steve1223 Poetry (718)

Now I don't know if you've heard
Of the Baked Bean competition
Where contestants eat as much as can
In just twenty five minutes

Up they lined ready to start
To gobble up these dishes
Standing by were huge black pots
Ready to refill empty dishes

There was Kieren the Fat
A man of gargantous girth
One would think he could eat a horse
For dessert polish off a camel

Then Lucy who rolled into her place
As wide as she was tall
Rumours said she ate her kids
When out of food she ran

Andre the Giant, a pig of a man
Stood all of seven foot six
His pants hel up by shiny black belt
With his flab hanging over that

Next was Amelia, we all know her
Shape as dainty as a brood sow
Eats and eats and never full
She'll be one hell of a contender

Last of all, a ringer you might say
A skinny runt of a man
Who was this one trying to fool
The one called Poetnumber1

The bowls were filled, ready to go
As soon as signal given
One last look up and down the line
And the starter pistol was fired

Kieren the Fat wasted no time
Sucked down bowl after bowl
And keeping pace bowl for bowl
Was Lucy next to him

Andre the Giant he too kept pace
Matched them bowl for bowl
But blow me down, an early lead
Amelia was ahead by one

But what is this, My eyes don't believe
This Poetnumber1
Bowl after bowl goes down his throat
He's leading by a mile

Kieren the Fat is slowing down
And so is Lucy too
I think they called an end to them
They managed to reach fifty two

Andre the Giant he had enough
His score was sixty one
Amelia still going strong
But Poetnumber1's out front

At eighty eight Amelia stopped
Gave one look and dropped
Probably lay there for a week or two
Before she'll finally wake

But Poetnumber1 is still going strong
He's reached one hundred and three
The bell was rung, winner declared
It was Poetnumber1

A sudden hush fell over crowd
As gurgling sounds were heard
A pained look on Poetnumber1's face
And then the world exploded

The smell so bad as you can imagine
People screaming in fear
And in the middle, with smile on face
Stood Poetnumber1

I must admit, he was very polite
He did say 'Pardon me'
But by this time most had fainted
Or screaming ran away

Sitting here on Mount Olympus
Sad and lonely God am I
Men have moved on
They need me not
Redundant I've become
Was a time when men waged war
My name on their lips
Sing their songs to glorify
Blood ran like streams
How glorious were those days
But now just a memory
Man has now found a new god
Himself he does now worship

Warning! warning! black hole approaching
A black hole as everyone knows
Sucks in matter as it approaches
Matters not if it's steak or chops
Food of any description it swallows
Warning! warning! black hole approaching
My teenage son is home

Down the highway she was speeding
Like a demon bound for hell
Kids are waiting, have to cook tea
Hurry home to be with them

Faster, faster, push the limit
Shave a minute here and there
Overtake in the last second
I'm sure I'll make it past there

Kids are grieving round the grave site
Lost their mother much too young
Can't understand why it happened
Why their mummy's not coming home

Down the highway she still speeds
Now she's really bound for hell
All the heartache and the anguish
Left behind for all to bear

Now I’m sure that you remember Gresunda. Who could forget that nasty midwife. If you remember was Gresunda, she was the oldest of the midwives, and like the compass point she represented, down, she certainly was. Short, fat and yet wizened, usually people of her ample stature were smooth of skin. Low to the ground she shuffled barely managing to put one foot in front of the other. Well she certainly had not improved.

It started out as just whispering around the village and soon it grew into more than just whispers. People remembered that it was Gresunda that had placed the curse on poor sweet baby Mara. Now people of Hamburg could, if the circumstances were right, become quite nasty.

Soon the whispers turned into nasty stares as Gresunda walked past. The Ettobels, owners of the local Buyem Here store refused to serve Gresunda and she had to resort to catching Grobels from the woods. For those that don’t know Grobels are furry little creatures looking a bit like a rat with eight legs. They make good eating especially if you pickle them in Bier for a day or two.

It was not long before the whispers and stares turned to outright threats. When Ergthortar one of the local hunters and father to be visited Gresunda to elicit her aid he found the invite to the christening stuck under the carpet with just a corner sticking out. Quickly the word spread throughout the village.

Gresunda did have an invite and it was just her sloppy ways that made her misplace it. There had not been even the faintest reason to curse baby Mara. Whispers had turned to stares had turned to outright threats and now was the time to act. A meeting of all the villagers was called.

Meanwhile back at Hamburg things were going along as things normally did. There were still crooked ramshackle houses scattered higgledy piggledy everywhere and in between the houses the pigs foraged for food digging their snouts into the ground churning up the mud even more. Then they would, mud and all, go traipsing through the houses.

The ground was even more deeply rutted from where the cows made their way down from the hills in the morning into the houses to be milked, and afterwards slowly wound their way back into the hills. Most houses still had a rooster on the roof to herald in the new day.

Most of the time was the time of the year when the fog constantly rolled down from the hills to blanket the countryside like a wet clammy blanket and when the day progressed the rains would come washing the fog away and leaving everything soaked and dripping.

Nothing had changed as far as that was concerned. No-one had even noticed that the twenty two brothers had left. Everyone was much too busy doting on baby Mara. Even at the tender age of two it was evident that the blessings Saria of the South compass point had sung was starting to take effect. Her intelligence was enormous.

By two she was speaking eight languages. These were Afrikaans, Albanian, Amharic, Arabic, Assamese, Armenian, Aymara and Azerbaijani. She was working to learn all these languages alphabetically. People came from these countries just to speak with this miracle child. All the village people would sit around smiling and nodding. This was their Mara and they were so proud.

Soar on eagles wings
Closer to the sun
Lifted by your love
Keeps me aloft

Finally they reached a place called Austria. The language of the inhabitants was almost the same sound as German except it was more melodious. It was here high in the Alps that they decided to settle. They built their home there and opened what they called a monastery. They called it ' Boys Unwanted Monastic Society' or B.U.M.S. for short.

Soon they had unwanted boys coming from all over Austria and Germany. It was then the eldest brother came up with the idea of producing the Bier that was produced in their village. They then would open a Gasthaus and trade the Bier for items of value. They all agreed that it was a good idea. The only problem was they did not have the full recipe.

What they ended up producing was far stronger than anything ever produced in Hamburg and one pint could knock a man out for days on end. They called it Bums Bier. One guest that arrived had a prodigious thirst and drank more than a dozen bottles. When he finished he gave a mighty burp and fell to the ground. There he lay for twenty years. The story is oft told of old Rip Caravan Wrinkled.
The brothers lived happily in the Austrian Alps and flourished. Their little enterprise grew so big that they had to expand into other countries. Soon they had Gasthauses everywhere

Softly she walks by evening light
At peace with the world around her
Words of hope and words of comfort
Gladly does she spread

No thought could enter in her mind
To make you feel less welcome
Nor would she by thought or deed
Do anything to hurt you

A spirit glow upon her face
Reflection of God’s resplendence
I wish that I could be like that
A beacon for His glory

I need to sidetrack a bit here. Now you might remember that Mara had twenty two brothers. Twenty two boys who were unwanted and brought no joy to their parents. In actual fact they were not just unwanted they were considered to be a nuisance for they took up precious space and ate precious food.

So all the brothers conferred together and decided to leave Hamburg and try to find a new home. They travelled across Germany which took them many years. One of the villages they went through was called Berlin. What a strange village that was. Right through the centre of the village was a tremendous wall and no-one was allowed to through the huge wooden doors.

There was guards stationed at the doors to make sure that no-one went from one side of the village to the other. If someone tried the guards would throw cow dung at them. Now this was not the old dried out cow dung you usually find in the fields but fresh from the cows that were kept in stalls right there at the doors. . Have you ever been hit in the face by fresh cow dung? If you have you would not attempt to go through the huge doors.

The twenty two brothers decided that they also did not want to get hit in the face by this terrible smelling cow dung so they wisely decided to go around the wall. That was allowed but not through the wall. They were very strange people.

She began to sing in her gruff and croaky voice. A voice that sent shivers down the assembled people.



Baby sweet dreaming so still
Of dear old Hamburg town
Never knowing all this time
Of the curse I shall bestow
Far away you travel will
To a land across the sea
Language so different be
No German shall you hear



Never before had such a curse been invoked. The parents wailed and fell into each others arms and their tears fell to the floor. They cried so many tears that they flowed outside and they collected into a pool. To this day this pool is known as The Wailing Pool. The assemblage howled and beat their breasts. . How could this happen to their adorable Mara?



But, just then the fifth midwife who had not yet given her blessing stepped forwards. She represented the compass point up. She waved her hand and with a soft spoken “quiet” had an instant hush fall over the Meeting Hall. Suddenly there was an expectation that just maybe things might be all right.



Aaliya moved towards the cradle. She appeared to float on air as she moved, such was her grace and beauty. Once at the cradle she began to sing in a soft melodious voice, like the voice of an angel.



Cursed you are and cursed shall stay
For this I cannot alter
But soften blow of curse you have
Your spirit there will settle
And all around love will grow
And turn the curse to blessing



Instantly hope returned in the Meeting Hall. It would appear that the horrid fate of their beautiful baby Mara had been altered. That they would eventually lose her was now ordained but she would not suffer a cruel fate.

Soft billowy clouds
Piled on top of each other
Like waves breaking on shore
Sun peaks through
Here and there
As it rides across the sky
Spreads it's gentle warmth
And brightens up my day