Comedy Blogs (1,864)

hAVE YOU NOTICED? sOME PEOPLE FORGET THEY HAVE CAPS LOCK ON.
yEAH, IT'S AMAZING. eVERY FIRST LETTER OF A SENTENCE IS SMALL.
i'M GLAD i DON'T DO THINGS LIKE THAT!

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

(You're gonna love this.)

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

(You sang it, didn't you? Yeah, I know you did.)

Never take life too seriously (well, maybe coronavirus)

??.•Pass it on!! Give someone else a reason to smile. ??

"I like my women, as I like my coffee."
"Hot, and all over my lap, when I'm driving"

"My wife & I have been married for 20 years.
The secret to a long marriage is to keep it fresh.
Every Thursday we have date night.
She brings hers, and I bring mine."

"I love women. Really. I wish they ran the world.
If they did, there were be no wars !
There would never be a moment of peace, but no wars."

Interesting, when you have a fake profile with no picture and you write nonsense you have more views and conversations than with real ones. You can write such nonsense and you will get an answer. Interesting, very interesting. Check out my new blog tonight, How to spot scam. Thx

That's signal fluid be safe and save cash in doing so.

Right, possible hypothetical scenario to follow, suspension of reality required

It's the end of the world as we know it!!

Corona Morona Covid Wooha 19 virus-or-is-it-a-flu has morphed...has joined...with stuff... AND IT IS NOW THE BLACK PLAGUE(Mark 2)

Sooooooooo. We have 12 days What to do? Hmmmmmm

So, Chancer has a challenge for you

12 days

unlimited funds

unlimited imagination

We have all contracted the deadly disease. We have 12 days left. TOGETHER. What are we gonna do? We can do ANYTHING.

Run wild.

...on Facebook have turned overnight into skilled medical experts.