Past care givers lament.

I laid each night and counted your breaths, afraid to sleep, least they ceased.
The days of joy, the long dark nights.
Hopes for more, a week, month or years. Dare I wish, a decade or more?
And then one morn, I sat by you in I.C.U., next to your bed, and watched those breathes slowly go. So soft, so fast, shallower and shallower til your lips trembled and you were gone.
And my heart broke.crying
My life, my love, my shining knight, 31 years, and now, no more.
20 years your sickness took..and gave. So close, so intimate, so loyal.
We'd never shared a life that close, except when you, me and MS, those 3, made you and me just one.
The day that came, we always knew would be one day.
Yet for all my fears and all my tears, each crisis passed and you stayed mine.
Yet, how unexpected came that final day, that day MS took your breath away.
Now I wake, alone in bed and will that darkness to give me those sweet breaths, that filled my life.
To give sweet kisses upon your face, your bright blues eyes , that loving smile.
How empty now this house, without those breaths to count.blues teddybear
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Comments (10)

My heart goes out for you.sad flower
Orzzz,

Behind that tough exterior is a lady who truly loved her guy....

We never stop missing them...or, loving them...

Now, you got me crying....

Your guy was so lucky to have you.
So was yourssad flower
Heartfelt condolences. sad flower bouquet bouquet
sad heart breaking read sad flower

So sorry for your loss Orzzteddybear
be it recent or you're filled with sadness from just remembering.

So was mine sigh
hug
Its been 14 years. But, when we love someone who is half of our soul and heart, the memories never fade, nor the love. I feel sorry for those who get dumped in a home because it is too much work to care for them. I was told once by an aide that she would have put him in a home. I said I vowed in sickness and health, not as long as convenient and beneficial. And I know he would have taken care of me the same.
Odd thing is we would never have bonded so close as in a normal marriage. It was us against the world.
I told him I married a heart and soul. The body was just the carrier. And he still was my support and rock, even as an invalid.heart1
My guy would have done the same for me too...Reading this brought back memories of sleeping on his chest..so, if he woke up in the middle of the night, I would wake up....

He had a saying, 2 hearts, 1 love....I have that on his plaque on his grave...
We were bikers, his handle was Easy. Mine is Freedom. Our headstone has "together, love was free and easy.' When we love each other so much, the mind is the most important thing. As long as our loved one can talk, advise, console, exchange memories and ideas..then all the rest is minor.
That is why Alzheimer's is so cruel.
I feel sorry for people who change spouses like underwear. We had the truest mates and love. Maybe it got boring sometimes. Maybe it got argumentative at times. But, united, we faced the world for all those years we were blessed to have together. Maybe someday we meet again.teddybear
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Meet the Author of this Blog
Orzzz

Orzzz

Portage, Wisconsin, USA

Gearhead, farmer, buckskinner, survivallist, craftsman, recluse. [read more]

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created Jul 2023
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Last Commented: Aug 2023
Last Edited: Jul 2023
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