Last Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

If you recall when Hillary lost, Republicans started in with the Hillary Derangement Syndrome for anyone who couldn't believe Trump won. They switched to the Trump Derangement Syndrome as Hillary faded out. Actually, it's not completely gone as I've seen mention of Hillary from time-to-time... probably used by the Obama was born in Kenya group.
So now it's their turn to whack Biden. Too bad he inherited a steaming pile of turd. Oh... when one administration is leaving office, they are to officially turn over the play book. Kinda like Trump telling Biden what deal(s) he made with the Taliban for the Afghanistan issue. You know... small things like that. Or, where money was appropriated for distribution of the new vaccine.

(I'm thinking Trump sabotaged the new administration and that trickles down to America as a whole.)

Those issues don't get considered. Probably because Republicans are saying Biden is a feeble, senile old man suffering from dementia. I know if you say anything many times (true or false) about something, people will eventually believe you. The Obama/Kenya thing for example. Yeah, Biden is one guy, a leader with a team of advisers. I read yesterday, someone called him Obambiden! Pretty funny... yeah?

The syndrome now isn't Democrats complaining about Trump. It's Republicans complaining about Biden. How many more certified voter recounts does America need??
I haven't checked, but I'm guessing there are a few blogs a week of Republicans suffering from BDS.

Take a look in the mirror as you say others are suffering from TDS reveals you are suffering from BDS.




Although the blog is tagged Comedy, it's really a serious matter.

The first apple.(this..A. Red head)
A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car. Both of their cars are demolished, but amazingly neither of them was hurt.
After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said; "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”
The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!
The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of 75 year old scotch didn't break. Surely God meant for us to drink this vintage delicacy and celebrate our good fortune." Then she handed the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opened it, drank half the bottle and then handed it back to the woman. The woman took the bottle, immediately put the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any"
She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."
( redhead would be able to think that
fast!!!! Brilliant …..)

This... guy is in serious trouble..

A Farmer orders an expensive milking
machine. He decides to test it on himself first, so he inserts his manhood into the equipment and turns on the switch. Soon he realizes that the equipment provides him with more pleasure than his wife does.
*But when the fun is over, he realizes that he cannot remove the instrument from his tool. Anxiously he reads the manual, but does not find any useful information.
**He tries every button on the instrument, without success.
Finally the Farmer decides
to call the customer hotline. *
*''Hello, I just bought a Cow Milking
Machine from your company, it works
fantastic, but how do you remove it from the cow's udder'' *
*"Don't worry sir'', replies the Customer
Service Person, ''the machine will release automatically once it has collected two litres!" ....

How To Shower Like a Man
Turn on immersion heater and wait hours for water to reheat after wife's shower.
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and throw them on bedroom floor.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo.....perfumed one
Fart again.
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of enclosure or door not closed properly the whole time.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on..
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.............

An old wolf.
So an older, white haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend .
The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a £5,000 ring and showed it to him.
The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special."
At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only ££40,000", the jeweller said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by check. "I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.
Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweller phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account."
"I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had"
(Typical guy
Dumb girl)

At a girl’s college dormitory, dates were permitted only on Saturday night. One young man showed up on a Tuesday evening, explaining to an older woman in the lobby of the dorm that it was imperative he see a certain young lady immediately.
“I want to surprise her. You see, I’m her brother.”
“Oh, she’ll be surprised all right,” said the woman. “But think of how surprised I am! I’m her mother!”

He was busted

One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start
talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says
to the woman, "Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll
just be one night of fun."
The woman doctor agrees to it. So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom.
She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating
room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have
intercourse for an hour or so.
Afterwards, the man says to the woman, "You're a surgeon, aren't you?" "Yeah, how did
you know.." The man says, "I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started."
"Oh, that makes sense", says the woman. " You're an anaesthesiologist aren't you"
"Yeah", says the man , a bit surprised. "How did you know"
"Because I didn't feel a thing."............

His ego just went south....

Graham Martin is in Hospital:
Who the hell is GRAHAM?
Well Graham is the geezer who got home late one night and Helen his wife, says. "Where the hell have you been?"
Graham replies. "I was getting a tattoo!"
"A tattoo?" She frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"
"I got a hundred dollar note on my privates." He said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking?" She said, shaking her head in disgust. "Why on earth would a Chartered Accountant get a hundred dollar note tattooed on his privates?"
"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow.
Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred dollars anytime you want."
Graham is now in The Critical Care Unit, Room 233. No visitors until further notice...............

A woman tries getting on a bus, but realizes her skirt is too tight. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, but only to discover that she couldn't.
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.
After becoming quite frustrated and embarrassed, she once again attempted to unzip her skirt more in order to allow more leg room to get on the first step of the bus.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus,
She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"
The Texan smiled and drawled "Well ma'am, normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times I kinda figured we were friends.

An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor”
“Of course child. What may I do for you”
“Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me.. Hide it under your robes perhaps”
“I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.”
“With your honest face, Father, no one will question you,” she replied.
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare”
“From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.”
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor”
Father replied, “I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused.”
Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father. Next please!”