How much jealousy is too much? (99)
Any jealousy is too much..its a wasted emotion..destroys relationships
YouMeUs: Jealousy stems from the lack of trust.
Trust is detrimental to how we perceive ourselves and others.
When trust is complete, there is no jealousy.
Trust is detrimental to how we perceive ourselves and others.
When trust is complete, there is no jealousy.
YouMeUs: Jealousy stems from the lack of trust.
Trust is detrimental to how we perceive ourselves and others.
When trust is complete, there is no jealousy.
Trust is detrimental to how we perceive ourselves and others.
When trust is complete, there is no jealousy.
Instant and immediate trust is naive. The amount of jealousy should be relevant to the state of the relationship. If it is new, and building, jealousy is inappropriate. If it is established, and loving, jealousy shouldn't have a place. If it exists between the two states ... is it relevant? A warning that things aren't right?
1.Jealousy evolves from one that is so weak ended by a smile.
Ocee102: This topic gets handled here much like the topic of liars.
Most people will just provide the P.C. "all jealousy is bad, any sign of jealousy leave....blah blah blah...." It's another one of the "right" dating quiz answers that any sensible 15 year can go deeper than.
Most people giving that answer just want to distance themselves from being labelled, think they're putting some type of warning out into the world that's going to ward off all those evil jealous people, or want to stomp their way through life like emotional bulls in a china shop unfettered by the physics of relationships blaming the dishes for breaking as they hit the floor.
In reality, it's a judgement call.
Appropriate jealously lies somewhere between getting mad your partner smiled at the waitstaff, and not appreciating your partner sleeping naked with their "friend" Alex every other Thursday.
Most people will just provide the P.C. "all jealousy is bad, any sign of jealousy leave....blah blah blah...." It's another one of the "right" dating quiz answers that any sensible 15 year can go deeper than.
Most people giving that answer just want to distance themselves from being labelled, think they're putting some type of warning out into the world that's going to ward off all those evil jealous people, or want to stomp their way through life like emotional bulls in a china shop unfettered by the physics of relationships blaming the dishes for breaking as they hit the floor.
In reality, it's a judgement call.
Appropriate jealously lies somewhere between getting mad your partner smiled at the waitstaff, and not appreciating your partner sleeping naked with their "friend" Alex every other Thursday.
Totally agree with you.
2. To reciprcote the smile.
Ocee102: This topic gets handled here much like the topic of liars.
Most people will just provide the P.C. "all jealousy is bad, any sign of jealousy leave....blah blah blah...." It's another one of the "right" dating quiz answers that any sensible 15 year can go deeper than.
Most people giving that answer just want to distance themselves from being labelled, think they're putting some type of warning out into the world that's going to ward off all those evil jealous people, or want to stomp their way through life like emotional bulls in a china shop unfettered by the physics of relationships blaming the dishes for breaking as they hit the floor.
In reality, it's a judgement call.
Appropriate jealously lies somewhere between getting mad your partner smiled at the waitstaff, and not appreciating your partner sleeping naked with their "friend" Alex every other Thursday.
Most people will just provide the P.C. "all jealousy is bad, any sign of jealousy leave....blah blah blah...." It's another one of the "right" dating quiz answers that any sensible 15 year can go deeper than.
Most people giving that answer just want to distance themselves from being labelled, think they're putting some type of warning out into the world that's going to ward off all those evil jealous people, or want to stomp their way through life like emotional bulls in a china shop unfettered by the physics of relationships blaming the dishes for breaking as they hit the floor.
In reality, it's a judgement call.
Appropriate jealously lies somewhere between getting mad your partner smiled at the waitstaff, and not appreciating your partner sleeping naked with their "friend" Alex every other Thursday.
I also totally agree. Those who deny jealousy as a normal emotion do belong in a liars thread or they're swimmin' in "de-Nile"
Like Jac said, how it's handled is important. It's best to talk it over. If it becomes too obsessive or allowed to fester it will ruin the relationship. But partners should not do things purposely to try to make someone jealous either. Good partners will talk honestly and try to reassure each other
3.To laugh in the face
felixis99: I also totally agree. Those who deny jealousy as a normal emotion do belong in a liars thread or they're swimmin' in "de-Nile"
Like Jac said, how it's handled is important. It's best to talk it over. If it becomes too obsessive or allowed to fester it will ruin the relationship. But partners should not do things purposely to try to make someone jealous either. Good partners will talk honestly and try to reassure each other
Like Jac said, how it's handled is important. It's best to talk it over. If it becomes too obsessive or allowed to fester it will ruin the relationship. But partners should not do things purposely to try to make someone jealous either. Good partners will talk honestly and try to reassure each other
Yeppers
jac_the_gripper: Absolutely.
Our interactions with others are a two way street. It's as much to do with ourselves as the person we're interacting with.
The difference is, the only person we can control is ourselves.
I always feel that jealousy is a waste of time. If your self esteem isn't high enuff, then jealousy is a problem. I don't have time for thatOur interactions with others are a two way street. It's as much to do with ourselves as the person we're interacting with.
The difference is, the only person we can control is ourselves.
jac_the_gripper: Absolutely.
Our interactions with others are a two way street. It's as much to do with ourselves as the person we're interacting with.
The difference is, the only person we can control is ourselves.
Our interactions with others are a two way street. It's as much to do with ourselves as the person we're interacting with.
The difference is, the only person we can control is ourselves.
Nailed it.,
4.Who shall look at me and make judgement?
Elegsabiff:
Mind you, previous fella did used to say things like he'd got a passionate message from a woman on the website who wanted to meet him.
Mind you, previous fella did used to say things like he'd got a passionate message from a woman on the website who wanted to meet him.
Just the fact your previous fella told you he had received a message from another woman is in my opinion a clarification that he felt the relationship between you was solid.
Any jealousy is too much. I don't check up on anyone. If he has to be watched, then they can have him. And vice versa.
Why would your partner be sleeping naked with a friend? He/she must get comfortable there 'cos they won't be coming back this way!
Jealousy is not an emotion that should be present in a relationship. That said, I accept that cases exist whereby the attraction of one for another can be so forceful that jealousy arises despite the person knowing the relationship is strong.
I would suggest that jealousy normally manifests itself after an event. For example seeing an ex GF/BF start a relationship with another person.
I would suggest that jealousy normally manifests itself after an event. For example seeing an ex GF/BF start a relationship with another person.
freetobeme3: Why would your partner be sleeping naked with a friend? He/she must get comfortable there 'cos they won't be coming back this way!
Maybe because your not satisfying him in the sack
allthegoodnamest: Maybe because your not satisfying him in the sack
Maybe he could've manned up and spoken out about that...
Elegsabiff: Instant and immediate trust is naive.
Of course it is. I wasn't suggesting any add-water trust in my post.Where were you seeing that?
Elegsabiff: The amount of jealousy should be relevant to the state of the relationship. If it is new, and building, jealousy is inappropriate.
Which coincides with "Jealousy stems from the lack of trust."Elegsabiff: If it is established, and loving, jealousy shouldn't have a place.
Which coincides with "When trust is complete, there is no jealousy.”Elegsabiff: If it exists between the two states ... is it relevant? A warning that things aren't right?
Only if trust has not and cannot be completely fulfilled/gained, jealousy can still be present and that should be "a warning that things aren't right" between the couple. 
serene56: Maybe he could've manned up and spoken out about that...
Maybe you're right.. I've never been in that position
allthegoodnamest: Maybe you're right.. I've never been in that position
I'm a straightforward person, I don't do grey areas..
People who cheat are low and gutless, there's no excuse.
serene56: I'm a straightforward person, I don't do grey areas..
People who cheat are low and gutless, there's no excuse.
People who cheat are low and gutless, there's no excuse.
serene56: I'm a straightforward person, I don't do grey areas..
People who cheat are low and gutless, there's no excuse.
People who cheat are low and gutless, there's no excuse.
There's always temptations , especially when thing aren't going too well in the relationship but it depends if you're willing to lose everything for the sake of one night of pleasure. Only a fool would choose to risk all
serene56: I'm a straightforward person, I don't do grey areas..
People who cheat are low and gutless, there's no excuse.
People who cheat are low and gutless, there's no excuse.
I feel the same about that.
On jealousy, it's a feeling that can come up. My thinking is that I wouldn't be with someone I couldn't trust. I do make sure that I don't give my partner a reason to be jealous and do expect the same. If someone would try to play games with making me jealous, he would be out of the door. Never had this happening with a partner, but met a good few guys who are into that kind of stuff and hit the road running.
Solamente: Just the fact your previous fella told you he had received a message from another woman is in my opinion a clarification that he felt the relationship between you was solid.
Perhaps the fact that he remained on a dating site actively encouraging other women to write to him made me feel unsettled. Pretty irrational, huh?
serene56: I'm a straightforward person, I don't do grey areas..
People who cheat are low and gutless, there's no excuse.
People who cheat are low and gutless, there's no excuse.
Circumstances alter cases and to know all is to understand all. HOWEVER, I don't do grey areas either. People who want to be with anyone else, however fleetingly, are free to be with anyone else permanently, goodbye, don't let the door hit you on the way out.
KNenagh: I feel the same about that.
On jealousy, it's a feeling that can come up. My thinking is that I wouldn't be with someone I couldn't trust. I do make sure that I don't give my partner a reason to be jealous and do expect the same. If someone would try to play games with making me jealous, he would be out of the door. Never had this happening with a partner, but met a good few guys who are into that kind of stuff and hit the road running.
On jealousy, it's a feeling that can come up. My thinking is that I wouldn't be with someone I couldn't trust. I do make sure that I don't give my partner a reason to be jealous and do expect the same. If someone would try to play games with making me jealous, he would be out of the door. Never had this happening with a partner, but met a good few guys who are into that kind of stuff and hit the road running.
Mindgames generally, WHY? A complete, absolute and final turnoff, I lose interest on the spot but they must work with some people because more and more seem to play them (I'm going here by the polls and blogs more than by personal experience, I'm roger, over and out after the first attempt)
I 'm getting my bathing suitOh the river she's awaitin'
Guilty until proven innocent. When the smallest and twattiest of things trigger the jealousy of the other and you can't through loving affection turn this jealousy on its head and invert the feelings into something passionate and positive, but can only disarm jealousy with cold, hard proof. Jealousy becomes too much when the relationship resembles the atmosphere and nature of a court room.
Jealousy becomes a problem when it's not an emotional story of peaks and troughs, but is instead an irrevocable condemnation of the other person(or yourself)where the relationship feels like one long trough.
Jealousy becomes a problem when it's not an emotional story of peaks and troughs, but is instead an irrevocable condemnation of the other person(or yourself)where the relationship feels like one long trough.
Obstinance_Works: Guilty until proven innocent. When the smallest and twattiest of things trigger the jealousy of the other and you can't through loving affection turn this jealousy on its head and invert the feelings into something passionate and positive, but can only disarm jealousy with cold, hard proof. Jealousy becomes too much when the relationship resembles the atmosphere and nature of a court room.
Jealousy becomes a problem when it's not an emotional story of peaks and troughs, but is instead an irrevocable condemnation of the other person(or yourself)where the relationship feels like one long trough.
Jealousy becomes a problem when it's not an emotional story of peaks and troughs, but is instead an irrevocable condemnation of the other person(or yourself)where the relationship feels like one long trough.
Temporarily
Elegsabiff: Mindgames generally, WHY? A complete, absolute and final turnoff, I lose interest on the spot but they must work with some people because more and more seem to play them (I'm going here by the polls and blogs more than by personal experience, I'm roger, over and out after the first attempt)
Same here, I'm out of the door if someone tries to play mind-games, but I met a good few in the last number of years who tried.
I think it's the ones who don't want a committed relationship, but simply a phone call when "in the mood".
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Trust is detrimental to how we perceive ourselves and others.
When trust is complete, there is no jealousy.