Have posted a few things today, for the first time, and am already quite hooked! I think I've found a most enjoyable time-passer while I finish out my next couple of months here in Kabul, Afghanistan. My profile says I am in Greece, but if you read the first part of my profile, you will see that I actually departed there in the summer. But I will soon be returning, as I had hoped, and will be there for 3 years. Can't wait! Anyway, just thought it proper to introduce myself. Looking forward to making lots of new virtual friends!
I don't think there's a clear and definitive answer here; certainly not a "One size fits all" sort of answer. But, answering just for me, I guess that "enough is enough" point comes when I recognize that the good times are outweighed by the bad; when I seem to be unhappy more than I am happy; when I cry more and laugh less. And it may be that I have been in this state for awhile, but awareness and recognition are the keys to knowing that the relationship has played itself out. I have been in that sort of situation before, and ending it was very painful because I still loved many things about the man I was leaving. But I just knew that it was more detrimental for me (emotionally) to stay with him than it would be to be alone.
Shipoker55... Got a little lump in my throat when I read your post...and also your profile. It saddens me that you feel you are brass and you know you will not meet someone...and, in your profile, you said that you need someone to make you smile, as you seldom do. I wish I could send a big, huge dose of self-confidence your way. You sound like a very nice and insightful man (I liked your line about the solitude of self-examination), and you should give yourself far more credit as a man worthy of a good woman. I really hope you can find more to appreciate about yourself, as I'm sure there is a lot within you (and perhaps, externally as well, though that's secondary) of value and that would appeal to women. Lift your head, good man...it's amazing how much more you will see and how much more beautiful life will appear when your head is not hanging down. SINCERE good wishes for you.
Thanks, Topside! All is well...I was bummed out for a bit (not gonna deny it), but this happened a few weeks ago and I got over it quite quickly. Still, I occasionally wonder why. That's all. But I appreciate your kind words....a hug back at ya!
I'm trying to understand something that happened recently. After a very nice hours-long first date (and, ultimately, LAST date) with a man (he didn't suddenly remember an early appointment the next morning or some sort of escape excuse!), I didn't hear back from him again. OK. I'm a grown woman and can certainly handle this. I'm not emotionally fragile and I'm not the sort of woman that has one good night out and immediately subscribes to "Brides" Magazine! But I was really curious as to why he would compliment me off and on throughout the evening, tell me he wanted to spend as much time as possible with me, tell me very early in our evening that he wanted to kiss me (which he did), and tell me how much he enjoyed being with me and how comfortable he felt with me, etc....and then, nothing further whatsoever. But back to my question. I sent him an email, after 2 attempts to reach him by phone over several days, and told him, "I get it...yet I don't." In the email, I asked him to just tell me why....why did he obviously NOT want to see me again, although all of his indications and words during our time together told me differently. He DID answer my email, but didn't really answer my question. He told me that I was out of his league, which I'm certain was a b.s. reply. I don't pester men, so I let it go and never contacted him again. But I wonder now...if a woman asks you to tell her WHY you don't choose to see her again (same question applies in reverse for women to answer)...would you? Appreciate your answers in advance!
I don't see any sense in that line, either, other than the possibility that this is someone's way of feeling better about THEIR loss...less rejected, in other words. This would be a comment that one makes when they have been told that the relationship is over or something similar, so they are now in that dreaded place we've all been at one time or another...they are being dumped, to whatever the degree. Never a good feeling. So, I guess the "Your loss" line is reactionary and an attempt at self-preservation of dignity or something. Just my 2 cents.
As an aside, I've just started reading the forum posts and enjoying myself immensely. I am currently in Kabul, Afghanistan...can't go anywhere outside of the compound where I work, live, and eat. So this will prove to be an enjoyable time-passer for me during the hours after I finish work. Soon heading back to my favorite 2nd homeland, Greece. But, for now, I will look forward to making new online aquaintances. Cheers!
I must admit that I haven't seen the movie, although I intend to. But I wanted to recommend an excellent book about the battle of Thermopylae. Read Steven Pressfield's "Gates of Fire". It's simply brilliant. From Herodotus:
"Although extraordinary valour was displayed by the entire corps of Spartans and Thespians, yet bravest of all was declared the Spartan Dienekes. It is said that on the eve of battle, he was told by a native of Trachis that the Persian archers were so numerous that, when they fired their volleys,the mass of arrows blocked out the sun. Dienekes, however, quite undaunted by this prospect, remarked with a laugh, 'Good. Then we'll have our battle in the shade'."
Thalassa Forum Posts (2,410)
a broad abroad
Buster...Muah!