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Steven Wright quotes

The Quotes of Steven Wright:
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

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Disabled Veteran creates Go Fund Me account to help build the Southern border wall !!

There was no bigger campaign promise from Donald Trump than securing our southern border and protecting the American people with a wall. It’s also been what the left has pushed back the hardest on. Now, almost two years into his presidency, Trump still hasn’t gotten the wall he’s been working really hard to make happen.
With just a few days until the threat of a government shutdown becomes a reality right in the middle of the holidays, We the People have put our money where our mouths are. President Trump is getting a massive Christmas gift a week early, from proud Americans who are fed up with the fight from the left, the invasion of illegal aliens who threaten our families, democracy, and success of our country.

It’s been long asked why there isn’t a crowdsourcing campaign to pay for the wall and if there was one, the American people would solve the problem fast of where the funds are going to come from. A GoFundMe has now begun, thanks to one actual hero who took it upon himself to get the wall paid for.

It’s only taken 24 hours to show liberals that the majority of citizens in this country want a wall and are proving that by paying for it.

Senior Airman Brian Kolfage Jr lost three limbs in Iraq, fighting for our safety but wasn’t done there. Kolfage started the fund for the wall on Monday, December 17, and the American people have responded in unprecedented amounts.



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Go Fund Me account:
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God Only Knows

The meaning of the Beach Boys classic.

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Trump Can Build the Wall Without Congress, Here’s How…

If Congress refuses to provide funding for a border wall the President has the authority AND the cash to do it on his own, as USA Today reports:

The federal government has shut down because Republicans can’t agree on funding for President Donald Trump’s main campaign promise to build a wall on the southern border with Mexico, and Democrats are insisting they will not vote for wall funding.

This typical Washington gridlock is surmountable because Trump can build the wall on his own.

A week ago, the White House put out a call to federal agencies to look for “pots of money” in their existing budgets that could be cobbled together to pay for border wall construction.

Immediately, Sen. John Thune, the Republican whip in the upper chamber, shot down the idea of shifting funds from executive departments to the border, saying, “I’m not a big fan of moving money.”

Like it or not, there are sources of revenue in the executive branch that the president has authority to use without congressional approval.

According to the authors of the article there are many sources of funds within executive agencies.

Here’s an example:

The Department of Agriculture has about $200 billion in outstanding loans for rural development projects such as community buildings, bridges, roads, fire stations, police stations, water projects and barriers such as fencing and walls. These federal loans to local communities have low default rates that are attractive to private-sector investors because they represent large, reliable cash flows — the kind of investments that big money funds desperately desire.

About $50-100 billion worth currently held by USDA are very marketable and attractive commercial paper investments. The rights to collect the remainder of the debt on these loans could be sold to private parties who would pay a premium for such a steady stream of cash payments. The sales would give a profit cushion to the government and alleviate taxpayers from any future risk of nonpayment while retaining certain borrower guarantees.

For example, Trump could authorize the sale of $10 billion of USDA rural water loans on the secondary market, which could bring in a lump sum payment of $12 billion or more. Revenue from these proceeds could be directed to build the border wall.

The best part of all this is it’s perfectly legal, and all the Democrats, and many Republicans, could do about it is whine and cry:

Obama stimulus loans (approximately $2-$5 billion) could be separated out and used because they involved “no year” money, meaning the funds don’t expire if not spent in a certain time frame.

The president could tap into USDA’s Community Facilities Programs money if recouped funds from the sale were used for new loans to cooperating communities on the border, such as in Texas.

Another option would be to utilize funds in the same way USDA undertakes in-kind swaps with private parties to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars worth of commodities and services. This would entail swapping the proceeds of the commercial paper sales for the wall, with construction companies being the counterparties.

These are only a few creative funding avenues that could be explored, some less complicated than others.

Such an aggressive approach is a sure way for Trump to regain the initiative and get the attention of lawmakers who have an interest in killing any threat to their control over spending, thus giving the president leverage in negotiations as pressure mounts to end the shutdown.

While the Constitution gives Congress power over the government’s purse strings, presidents of both parties have pushed the limits of their flexibility to use executive-branch funds free of congressional micromanagement.

What do you think?



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Surprise military homecoming

Eitan and Romit Urman are annual season ticket holders of the Phoenix Coyotes NHL team. Needless to say, they are familiar with the team. They’re familiar with the arena, possibly even several of their fellow fans. Which is why it didn’t seem odd to them that they were to perform the traditional opening puck drop.

It’s an honor that any hockey fan would love to get, and these two certainly felt honored when they were chosen to drop the opening puck. So they go out to center ice. But then they’re told to turn around, and that someone special is on their way. Can you guess who came to see them? Can you!?

No spoilers here — you’ll have to watch the video to find out the surprise. But we guarantee that it’s well worth watching! This could quite possibly be the best opening moments of any hockey game. It certainly was for Eitan and Romit Urman when they turned around and saw who was coming!

Watch the video below to find out!

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Luke 2:8-12

8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.
9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.
10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.
11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.
12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Trump has 3 border wall trump cards

One way or another, President Trump will be rewarding his supporters with billions of dollars' worth of border wall construction.

He has, in essence, given opponents of acceding to his program to protect the border the easy way or the hard way.

The easy way would be for Chuck Schumer to allow eight of his senators to vote in favor of the new C.R. and have it pass.

It is unlikely that Amy Schumer's cousin would agree, but even if he stands fast, he will not like the first trump card that Trump mentioned this morning in a tweet:
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This puts a hot potato in Mitch McConnell's lap. He probably does not relish the prospect of losing the filibuster as a weapon to use against a future Democrat majority in the Senate.

If McConnell demurs, this leaves a second trump card: use of the budget reconciliation process that allows a simple Senate majority to enact legislation:

Created by the Congressional Budget Act of 1974, reconciliation allows for expedited consideration of certain tax, spending, and debt limit legislation. In the Senate, reconciliation bills aren't subject to filibuster and the scope of amendments is limited, giving this process real advantages for enacting controversial budget and tax measures.

If Congress fails to do this, he has a third trump card. Jason Chaffetz explains:

Washington's dirty little secret is that unauthorized spending is not even uncommon anymore.
The Democrats may feign exasperation with the president potentially spending "unauthorized" money on the wall, but they have enthusiastically participated in the budgetary games that will make it possible. During the Obama administration, the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office (CBO) estimated $310 billion was spent on unauthorized appropriations in FY 2016 – the last fiscal year of his presidency.

The federal budget is enormous – more than $4 trillion each year, of which roughly $1 trillion is discretionary. It is Congress's job to authorize programs and appropriate funds for them from this $1 trillion.

However, the budget categories under which programs are authorized and funds are appropriated are very broad, and since Congress doesn't pass specific language about every last dollar's use, discretionary funds are inevitably used for things that Congress never specifically funds.
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Wounded Warrior Project

Wounded Warrior Project was founded in 2003 in Roanoke Virginia by John Melia.

Who is a warrior?

Veterans and service members who incurred a physical or mental injury, illness, or wound while serving in the military on or after September 11, 2001. You are our focus. You are our mission.

Here, you’re not a member – you’re an alumnus, a valued part of a community that’s been where you’ve been, and understands what you need. Everything we offer is free because there’s no dollar value to finding recovery and no limit to what you can achieve.

More than 52,000 servicemen and women physically injured in recent military conflicts. 500,000 living with invisible wounds, from depression to post-traumatic stress disorder. 320,000 experiencing debilitating brain trauma.

Advancements in technology and medicine save lives – but the quality of those lives might be profoundly altered.

The numbers speak for themselves, because not every warrior can. With the support of our community of donors and team members, we give a voice to those needs and empower our warriors to begin the journey to recovery.



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How was the drive??

Husband: how was your drive back home? Wife: it was fine, I missed the main exit but I managed to do it.

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Time to investigate the investigators?

Corsi files criminal complaint against Mueller, alleges bid to seek false testimony

Conservative author Jerome Corsi on Monday filed a “criminal and ethics complaint” against Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s team, accusing investigators of trying to bully him into giving “false testimony” against President Trump.

The complaint, which Corsi had threatened for days, is the latest escalation between Mueller’s team and its investigation targets.


The 78-page document, asserting the existence of a “slow-motion coup against the president,” was filed to a range of top law enforcement officials including Acting Attorney General Matthew Whitaker, DOJ Inspector General Michael Horowitz, D.C.’s U.S. Attorney Jessie Liu and the Bar Disciplinary Counsel.

“Dr. Corsi has been criminally threatened and coerced to tell a lie and call it the truth,” the complaint states.

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Ninth Circuit Court Rules Border Wall Must Be Short Enough That A Pregnant Woman Could Scale It

Ninth Circuit Court Rules Border Wall Must Be 'Short Enough That A Pregnant Woman Carrying A Child In Each Arm Could Be Expected To Scale It Without Difficulty'

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Amid heated debate in Washington over President Trump's border wall, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has weighed in, ruling that construction on the U.S.-Mexico border wall can proceed, so long as it is "short enough that a pregnant woman carrying a child in each arm could be expected to scale it without difficulty."



While that definition may seem vague to some, the Ninth Circuit's judges further clarified in their decision that "two or three feet high ought to suffice." Contractors working on the wall have been ordered to have a pregnant woman and several children on hand. Each family will be asked to stress-test climbing over the wall every ten feet to ensure all portions of the barrier are equally easy to scale. Should the sample woman have to exert herself too much, construction workers will have to lower that part of the wall.

"We are in full support of President Trump's right to secure our nation's borders, so long as his actions do not cause undue burden on those trying to get into our country illegally," the court wrote in its decision.

The Court further assured Americans that is decision is in keeping with the Constitution, claiming that they googled "What is the Constitution?" and "Constitutional Law for Dummies" several times during deliberations.

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