steve1223 Poetry (718)

One by one the contestants lined up
With their pants to mid mast lowered
Here they were, the best of the best
At the Aquim World competition for farting

Three different areas they would all be judged on
For this honour to be World Champion
The judges were ready to sound the bell
And the audience in their seats all excited

The sound it made was deemed important
Whether pitched high, low or an explosive sound
The length sustained was of high importance
But the smell achieved would be the winning glory

First off the rank was the wharfie, Mary the Fairy
Short of stature but wide of girth
Out ripped the farts like from a machine gun
And the smell was quite something to sniff

The audience roared their appreciation
While some on the front seats gagged
The judges conferred, seemed unanimous
The score card they held up read a seven

Next came a lady, well only by name
Her arse took up two seats coming here on the plane
She let forth a rip that droned on and on
For something so loud the smell was gone

The audience groaned, their disappointment clear
They expected something, a quality much better
The judges were quick, up went the card
To her was given nothing better than three

Next was Abdhul Hameed, the driver of camels
A hairy posterior matted with shyte
He let rip with a smell most foul
Then tragedy struck, down his legs it ran

The audience gasped, then yelled in disgust
Rules were broken, this just was not allowed
Up jumped the judges with red card displayed
Abdhul forced to leave with head hung in shame

Patrick Fitzmichael, the Irishman next
A digger of ditches, a man in training for years
The sound was loud, a high pitched squeal
And the smell was rather obnoxious

The crowd went wild as the smell hit them
He was the best this night so far
Nine point five, the judges’ card read
Tonight he was far out in front

The last one to go was a man named Bluey
He was an Aussie, real tall and skinny
The audience booed, what could he do
This skinny roustabout from the bush

His hands reached back and his cheeks opened
The audience gasped as it winked at them
No warning at all, the sound suddenly reached them
Super sonic boom like a jet flying past

From the strength of the blast the first row fell
And the second in their seats were rocked
Shocked were the judges, how could this happen
Never in history had a blast been this strong

On and on the sound kept coming
Would the end never arrive
Then oh my gawd, the smell that followed
One whiff enough and down they fell

The judges from pockets their gas masks they grabbed
Never once they’ve been needed before
On the spot Bluey was given the coveted medal
Of the best farter in the whole wide world

Those still conscious in the audience
Could barely manage a cheer
But Bluey was happy as his pants he lifted
For he still had plenty left to give

There’s no god, it’s all a lie, just stories to tell your children.
All my life I’ve lived this way, the way where god’s not present.
I suppose I’ve sinned, so many times, if you go by that religious credo.
Now my time the end it nears, there are questions that need answers.
What if I’ve been wrong, and they are right, heaven and hell exists.
These questions through my mind they run, as seconds turn to minutes.
All too quickly these minutes add up, as my remainder is counted in hours.

Beneath a sky of blazing red
She twists and turns in agony
The pain so keen from feet it starts
Like on broken glass she’s walking

The scream that bursts forth from her lips
Is lost in the silent echoes
It bounces round neath Heaven and Hell
But neither take any notice

Her skin peels off, drops to the ground
Leaves her standing red raw naked
Flies swarm, on her flesh they feast
To drive them off was futile

Yet still she lived within her shell
Her heart shattered, millions of pieces
So many walked right on past
Beneath façade not one could see

Time stood still as she looked around
And wondered where she was
Her mind was blank, there was nothing there
No name, nor who she was

All around her the world moved on
The hustle and bustle of the city
The faces hard, the distant stare
Not one gave her a thought

Try as she might, nothing came to mind
Her thoughts encased on fog
Here and there the edges ragged
A glimpse so tantalising

Helen, my name is Helen
This thought in her mind took hold
Just when she believed that there was more
It was all gone again

Round she wandered, lost and scared
In this city she had lived life long
But by this cursed fate of old age
Her memory is mostly gone

I thought that love would forever last
But it ran through the cracks in my broken cup
The thirsty ground all sucked it up
Just left behind some dirty stains

I thought round rally my family would
When despair knocked on my front door
But one by one and two by two
The thin air claimed each and every one

I thought the things of a lifetime of getting
Hard earned luxuries both big and small
They'd be to enjoy near journey's end
Not plucked away by greedy grasping hands

I thought that trust over the years was built
That each would believe the other
How naive to believe this is true
In minutes the world can tumble

I thought that life would never change
And yet I stand amongst the scattered ruins
So many things are lost and gone
And the saddest loss of all is you

“It’s time to feed,” said she
With a wicked grin
As her fangs she exposed

By moonlight’s glint
He could see
Saliva dripping from

Cool breeze blew
Through the woods
Froze sweat on his brow

His legs were leaden
And his terror rose
Unable to escape

The moon up high
Behind clouds hid
From the ghastly scene below

When she finished
Her lips she licked
Was rather a pleasant feast

Backwards and forwards through time he travels
Each day much like the other
He continues to seek but does not discover
This burden is so hard to bear

Now and then he passes another
Also on a quest like his
Eyes haunted and face so haggard
Desperation etched in every line

Across the centuries he's been searching
Dim is memory of what he seeks
He's sure to know when he stumbles across it
Until then he will carry on

Sitting on the mountain looking down
The world spread out before me
Madly running all around
Like ants here and there they scurry

Do they even know what they do
Or what urges drive them onwards
These acts they do so crazy are
No rhyme or reason binds them

Blood splashes across the moon
And casts a red, deathly shadow
Bodies on top of each other pile up
The stench reaches right up to Heaven

Angels weep and tears they spill
So much that rivers swollen
For every tear a soul’s cut loose
But most not bound for Heaven

Down in Hell the demons party
Their job has never been so easy
Mankind begs to enter Hell
None are denied their entrance

Life goes on day by day
And the gloom and doom darkens
Is this what I sent my son for
To die for your redemption

Here and there a little flicker
A spot of light in this dark world
Just for those it was all worthwhile
And for the rest my heart is breaking

Slowly she walked amongst the ruins
The dead at her feet were scattered
Ground was soaked with the guilty's blood
Not one knew what had hit them

In every direction her eyes were cast
The bodies were grotesquely twisted
Faces contorted in last agonies scream
As they hung on to life in final seconds

Not one human on this earth moved
Each and every spark had been extinguished
In five years or six and not much more
No trace left that humankind had existed

And still she walked amongst the dead
Her heart so heavy with sorrow
So many centuries mankind had thrived
It took her but seconds to end it

The canker so deep had corrupted all
For none there was redemption
Time and time she had tried to cure
But in vain were all her efforts

A tear of regret trickled down her cheek
For this had been her beloved creation
Maybe another time, another world
She'd create another in her image

I suffer from P H S
A disease most debilitating
My friends and family me they shun
Their embarrassment never ending

Gather round come supper time
I'm left in the corner sulking
"It's not my fault," I try to say
But no-one wants to listen

I dread the time when full moon comes
I lose control of all my senses
Quickly comes upon me the change
No time for tears to be shedding

My body shakes, twists and turns
I turn into this horrid creature
I try to speak but all they hear
Are these sounds I make all garbled

Why is this curse upon me placed
To this I have no answer
While full moon holds sway in the sky
To this monster I keep changing

My beautiful fur has dropped, is gone
Left exposed with pink skin showing
Forced to walk on my hind legs
This feels so terribly unnatural

Oh what I'd give to be cured of this
And no more to be changing
Running free with my pack
And not change into a human

I love to go to the woods at night
And howl at the moon
Chase small furry creatures round
And with my knife rip them apart
But I am quite normal

I love to shop at department stores
And wear ten pants at once
Then I slowly waddle out the door
And then run like hell
But I am quite normal

I love to drink at my local pub
Downing one beer after another
I get so full the room spins around
And the floor comes up to meet me
But I am quite normal

I love to ride my motor bike
I think I'm a big tough bikie
It's a Honda 90 step through
Red hot pink the colour painted
But I am quite normal

I'm normal and straight
And oh so very boring
The rest of you, there's something wrong
You must be weird and crazy
For I am quite normal

Moon peeking through the clouds
To see what's happening below
Ghouls and goblins roam around
And rotting mummies move so slow

Witches with their brooms zoom around
While ghostly specters haunt
The living dead along streets shuffle
Their ghastliness to flaunt

Oh what a frightful night this is
When monsters rule the streets
Come tomorrow when sun is up
These monsters will count their treats

So another Halloween's come and gone
And costumes are put away
The monsters sleep for another year
Until the next time they come to play