Today in a community in my province. Not a storm system, just a cold front.
Me and the wife, we got such cute pet names for each other. She is my honey bunches and I am her fking a**hole
Its hard for me to relate to people sometimes. I mean, I'm telling them about the time I jumped off the cliff trying to fly like superman because my mother made a cape for me out of a garbage bag only to nearly kill myself, they look at me totally bewildered and I'm like "you never?"
Socializing is hard
The word incorrectly is spelled incorrectly in every dictionary
The newfie says to the bartender "get me a drink before the fight starts." The bartender gives him the drink and the newfie downs it. The newfie says "give me another drink before the fight starts." The bartender hands him the drink and says " here you go, and by the way, who is fighting?"
The newfie replies "me and you when you find out I can't pay for these drinks."
Two old women were outside one day having a smoke when it started to rain. One old lady pulled a condom out of her purse and put it over her smoke. The other old lady asked "what is that?" The first old lady said "its a condom and they are great for keeping your smokes dry. You can get them at the drug store".
A few days later it rains again and the 2nd old lady goes to the drug store and asks for some condoms. The clerk, taken back a bit that such a old woman would be asking for condoms decides to humor her a bit and says "sure, what brand would you like?" The old lady replies "it doesn't matter as long as they can fit a camel".
Monkeys relax, eat, play, sleep and have sex like crazy ...
I was wondering ... why the hell did we evolve ?!
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