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I saw a story tonight where a couple were on vacation. He went off with family and she stayed behind. He allowed her to borrow his laptop because she didn't bring hers on the trip. She decided to create a folder with her name only to find one already there. Going through the folder she realizes he did background checks on her and her family prior to their marriage. When confronting him about it (in front of his family) he didn't think it was a big deal.

"She was horrified to find out just how extensive the background check was."

Angry, hurt she refused to discuss it in private and spent that night in a hotel. They cut the vacation short.

The woman posted an anonymous thread on the site called Reddit to get responses.
While some thought it was okay others thought it went into the 'creepy zone' that he also investigated her family. Some agreed she was right to be upset.

The story was picked up on Yahoo and some of the comments were all too real.
Typically 180 degrees of each other:

1) I support background checks. My friend's mom experienced domestic violence with her ex. She called the cops and went through the legal system. All to find out he had MULTIPLE arrests for domestic violence in the past. You can never be too careful.
2) In this present time, if I was getting interested in a woman, I would do a background check on her. You'll never know if there is something to be worried about unless you do it.
3) The wife was "hurt about the background check" and then "angry because she found out things about her family and friends that she never even knew."
4) (It would) be a little late to do a background AFTER the wedding.
5) Good job to the husband!!! All men should do the same before getting in bed with anyone.
6) The companies that provide these services regularly run ads: "check out the guy BEFORE you date him" and...women always check their husbands phones out....while very few men check out their wives phones (and if they did...oh MY GAWD...there'd be hell to pay).
7) He checked you out before you two got married. Chill woman.
8) People do that these days. Not surprising.
9) He did extensive background checks, then kept the files in his system! I wouldn’t want to stay around with someone who did that kind of thing.

My opinion is the writer was anonymous, therefore the story didn't give enough information about how or where they met or his financial status that would justify his actions. Not that what he did was wrong. However, his indiscretion for leaving that data on his laptop (and not in a secure/hidden folder) was short-sighted.
It wouldn't surprise me if that was enough for the woman to become alienated and head for a divorce.

I would like to send you a WARNING, but 1/3 of you have the wrong settings and a woman can not write to you. PLEASE contact me here if you are in a new connection which seems OK but you have not met this person. I will explain per post

I miss you!

There is something that reminds me of you everywhere I go. The grocery shop parking lot where you used to pick me up. The curb where you hit your bumper at. The right turn that leads to your area. Our favorite restaurant. Alfredo pasta that you used to cook for me, the watch that you insisted to pay for as a gift for the holidays. The night stand that you chose carefully to make sure it was in my taste. The earphones that you got me because I broke mine. It was colored pink because I asked you to pick a fun color. The netflix series that I made you watch. Your favorite basketball player whose name I could never pronounce. Everytime I go out, I hoped to run into you.

To me you were perfect. Your eyes were the perfect shade of brown, your curled lashes that hit your glasses. The perfect arch of your eyebrows. Your lips were the perfect shade of red. And your perfect nose! You were everything I ever wanted and hoped for. I thought if I could make you love me, that would be the best thing in the world.

But since it didn’t work, i just miss you! I miss you. It hurts when I think that someday you’d marry someone else. And she will have all of your love and affection. It hurts badly. But I have to settle on the fact that it is over between us. And take comfort that you once were mine.

Goodbye.

Everyone is looking! But do some of us even knows what we really want or looking for ??? Am simple single jamaican man living alone am 34 please just be your self and feel free to msg me thanks

A very high percentage of dating site members are seeking a soulmate.
It appears to be the number one request.
You know... that 'one-in-a-million' chance of finding someone.

Forget dating for a few seconds and do some math instead.
Let's play the lottery. Pick 6 that runs twice a week.
Bet 100 cards at a dollar each time.
Ignoring the months that have 5 weeks for now, it's 8 times per month
That's $800 a month or $9,600 a year.
9,600 tries to get a winning number.
I read somewhere that people go into a frenzy when the jackpot exceeds $100 million and they start betting more. The smart thing to do is increase your selections to increase your odds or get into an office pool where groups of people put money together and agree to share the winnings.
What we don't hear is obsessive gambling bringing up winners.

Considering 90% or more of the dating site are scammers, you've got 10% to work with.

Messaging 100 and you might find 10 worth starting a conversation with. Of the 10, you may only find 1 of them worth trying to actually meet.
One in a hundred is pretty low odds just to meet someone who came here to meet their soulmate too!

Hey there! Alone? Me to looking for advise here,I've been lied cheated and ultimately betrayed and was looking for ??????

So then you see him and...chemistry. Instant attraction, magnetism ...so instantaneous, drawn to him, but it turns out not so good?
Give the good guys a chance, instant physical attraction is not a good indicator of his true qualities, give it time and allow him to prove to you that he can make you happier ?? because yoiu are already happy, right?
Just wondering if I'm making sense here...
Certainly believe that the way to go would be to give opportunity to men based on their authenticity, true values, morals and better qualities rather than just great physical attraction...
He could be like a fungus ???? and grow on you...give it a chance eh?

Without going into too many details,
when she opened her front door and I saw what she was wearing,
lets just say, that I was.....

totally spellbound.
It wasn't a trick, but a nice treat.

I've read lots of profiles of 35ish women to see stated: her kids are far away.
I usually ask myself: Why and who has her kids? What are the circumstances they would be in a dating site, some divorced and many never married.

It's known many young Philippine women take jobs in other countries for financial support of their families back home while the grandparents raise the children. Personal sacrifice.
On the other end of the spectrum is the question what happens if the mother is unfit and the court awards custody to the father...

Doing the math, lets say having a child at 25, she's now 35 and the child is 10.
Getting into a relationship with a woman who has a distant child (or children) doesn't always sound like the best choice to get started on a relationship.
Red Flags should be going up!

That's my thought on the subject.

So I'm talking to this guy, and we've been mic chatting for weeks on Skype and talkin by phone. Even though he's seen photo's of my septum piercing, I hadn't posted any pic's of me on the dating site since I replaced my stainless steel jewelry with a tribal bone tusk.

While on the cam tonight, once he saw me, his tone never changed. He didn't say anything about it. So, I'm guessing it's not such a big deal to him that I've got the bone in my nose - which I expected questions, but was pleasantly surprised. I think he's innerstanding more that it's really important to me to not look like I live in or belong to colonial society. I just want to be me, and honor my Native ancestry in the ways that we did before the harassment, terrorism, and oppression of colonialism squashed the language, the ghost dancing, body modifications, and various other traditions.

Now, once I tattoo my lower lip and chin, it'll be interesting if he is also silent about that. That I plan to happen before mid December.