ups and leaves, then I would really wonder just how genuine they really are/were. And of course this sort of thing hurts a lot.
Some really good scammers will keep a cyber relationship going to collect information to sell to others for identity theft. You would be surprised how many genuine photos end up on scammer profiles. These photos have been stolen from others.
I have known of scammers keeping cyber relationships going for months, even years. These sort of scammers originate mainly from Russia and Eastern Europe. African scammers seem to get impatient with long term scams.
I'm not implying that the friendships you are talking about are scammers, but I'm just pointing out that I do not believe that a genuine friendship would be ended in such a manner if a real connection had been formed.
I suppose it is my opinion, and I am going by my own morals and how I treat those whom I befriend.
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Stats for this Poll
40 Votes
2,267 Views
34 Comments
in Sex & Dating
Created: Apr 2013
Last Viewed: 16 hrs ago
Last Commented: May 2013
Last Voted: Jul 2017
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Why don't people say good bye on these sites?(Vote Below)
I'm not speaking about the obvious scammers with their poor grammar who never answer your questions, these are men (in my case) who seem interested in me. We share some personal information exchange pictures and many emails. Then one day I write to them and nothing. I may write a few times more but never get a reply. Why? Has this happen to anyone else.
When I am not interested in someone I always try to be kind and polite and send an email to explain why I think it will not work for me. So I wonder what other people have experienced. Why have you stopped a contact with someone?