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AL SHARPTON CAN’T SPELL ARETHA FRANKLIN SONG: ‘R-E-S-P-I-C-T’

Haha, now this is funny. Although nobody watches Al Sharpton’s Show this is a moment that can’t be missed. While honoring the late Aretha Franklin, Sharpton has a difficult time spelling her legendary song R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Just watch to see the notch job Al Sharpton puts on. It’s obvious spelling is not his strongest quality.




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Andrew Cuomo Organizes Flag Burning To Win Progressive Support

NEW YORK, NY—Thanks to a primary challenge from Cynthia Nixon, Governor Andrew Cuomo has apparently veered to the left in an attempt to not lose progressive support. Recently, he rebuked President Trump by stating that America “was never that great.” He later apologized for that remark since it implied America could be somewhat great, which he said it was “too awful to be true” because of “women not getting the same amount of pay as men or something.”



Cuomo followed that new statement up with a rally that consisted of his standing on stage with an American flag and a lighter. “You progressives are going to love this!” Cuomo said before lighting the flag and yelling, “Take that, you stupid country!” He then jumped up and down on the burning flag while shouting, “Look at me! I’m a left winger!” While there was some scattered applause, the crowd mainly reacted with quiet confusion and boos.

Cuomo seemed frustrated by the response and donned a black mask while saying, “I’m going to show you I’m progressive.” He then picked up a bat and started beating a random person in the crowd while shouting, “Take that, Nazi!” When someone told him to stop, he yelled, “You must be a Nazi too!” At that point, the rally quickly dispersed.

Undaunted, Cuomo has issued a press release stating that next week he’ll be part of a same-sex wedding ceremony in which he will marry an actor portraying Joseph Stalin.

Tag - Satire

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What Gives ???

Paul Manifort is in solitary confinement for not paying taxes. In New Mexico a judge let 5 Jihadis out on bail after abusing nearly a dozen children who were allegedly malnourished and dehydrated. What gives?
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Bernie Sanders Generously Gives Homeless Man Money Out Of Wallet He Just Stole

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Showing himself to be a compassionate man of the people who cares deeply about the plight of the downtrodden, Senator Bernie Sanders selflessly offered a stack of bills to a homeless man on the street Monday after fishing the money out of a purse sitting next to a woman on a park bench.



Sanders had been crouched in shrubbery that lined the street, on the prowl for people who looked like they had too much money when he leaped out to steal the wallet from the purse of the woman. “He was surprisingly sneaky for a 76-year-old guy,” said one onlooker.

The Vermont senator was reportedly thinking of saving the money for himself.

But just then, he saw a homeless man sitting nearby, begging for money. Moved by the pathetic sight of the man’s disheveled appearance, Sanders found it in his heart to commit a random act of kindness, digging through the wallet until he was able to find several $20 bills and slipping them into the man’s hand.

“It’s not theft—it’s redistribution,” he told reporters later. “I was simply benefiting one citizen at the expense of another—doing what any old citizen couldn’t do without committing a crime. But it’s different because I’m the government, see?”

At publishing time, the Senator was seen pocketing the rest of the money.

Tag - Satire

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America

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Murder Rate Finally Plateaus In Chicago As Even Murderers Too Scared To Go Out At Night

CHICAGO, IL—It looked like good news for Chicago as the skyrocketing murder rate finally started to level off, but the reason for the decline turned out to be alarming: murder has gotten so bad in Chicago that now even the average murderer won’t go out at night for fear of being murdered.



“I love murder,” said local murderer Carl Gross, “but I don’t want to be murdered. It’s gotten so bad out here, though, that we regular, salt-of-the-earth murderers are being preyed upon by all the really deranged murderers who don’t follow the murderer’s code of not murdering murderers.”

Bennie Arnold, Chicago resident and occasional strangler, agreed. “I just want to strangle people,” said Arnold. “But now I’m too scared to go out at night to find victims, so I just stay home with the doors locked. I guess now I know how I made regular folk feel… which would really make me think if I weren’t a sociopath.”

Mayor Rahm Emanuel wouldn’t meet with reporters to talk about the crisis, instead releasing this statement through a locked door: “How do I know you’re really reporters and not just murderers in disguise who have come here to murder me? You’re not tricking me. I’m staying in here, safe behind this murder-proof door.”

It’s uncertain how to stop this epidemic where even murderers are getting murdered. President Donald Trump offered to deploy Space Force personnel to the scene until he learned Chicago wasn’t in space and then lost interest in the problem.

“They could try gun control,” suggested Gross. “I mean, that never worked on me—I always still got a gun and murdered people with it—but maybe they can come up with some gun control that would actually work and stop even people like me from getting a gun. Then I’d feel safer and could finally go out at night and murder people with a pipe. I love pipe murder.”



Tag - Satire
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Caption This.......

Borrowing the theme for this blog from my old buddy, the one the only JimNastics. He has done a lot of these and I found an interesting pic.

My caption is .... "I said can you please join the car pool."

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Cooking Bacon

In case you forgot how to cook bacon, one brand offers instructions.

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Ocasio-Cortez Severely Burned After Accidentally Touching Book On Basic Economics

NEW YORK, NY—Democratic candidate for Congress Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was in the middle of a run-of-the-mill interview—blankly staring at the interviewer for a minute straight after being asked how she’d pay for all the social programs she’s proposing—when disaster struck. She noticed a book on a table nearby and reached over to pick it up before anyone could stop her.



“Aieeee! It burns ussss!” Ocasio-Cortez screamed as her hand burst into flames from touching the book on rudimentary economic concepts. She claimed she had never seen one of those “dreadful things” before and wasn’t aware how much damage it could do.

She was immediately rushed to the hospital.

“As socialism has become increasingly popular, we’ve been seeing more and more of this,” said Doctor Pauline Hudson, who treated Ocasio-Cortez for third-degree burns. “Often it’s a severe-allergic reaction to math. Socialist policies are all well and good, but if you adopt them, you want to stay far away from even basic economic idea like supply and demand. It’s not pretty what happens when the two collide.”

Ocasio-Cortez is expected to make a full-recovery and seems undaunted by the incident, already proposing even more programs she thinks the government should pay for, like dog-walking. In the future, she says she’ll be more careful. Luckily, Ocasio-Cortez is expected to easily win her heavily Democratic district which means she’s headed for our nation’s Capitol, a place that’s traditionally been a safe space from economics and math.

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TAG - SATIRE

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For those cursed with alcoholism

A song for you.

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Former CIA Officer: Clinton "Involved In Biggest Treason In History"

Former CIA Officer and whistle blower Kevin Shipp says what Hillary Clinton did with her charity and Uranium One while she was Secretary of State was a crime for the history books.

Shipp explains, “Hillary Clinton used this to launder money in foreign banks so it wasn’t subject to U.S. laws, congressional subpoenas or FOIA demands for the evidence. This was done to launder this money globally into the Clinton Foundation so the U.S. government could not examine it at all.”

Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller was the head of the FBI while the Uranium One deal was being done by Clinton and the Russians. One fifth of U.S. uranium production was bought by the Russians in a deal Clinton pushed and approved. The Clinton Foundation received more than $140 million from some of the same Russian players who were involved with Uranium One. Why didn’t Mueller stop the deal? Shipp says,

“Mueller is either a complete moron, which he is not, or he overlooked the biggest counterterrorism cases in U.S. history. It involved Hillary Clinton, the Clinton Foundation, Uranium One and, of course, the destruction of all the emails and evidence and her secret server, and on and on and on it goes, and he (Mueller) ignored it all.”

How did she get away with obvious crime? Shipp says,

“The most bizarre thing is the people who protected her from clear felonious activity and violations of the Espionage Act. James Clapper, Director of National Intelligence, was protecting her and leaking things to the media and lying. You had John Brennan, Director of the CIA, protecting her by starting a false investigation (on Trump) and stirring things up with this (false/unverified) dossier. You had James Comey, Director of the FBI, protecting her...

Then, you’ve got Peter Strzok protecting her, and now it appears the United Kingdom GCHQ was using NSA information to target Donald Trump and protect Hillary Clinton. You have to ask yourself what kind of power or connections does this woman have to get all of these members of the Deep State, Shadow Government to risk their own criminal penalties to protect her and try to get her elected? That is the Shadow Government. That is the Deep State. That is what is so chilling about this whole thing...

This is deep. This is dark. This is as dark as it gets, and this is the biggest espionage case involving government officials in the history of this country.”

Full article:

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Unprecedented Hate For President Trump

I am 68 years old and I have never in my life seen the level of hate some people have for anybody, than they have for our President, Donald J. Trump. The haters can claim all they want that he is awful, stupid, bigoted, and even worse, but the fact remains he is a very popular President to his supporters and his popularity with blacks is growing every day. His haters hate him because their choice for President, Hillary Clinton, couldn't steal the general election like she did in the primaries. Trump haters are just plain spoiled cry babies that are the sorest losers I have ever seen. The level of their hate spills over to Trump's supporters which is unforgivable and unfortunate. The mood of the country is uneasy because Trump haters have a blind, unmitigated, unadulterated hate for the man and there is no other reason. Deny it all you want haters, but your childish conduct is only going to insure that you will never again get a Democrat President in my, and hopefully your lifetimes.

Your hate is disgusting. Your hate is un-American, your hate is borderline seditious.

You don;t have to go far to see the face of hatred in this country. Just go look in the mirror.

Long live President Donald J. Trump. Shame on you haters.

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