marikia Poetry (260)

Little snowdrops hiding where you are,
Straighten your stalks and open up.
Spring is coming fast, hear the creeks?
Winter vainly tries to check its speed.

Winter's slack and aging very quick,
Look at pretty blossoms, bright and brisk.
Sky's in fluffy clouds, gray and white,
It is still so early, listen, crack of ice.

Spring, hold on, it is not your time,
Wait till winter turns over and dies.

If only did I know I had just week
Before death holds me in its cold embrace,
Before the black palette of the Beyond
Paints mourning funeral colors.
I would embrace then worldly sun
And let it burn itself, burn up,
I’d open breast of mine wide to the rain
That would be pouring down on me for this last time!
I would then call on motherland’s all sites,
Press me against King David's grave,
See for last time high towers of the Svans
Now crumbling, almost falling to the ground…
I would then climb on bold cliffs on all fours
And kiss the land, feel fragrance of the soil…
It’s as it seems the only time
When the Eternal I would ever feel.
How could I ever leave this place
Without a child that has been torn off breast,
I would go see Abkhazia, dear land, and
In the thoughts I’d thwart the foes’ attacks.
Back to the capital then I would make my way
And feel the breath of old town once again,
I’d kiss its walls, such spots, in which
No soul would even wish to live…
I would then gaily stroll the streets,
Little hands I would be seeing stretched to me,
I would then take them into mine and say:
“I will protect you against killers, evil spell”.
How would I act, if I had only three days left?
Pay visits to the hearths of all loved ones,
Fondle them, embrace, and open heart,
Repent for all the wrong I’ve ever done,
Beg to forgive for whatever I’ve said,
For what I’ve failed to say, for being what I am:
“If I did something wrong, I didn’t mean offense,
There’s never been such thing as sinless man...”
Should our Lord so gracious me permit
Each poem that I’d write would be a gift to each,
A fragment there would be of force I feel,
That has embraced my heart for all the years I lived.
Much feeling, sympathy, a warmth, caress,
There’s nothing else that I could offer, friends.
The part of soul that has survived the death
Is what we value all, regard as best.
And then exactly one day prior to the death
I’d go to place where Lord our dwells,
And take communion… then of my life repent
In no more than two simple phrase.
And in the evening when I am back home
A sadness would take grip on me and hold,
Then I would wish I had in store more days,
If such predicament as this I overcame.
For my dream’s nothing more than a name,
Deeds of honor salvation to gain!
I would hate being dead in a way
That of wishes mere dreams have remained…
I would wish that my Lord should tomorrow
Send salvation Messiah to me…
So that I should fulfill debt of honor
And then die in a way us befits.
Then I wouldn’t feel much regret,
Only pain would then silently flash
When confronted with death’s evil eyes
When the silence absorbs soul of mine.

Thinking, oh, how good it was! Thinking on this New Year’s eve,
Thank you, friends, for taking time, speaking high about me,
Many kind and gracious words may be thus addressed to thee,
You’re my refuge and my ties with the world outside of me.

Thanks for all the good you've done and for more you are to give,
Toast of joy let’s lift to us, toast to luck in joyful glee!
New Year’s coming, we're on eve, let us wish ourselves good things,
Let’s be joyful at a time when our planet takes its leap
To a new and wondrous start! New Year’s coming! Let it be!!!

“Why did we meet?” - I asked the God,
“Why is it that I love again as never did?”
The God responded: “Wait a little more,
Soon I will make you part – no more to meet.

You know, together you are not to be,
Not in this life for sure, just believe me,
But you yourself are well aware of this,
Law cannot be reversed, there’s not a thing for it.

It were you who asked to stay with him for blink,
For mere instance, just to look into his eyes.
No thanks, no gratitude from you I now need,
Though I’m aware you are sending curses up.

I gave you little more than you had asked,
If only for a shorter time, if not for endless spell.
But was is not for what you ever cried?
With him you’re happy, aren’t you?” And I will answer: “Yes!”

“Wasn’t it for what you ever prayed?
Feel happiness with him, be it for little while,
Say all you ever failed to say,
His tenderness, its smell to breathe inside.

You asked for kiss, I gave you nights,
You asked for tenderness, I gave you lust.
I gave you more, in vain you agonize,
It’s always painful falling from the height.”

“Do you remember, God, to you I prayed,
To let a part of him with me remain?”
And He responded in despondent way:
“I have this happiness in store for someone else.

Hold on to what you have, feel no regret for past,
And just remember that he was your happy chance,
That tenderness you keep in mind, with which you loved,
I’ll bring him back in dreams once you have closed the eyes.”

August 20, 2015

A touch of moonbeams, gentle breeze,
A pleasant bubbling of the spring,
A tactful touch of hands, in dreams
They lived whole life in such a bliss.

Two lonely souls in whispering shadows,
Two desperate hearts engulfed in trance,
They walk in dark on flowery meadows,
Their lifelong dreams now realized.

I see it flickering in your eyes,
Your love is there, I know that much.
You make me feel I’m out of time
Your love is there at me to shine,
At me to shine, I know that much.

Oh what a blessing, what a time,
What is your fare for such a love,
Will it be fair, can I compare?
It may be millions for my luck,
But I don't care be it as much,
Oh I don't care, don't care much.

Your love reflected in your eyes
Is what makes things surrounding us
Seem like a dream - like paradise,
So take me there, I'll pay my price!

I haven’t asked for love, you know it’s truth,
And never have I done so much as soul to bare.
It was so obvious from start my love was doomed,
But it's so comforting - the selflessness of care.
For once again when I see you pass by
Engaged in talk with lady, smiling thus,
I wish I were that lady just for once
To hold that tender look and stare in kind.
There’s nothing to be done, I’ll stand aside,
I’ll never bother you by showing painful heart.
And then the memory of you will slowly die,
To be replaced, who knows, with better chance?!
Oh, unrequited love has got no real bite,
It’s heart that hurts, but then who cares for heart?!

***
You walk with a childish grin – mere girl,
And wherever you go you pose proudly and stalk,
And the apple - the one in right hand that you hold -
It becomes you as flower that’s stuck in your locks.

You stop all of sudden, you're pale, eyes amazed,
On rare occasion you smile, feeling great.
How fair you are seems you don’t understand,
Meaning you really know – it is true, it's a fact.

Oh, I walk on this earth unperturbed,
Though at times I am cheerful, glad,
And I seem not to know whether I love you or not,
Meaning I really care, it's fact.

***
I remember once in a grove moonlit night,
You promised with smile me to love – t’was so nice!
I believed, for in world there’s a lie, sweetest lie,
Which you wish to believe, of which prey you become.

Now that this moonless night for my sake you light up,
With smile you that promise once made have denied,
I never believed, for in world some truth’s hard,
One you’ll hate to believe, one you'll never give trust.


***
I remember your paleness, the whisper of lips,
Making promise: “I’ll follow you down to tomb,
Where love is so pure, so speckless,
Where love is forever, for good…”

Everybody is gone, you’re the only one left,
And I see now the shadows on long journey bent.
It is time, for my grave has been waiting for days,
Are you ready, my sweetheart, to follow my steps?

So now we’re about to start.
What would become of us,
If there in Lovers’ pass
The skies had cleared up?!
If skies had cleared up,
I'd give up soul, whole life.
What wrong to world have we done
By being so much in love?

Love's shaking and rattling us,
Our heart in anguish cries,
How bitter-sweet, how hard
Is fairy tale of love!

How fast time slipped away,
How swiftly has it passed,
Love you – what else should I say?
Just this much is not enough.
If skies had cleared up,
I’d give up soul, whole life.
What wrong to world have we done
By being so much in love?!

Love's shaking and rattling us,
Our heart in anguish cries,
How bitter-sweet, how hard
Is fairy tale of love!

And so my story’s done,
If sweet, it’s yours to keep.
A little girl - she once
Saw little boy in her dream.

I'm old enough to be your granddad, son,
Might even be your great-grandfather thus,
I'm in the night and
So a year will have swiftly passed;
… When both my flesh,
And bones have crumbled to dust,
When peaks of Caucasus
Like silver glisten and sparkle,
“Grandad, it’s dawning!” –
Don’t forget to call me down, son!

Oh Poet! Cherish not too much the people’s love.
That fleeting noise of rapturous shouts won’t last;
Fool’s judgment will you hear, throng will laugh,
Stay firm instead and cool, in gloom entranced.

You’re king: you live alone. On road of lore
Walk following your free, unbridled mind,
Perfecting fruits of your beloved thoughts,
Not asking for reward for noble deeds of yours.

Reward - it dwells in you. Yourself – a court supreme,
Can judge your work by strict appraisal of your will,
Are you, severe judge, contented with its worth?

Contented if you are let crowd scold and whip
And spit on altar where your flame is lit,
And shake in childish playfulness your tripod!

We need someone special to teach us survive,
The art of compassion, endurance and strife,
With kindness of heart and forgiveness in eyes,
We need someone special, could you be the one?

We need someone special right here by our side,
In life’s troubled waters there’s nowhere to hide,
This path is unbroken, this sky’s overcast,
This moon looks so dismal, sun’s not on our side.

We need someone special, seems not much to ask,
I guess there are many who play seek and find,
I guess there are legions of people like us
Just hosts of nice people so lonely at heart.

We need someone special, could you be the one?
Cast off all such doubts as distance and clime,
What if it’ll be better if love’s our guide?!
What matters in real is life – yours and mine.