galrads: Expectations determine our reality. Must be nice to have no concerns for major relationship issues such as drama and money.
Stop trying to push your fears onto me!!
If as you say expectations determine our reality then everyone makes their own choices of what reality they create for themselves. So why write a sentence like "Must be nice to have no concerns blah blah blah"? If you want a different reality change or dump your expectations!!
Selenite: Stop trying to push your fears onto me!!
If as you say expectations determine our reality then everyone makes their own choices of what reality they create for themselves. So why write a sentence like "Must be nice to have no concerns blah blah blah"? If you want a different reality change or dump your expectations!!
I am not pushing anything. I just trying to understand how some can not have drama and money expectations in their relationships.
Selenite: I would like to meet someone in real life who has absolutely no expectations from me so I'm totally free to be who I am at any given time. And I'd like to be in a mind space where I have no expectations from him so he's free to be who he is at any given time!! Just beyond human attraction with no agenda, in a story that's not yet been written or rehashed in my mind or his ... Being in one another's company, we will glow. We will know ... that's it ... each day will write itself ...
I agree with you on this subject. When people have expectations of someone they have already put restrictions on a potential relationship.
Most want to be accepted for who they are with their true morals and personality. As you said being in one another's company to get the feeling of fitting in with him/her will create an ambiance of comfort.
secretagent09: I agree with you on this subject. When people have expectations of someone they have already put restrictions on a potential relationship.
Most want to be accepted for who they are with their true morals and personality. As you said being in one another's company to get the feeling of fitting in with him/her will create an ambiance of comfort.
Selenite: No you are not trying to understand... You just keep repeating that it's impossible not to have them... where is your attempt at understanding?
Yes, i believe those two issues are inseparable from relationships and would like to know how people can ignore them...
galrads: Yes, i believe those two issues are inseparable from relationships and would like to know how people can ignore them...
Still not trying to understand and projecting your negativity onto them ... who says anyone is "ignoring the issues" ...
What if there is no issue then there is no drama ...
2 people who existed and functioned emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually and financially before meeting, meet on any given day. They continue to exist and continue to function emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually and financially but now have the pleasure of one another's company on mutually agreeable terms ...
Selenite: Still not trying to understand and projecting your negativity onto them ... who says anyone is "ignoring the issues" ...
What if there is no issue then there is no drama ...
2 people who existed and functioned emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually and financially before meeting, meet on any given day. They continue to exist and continue to function emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually and financially but now have the pleasure of one another's company on mutually agreeable terms ...
the negativity is yours. I am trying to understand how realistic it is to not have expectations in a relationship. I don't understand how anyone can not have concerns and expectations about money and drama in their relationship.
galrads: True but can anyone separate drama and money from expectations and I think all relationships have expectations for money and drama.
Not all relationships may have issues with money, or drama for that matter, but expectations about having enough money and avoiding unnecessary drama may be as a result of one's previous experiences, and or observations about same, thus influencing what he/she looks for in future relationships. Again...realistic.
galrads: the negativity is yours. I am trying to understand how realistic it is to not have expectations in a relationship. I don't understand how anyone can not have concerns and expectations about money and drama in their relationship.
Sorry not accepting your projections ...
you have now repeated the same thing at least 3 times ... you don't understand you say ... sounds more like you don't accept it as a possibility ...
I'm bowing out of a conversation that isn't one and is going round in circles ... Good night Gal!
Didi7: Not all relationships may have issues with money, or drama for that matter, but expectations about having enough money and avoiding unnecessary drama may be as a result of one's previous experiences, and or observations about same, thus influencing what he/she looks for in future relationships. Again...realistic.
Maybe some relationships do not have issues with money or drama, but It is unrealistic to belive that people do not have expectations about these issues and how to deal with them if problems arise especially as we get older most people want stability. and few things are constant. I think every day we wake up we are a different person to some degree.
Selenite: Sorry not accepting your projections ...
you have now repeated the same thing at least 3 times ... you don't understand you say ... sounds more like you don't accept it as a possibility ...
I'm bowing out of a conversation that isn't one and is going round in circles ... Good night Gal!
Repeated to some degree yes in an attempt to communicate. I shouldn't expect differently wih you though. You seem to feel threatened by attempts to understand things.
Didi7: Not all relationships may have issues with money, or drama for that matter, but expectations about having enough money and avoiding unnecessary drama may be as a result of one's previous experiences, and or observations about same, thus influencing what he/she looks for in future relationships. Again...realistic.
Everyone is different... projecting one's past experiences onto people we haven't even met yet is not what I call a realistic expectation...
Not sure I understand your definition of realistic ...
galrads: Repeated to some degree yes in an attempt to communicate. I shouldn't expect differently wih you though. You seem to feel threatened by attempts to understand things.
Good morning Selenite.
You repeating over and over that you don't understand how it can be so whatever I say, is not an attempt at understanding !!
Stop projecting your judgments onto others including me!! I don't feel threatened, I feel it's a waste a time. Not exactly the same Gal
Selenite: You repeating over and over that you don't understand how it can be so whatever I say, is not an attempt at understanding !!
Stop projecting your judgments onto others including me!! I don't feel threatened, I feel it's a waste a time. Not exactly the same Gal
Its regrettable you feel defensive by my questions related to the op subject. Yes that is my opinion and it might not be your reality . Everything i state is my opinion and i like to question people on their ideas... not necessarily project mine.
I have no expectations. Come what may. Beggars can not be choosy. The grass is greener on the other side. Life is full of surprises. I worry in the coffin. I will get a hundred virgins in heaven, so why care in this life. Why only one relationship Why have one in the first place. So many choices so little time.
I don't have expectations, but standards... I meet my own standards and expect the other one to meet his... You can't expect anything from someone who has no standards, can you?
At this stage I don't know if I'll be in another relationship, but if I were then it'd only be with someone who's decent, kind, good humoured and capable of emotional connection. the latter is probably the most important for me and always has been.
PeKaatjeAnkeveen, North Holland Netherlands6,334 posts
I'm looking for a woman a little younger than me, not more than 10 years. And she shouldn't want to have more children, if she has children already it's okay. But I'm 54 now and as a parent you will be there for your children as long as possible, I don't want to leave my children behind when they're not yet ready for it.
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