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It Wasn't Me

A new parody music video produced by Reason magazine mocks Democratic lawmakers who were caught breaking their own lockdown rules during the coronavirus pandemic.

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Bagpipes throw fire

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If

If BY RUDYARD KIPLING
(‘Brother Square-Toes’—Rewards and Fairies)

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son.

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Al Gore Commemorates Earth Day By Using Private Jet To Write 'Save The Planet' In The Sky

U.S.—In a gesture meant to call people to action on climate change and the environment, Al Gore took to the skies in a private jet to write "Save the Planet" in the sky, sources confirmed Monday.



Gore flew from coast to coast and wrote the message in the sky above dozens of metropolitan areas in a courageous move to ask people to stop burning jet fuels, gasoline, and other carbon-emitting products.

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"I just want to call everybody else---not me, of course, but the rest of the country---to take action before it's too late," Gore said of the message he wrote in the sky above the nation. "And the best way to do that is with a big message in the sky in this luxury jet."

"Hello, commoners!" an excited Gore said as he waved at the window at all the tiny people he condemns for flying commercial once in a while and running their air conditioners when it gets really hot.

At publishing time, Gore had confirmed he was having a new mansion built---one that spells out "Save the earth!" when viewed from the sky.

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CNN Cancels Airport Network, Allowing Flyers to Travel in Peace

In an email to CNN employees, CNN head, “Dwarf King,” and puppetmaster Jeff Zucker announced the decision, citing a “steep decline in airport traffic because of COVID-19, coupled with all the new ways that people are consuming content on their personal devices.”

Therefore, Zucker added, there’s less of a “need for the CNN Airport Network.” As an aside, there’s a question that has to be asked: Was it ever necessary to begin with?

Zucker’s e-mail made it seem like this was the passing of a dear family member:

Having to say goodbye to such a beloved brand is not easy...It also became an iconic part of the traveling experience in this country.

I am sure most of us have a story to tell about which airport we were at when we first learned of a major news event. Be proud that we had a hand in sharing some incredible stories with many millions of people over the past three decades.

Imagine being that broken up about the end of a near-monopoly on airport TVs that, as many have liked to joke over the years, must have inflated CNN’s viewership.

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Tommy Lasorda a Dodgers legend and arguably the most famous manager in MLB history -- has died

Tommy Lasorda a Dodgers legend and arguably the most famous manager in MLB history -- has died, TMZ Sports has confirmed.

He was 93 years old.

The Dodgers released a statement Friday morning ... saying Lasorda suffered a sudden cardiac arrest at his California home and was transported to the hospital with resuscitation in progress.

He was pronounced dead at 10:57 PM Thursday night.

As we previously reported, Lasorda was admitted to a Southern California hospital back in mid-November in "serious condition" ... and required sedation. He was also put on a ventilator.

But, Tommy's condition improved over the past few weeks ... and just a few days ago, he returned home.

Though, tragically, Lasorda passed on Thursday.

"Words can not express my feelings," legendary manager Bobby Valentine said on Twitter. "A friend and mentor for 52 years is no longer with us. Tommy no one will ever fill the void you left. Thank you for everything. R.I.P."

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Post Turtle

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Feminists Get Taste of Their Own Medicine, Fined Under Gender Equality Act for Hiring Too Many Women

In 2013, France decided to strike un petit blow against the patriarchy.

No more could top positions be filled with sclerotic white males and/or future sclerotic white males. Instead, only 60 percent of management could be of one gender. As for those elsewhere on the gender spectrum, well, I’m sure the Fifth Republic will catch up with you sometime soon, assuming they haven’t already.

The move was purportedly done to ensure gender parity. A noble cause — except that’s not really what it was about, since the only reason most of us know about the regulation is that it’s caused an international furor because Paris’ mayor got fined for appointing too many women to senior roles.

According to AFP, Socialist Anne Hidalgo said $110,100 fine for her 2018 staffing decisions was “absurd.”

And yet, there it was — her new management hires consisted of 11 women, five men. That’s 69 percent female.

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Amputee Army Vet Adopts Dog With Missing Leg In Beautiful Story Of Hope.

When terrible things occur in your life, it can be all too easy to focus on the negative and allow yourself to spiral into depression.

Joshua Ferguson of Tennessee understands these dark moments better than most. As a veteran of the United States Army, Joshua suffered a devastating setback when he lost his leg in an explosion caused by an improvised explosive device. Now that he’s retired and back home with his family he focuses on gratitude to help him overcome his new disability.


“There’s silver linings to anything, you can find something, and even if you can’t, somebody’s had it worse! So stop complaining,” said Joshua, who recently adopted a dog with whom he has a lot in common.


Back in June, a hiker stumbled upon a little dog in a wooded area at Johnson Creek near Burns, Tennessee. The pup was in bad shape, and one of his legs was mangled beyond repair. The hiker brought the dog to the Humane Society of Dickson County where they did their best to save his life. Veterinarians believe that the dog, who they called Scooter, had gotten his leg stuck and was forced to gnaw it off in order to find food.

After Scooter’s leg was surgically amputated the shelter began hunting for the perfect family for the special needs pup. As soon as Joshua spotted him on the local rescue’s website, he knew they were kindred spirits. Joshua volunteered to foster Scooter and the pair soon bonded.

“He makes it easier for me to remember, ‘hey it’s still a beautiful day,’” Joshua explained. “You realize really just how tremendous a journey life is.”

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Mercedes AA all electric car

New Mercedes AA all electric car that runs on 9648 AA batteries.

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